This Silence Is Deafening

This silence is deafening
Overwhelming
And I cannot hear
Anything

And when I breathe
I breathe syrup
Thick and sticky
Honey

And this is just like them
(The normal ones)
But slower; harder;
Like wading through treacle
Sickly sweet

(Fake and lying and oh so pretty to look at, glistening and glinting, beautiful in a lie)

And I cannot hear a thing
Over the roar of this silence,
The vacuum of a thousand brain cells
Shocked out of voice

And please let me breathe
(Quickly, sweetly, oxygen)
Just a little, a breath
Of air, suck in, breathe
With me, for me
(Because I need help, fuck, I need help)

I need help, I need help
But you don’t help
You never help
(You sit and smile and lie and never ever help, sanctimonious bastard)

And, my god, she’s in so much trouble
But I can’t tell her, she’s my friend
(I can’t pass judgement)
Who am I to do so?

“And you belong to me”
She wakes me up at night
She whispers to me when I sleep
(So I don’t sleep so she can’t talk to me
does that make me a coward, or a schizophrenic?)

Because this silence is deafening
And I can’t hear anything
I can’t hear anything
But Her