I have always been in love

(admittedly I did nothing)

Or in some form of infatuation

(admittedly it didn’t work out)

Or in some form of happiness

(admittedly it borders insanity)

But here I am at 1:36 am

With a long exhausted libido

and a plethora of unwrapped gifts.

Alongside crumpled Christmas paper my

Sister wrapped

For my brother and my father and my mother and me

That I haven’t yet thrown away

And my friends gave me a late night Christmas call

And a book on ninjas

And a Johnny Depp poster

And I love them so damn

Much

But for once in my life

I just want something more

Than the comfort of my friends and family

And unrequited love

And failed infatuations

(though insanity I don’t mind)

for I have never been

kissed

never been held

and I so desperately want to be wanted.