Drowning, verb

I found you in the starlight,
Beautiful Boy.
Face down in the water. Cold.
Your hair was long enough to float.
The blood around your head
was like a halo.
Beautiful Boy, you
(meant so much to-)
looked as though you had died
whilst in love.

The riverbank was slippery.
I (jumped, screamed, sank)
fell towards you and joined you
in your bed.
I touched your hair gently.
You were my
Beautiful Boy.
China dolls have nothing on you.

I was too afraid to check your pulse.
I didn't want to see your face.
I stood, silent, until
you moved. (How dare you?!)
I could only
(stop you moving, push-)
stare, and wait, but
you didn't move again.

The crushing cold stole your heat.
The currents pulled you slowly
away from me.
Beautiful Boy,
I will never forget your eyes,
(wide with fear, you-)
staring straight
(screamed and screamed)
at me. My
(Beautiful Failure);
tomorrow's only yesterday to you now.
That's what eternity means.