The Perfect Holiday?

A make your own adventure game

1. It’s Christmas Eve and you waited last minute to do all your shopping! Now what?
-Psh, I already did my shopping you liar, Go to 6
-Um, I don’t give gifts…, Go to 3
-OMG! Go to 5
-I’ll find something in my closet, maybe, Go to 2
-I don’t celebrate Christmas…, Go to 9

2. You make your way to your room. What kind of closet do you have?
-Closet? I meant desk drawer, Go to 4
-The average closet dumbo, Go to 8
-It’s a mini-mall, Go to 14

3. You evil person! Santa will not be pleased…
-There’s no such thing as Santa, Go to 7
-I want a re-do on that one! Go to 1
-Can I just give him cookies instead? Go to 11

4. Oo Um, well then… What’s in there?
-Some twine and… oh! Some play-dough! Go to 17
-Twenty bucks, Go to 19
-My clothes, Go to 15

5. To the store! Were shall you go?
-The mall, Go to 29
-Walmart, Go to 16
-I have no cash, Go to 24

6. You’re no fun you non-procrastinator!
-Nyah! Deal with it, Go to 3
-Sorry, but I can’t lie…, Go to 55
-Want some cookies? Go to 11

7. No Santa? We’ll just see about that!
-Fine, I’ll wait on the roof until dawn and PROVE IT, Go to 13
-I need to prove nothing to you, Go to 9
-Actually, between you and me… Go to 12

8. You’re mean… Anyway, the basic closet holds clothes and useless junk. Anything good in there?
-No… Go to 5
-Clothes, Go to 15
-Lotion, Go to 10

9. In that case, you can leave now and not have a very Merry Christmas… THE END

10. And what is the point of that? I can think of some uses and I’m NOT going there…
-I have no cash, what do you want from me? Go to 24
-Fine, I’ll look in my closet, Go to 8
-Screw this presents thing, Go to 3

11. Cookies huh? What kind are you going to make?
-Chocolate chip, Go to 32
-Mint, Go to 36
-Plain, Go to 27
-Ass Cookies lol, Go to 9

12. I don’t want to know. So bugger off!
- TTTT, Go to 22
-Fine, Go to 13

13. You go outside. Numbnuts. It’s winter, you’ll get hypothermia. But you knew that when you went out without a coat, right? THE END

14. Holy slushies! Now, which end of the place do you start at?
-North, Go to 20
-South, Go to 28
-East, Go to 25
-West, Go to 38

15. Are you going to keep your clothes or go nude for a month, in the WINTER?
-On second thought, maybe I’ll bake, Go to 11
-Yes, it’s the time of giving! Go to 13-
Can I keep some of them? Go to 18

16. The evil Non-Star-Wars related Empire… And what is it you buy?
-A unique gift for everybody! Go to 26
-Everyone gets the same thing, Go to 35
-Drugs, Go to 23
-Candy Canes, Go to 33

17. That may not go over so well buddy.
-Oh, Go to 5
-Who doesn’t love twine? Go to 30

18. It’s all or nothing.
-F you, Go to 9
-Cruel… Go to 15

19. What are you going to do? Rip it up?
-Yes, Go to 21
-Store it is, Go to 5

20. Arctic gear was strategically placed in the north sector. But my question is: How’d you get the grizzly bear in there? THE END

21. Sorry, I can’t let you waste twenty bucks.
-There is no choice: go to 5

22. Crying does nothing. You annoy me.
-I’ll go outside then! Go to 13
-Buttface. I’m starting over to spite you! Go to 1

23. You can’t get- wait, nevermind. My bad. Anyway, in the process of gift giving, you did more receiving than giving, which in the end my druggie friend, put you in rehab. God bless us all. THE END

24. That can be a problem now can’t it? Well, you must have SOMETHING…
-Maybe, Go to 2
-I feel so sad! Go to 22

25. The east side holds all of your household appliances. Now, what is it that you wish to give?
-A refrigerator! Go to 39
-Who doesn’t need a toaster? Go to 30
-Let’s go back a bit, Go to 14

26. Well, in your good-hearted deed of giving a splendid gift to all, you lost track of time. Because of snow, Walmart locked down and you’re stuck there. Because Walmart has not closed for years, you are stuck in a bit of turmoil here. Hope the service desk employee doesn’t turn on you… Whoops, too late. THE END

27. That doesn’t exist.
-Cry me a river, I’m making plain cookies! Go to 31
-Then what have I been baking the past three years? Go to 34
-I’ll choose something else then, Go to 11

28. Dang… How many plush toys do you own? My good gracious…
-I’m going to give this toy elephant! Go to 42
-You’re right! I can’t give any of these up! Go to 3
-Maybe Teletubbies aren’t the greatest gift after all, Go to 14

29. What a frightful place! It’s not too late to run!
-Wimp. Go to 31
-To Walmart! We know how much safer THAT is… Go to 16
-I think I’ll be ok, Go to 40

30. I’ll tell you who: Little Jimmy. The poor kid opened your gift and strangled himself. Nice going. I’m sure that fills you with joy you freak. But the aftermath is a whole other story… Something I don’t care about THE END

31. You mean! If you’re so tough, then why don’t you step in front of an ice cream truck and have at it? Yeah, I thought so. Wimp. THE END

32. Good ole fashioned cookies are perfect. Who are they for?
-Myself, Go to 3
-Santa, Go to 37
-Presents to people, Go to 49
-The angry writer, Go to 41

33. That’s a nice present. Everyone gets something sweet and isn’t left out. How great is that? And your wallet wasn’t forced into bulimia either! When you wake up the next morning and drink your coffee or whatever, there’ll be no poison! Because of your Christmas spirit, Santa has decided to spare you. Yay! THE END

34. I do not know Daniel Jackson, I do not know… Um, now that that Stargate moment has passed, I shall ask you one question: Did the people who ate your cooking alive?
-Yes, Go to 43
-Uh… Go to 48
-Define alive, Go to 45

35. Go conformity! I suspect it’s from the dollar rack, yes? Well, in your strive to conserve money, you have made your friends and family happy, thus sparing your life. Huh? I said nothing, NOTHING… So, um, yeah. THE END

36. Mint huh? Sweet.
-Santa will be pleased now? Go to 37
-If I give you these, will you not smite me? Go to 41

37. Yes, you will be spared this year. Huzzah! Good thing you chose what you did. For your loyalty, you get a Beebe gun. Don’t put your eye out! THE END

38. The west side is… empty? How problematic.
-To the store then, Go to 5
-No, I’m sure there’s something there, Go to 44

39. Don’t you need two people to move that thing? THE END

40. Well, you find yourself in Victoria’s Secret. Can you saw awkward?
-Let’s go back, Go to 29
-I’ll buy something… Go to 12

41. Me? If I was an emotional woman (That’s like, all of them) then I would slap you. But I’m not, so, thanks! For your gift, you get a “Make Your Own Adventure” game! THE END

42. You just had to pick the one on the bottom didn’t you? And while it didn’t kill or harm you (like a refrigerator would), you WERE trapped underneath a pile of plush toys. What do you do now?
-I will find my way out! Go to 50
-I’ll wait for help, Go to 46

43. I see no problem then. I say you give them as gifts. Just don’t give any to me. THE END

44. You spring a booby trap. Peppermint arrows fly out from the wall. What do you do now?
-Run REALLY fast through it, Go to 47
-Catch them with your teeth, Go to 52
-Retreat! Go to 14

45. No, zombies do not count. Can you say “Shaun of the Dead”? I guess you’ll need a cricket bat and some Molotov cocktails… If only you had a British accent to go with it, then you could be on TV. THE END

46. You’re trapped for days on end. They find your body in a month, filled with stuffing eaten because of starvation. At least you’re put in a museum and put on postcards. Let’s see King Tut best that! THE END

47. You… made it? Wow, I’m surprised, really. The problem is, you have no way of turning back. You pray to Santa to rescue you. A conveniently placed radio tells you that you’ll be saved under one condition…
-No way! I’ll find my own way back thank you! Go to 50
-Please just get me out! Go to 54

48. Get back ye foul beast! I say you drop cooking and forget about presents this year. Seriously. Not even the Cure of Santa would come under those circumstances… Who ever said not being able to cook couldn’t save your life? THE END

49. Nice. A gift just about anybody can love. Good work. THE END

50. You struggle, and it takes you days, but you make your way out. You’ve missed Christmas, but your family had been so worried about you that they by you awesome presents for not being dead. This includes a Garmin GPS system. THE END

51. A white snow settles on the ground and it’s the picture perfect Christmas. Until you and your sibling/ cousin/ thing play with your new machetes. It’s a major bloodbath. To top it all off, your neighbor had a new claymore (Scottish blade) which slips out of his hands, and despite the tremendous weight, manages to cut your dangling electric wires. Pure disaster. THE END

52. Are you serious? Those sharp projectiles pierce your cheek. Now the peppermint is even redder… Despite all this, you make it through, but a bit bloody.
-Keep on trekking, Go to 55
-Bandage up your mouth, then move on, Go to 47

53. Well, for your insolence, the Curse of Santa Clause is to fall upon you. Not sure what it is? You’ll find out… soon enough. THE END

54. You are enslaved into being an elf. Looks like Jolly Old Saint Nick is also a corporation. Maybe you should have stayed with household appliances… or Walmart. THE END

55. Well aren’t you a saint?
-Let’s just go shopping, Go to 5
-What of it? Go to 31
-No, not really, Go to 9

56. It’s called bloodloss. Let’s just say, death has never been mintier… THE END

Don’t like your ending? Why don’t you play again?

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This is a seqeul to "Can You survive a Boring Day?"

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