Summary: Say sketchy can be used to mean creepy. And then say I wrote a song about a girl and her stalker. Yeah, this is utter randomness.

Author's Note: Okay, so the formatting is all wrong. But Fictionpress doesn't support the correct one, so sorry anyone reading this. This song was meant to be read in three columns. The woman, the chorus (which is italicized), and the man. They chorus is continous throughout the whole song until we get to the end and it changes.

The S... S is the stanza splitter

See it all started one Tuesday Morning

when I saw him at the drug store.

He gave me the creepiest smile and

I was quite glad to grab my purchases

and get out of there…

S... S

I was taking a walk in the park and I see

the creepy guy from earlier. He corners

me and nags and nags until I, fearing for

myself, agreed to talk. He wouldn't let

me leave until six at night! I got there

at 11 in the morning…

S... S

I went to the bank to open a new account,

you know starting college and all and he's

there. I try not to let him see me, but he

does. He corners me and after a few minutes

I leave. Days later, I can't open my new

account. The pin was changed…

S... S

I was taking the bus home from dropping off

my little sister at the daycare and he gets on.

I move to the outside seat, but of course, he

sits next to me anyway. He starts to cover my

hand with his and these old ladies thought

we were a couple. Believe me when I say I

fought the urge to retch…

S... S

One day, I go out to get the mail and there he

is again. By now, I'm freaking out. He was

stalking me. He approaches me, tells me to

meet him for coffee, and promises that he'll

call me. How the hell did he get my number,

is what I wanted to know…

S... S

He was waiting for me. He demanded to

know why I missed "our date" and why I

hadn't returned his calls. That's when I

decided I had enough. I told him to come over

tomorrow so we could make up for that

missed date. He was in for a big surprise…

S... S

When he arrived, the plan was put

into motion. I led him to my bedroom to lower

his guard and then I told him I was going to get coffee.

I gave the cops waiting outside the signal and

then went over to my friends house...

S... S

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Sketchy Man

Sketchy Man

Very, very Sketchy Man

...

Our relationship began on Tuesday

October 3rd, 2007 at 10:05 AM

when she entered Duane Reade

on 48th and 3rd ave. The sun shown

in her eyes and…

S... S

We met for our first date at the park

On 69th street and 10th ave . She was a little

shy and didn't want to go through with

it but I convinced her otherwise. We

stayed there all day…

S... S

Coincidentally, she went to the bank

to open a new account. I didn't see her

at first, but then I noticed her signature

black ponytail. Of course, after we chatted

and she left, I had her pin number changed

to my name, so she would always remember it…

S... S

One day, she was going back to her house,

and she just so happened to take the same

bus as me. After I moved on the inside

because she likes sitting on the end, we sat

together for the whole ride, holding hands.

We even got compliments from two little

old ladies. Bless them…

S... S

I was walking along her street, contemplating

how to ask her out, when she went to get the mail.

We agreed to meet up later that day for coffee.

I promised to call her and she gave me the most

adorable look…

S... S

She didn't show up for the date. I assumed

it slipped her mind so later that week, after

she forgot to return my calls, I waited outside her

house for her to come home. Wasn't she surprised…

S... S

The very next day, she invited me into her home.

I sat in her bedroom as she went to get us coffee.

Funnily enough, she never came back. But then

these officers arrived...

They convicted Sir. Sketchiness. We have enough

crazies without him being out there on the streets.

S... S

We sentence you to life for being a very, very sketchy man.

I hope this is a lesson to all you men out there.

Don't be sketchy or else you'll end up like this guy.

S... S

I can't believe they convicted me. I will appeal.

Sketchy men of the world, unite!