KizzyBizzy: SOFIA!

Katetheshrew: What do you want?

KizzyBizzy: Can I get kidnapped by a sexy man in a big top hat?

Katetheshrew: Sure

KizzyBizzy: thank you

Katetheshrew: But you have to give me the address of where he takes you and his number and a shot gun

KizzyBizzy: how bout my bat?

Katetheshrew: okay that works

Katetheshrew: I'll add spikes to it :)

KizzyBizzy: or you could arrange for the kidnapping. with interviews and background checks

Katetheshrew: Okay

KizzyBizzy: follow him around

Katetheshrew: That works

KizzyBizzy: ...scary thing is, i can see you doing that

Katetheshrew: ... i could see it too

KizzyBizzy: heheheh

Katetheshrew: sorta like your arranged marriage

KizzyBizzy: perfect way to start a marriage. "hello how are you? mhmm. good...now if you'll follow me down this dark alley way and into this car..."

Katetheshrew: not quite like that…but i gtg, lunch is over.

KizzyBizzy: bye!

Katetheshrew has signed off

This is how it started…I think. At least, that's how I hope it started. See, I'm sitting in the back of a lovely car with three men, two of which could snap me in half like a pine needle. Strange how I didn't see the red flags popping up, if this is Sofia's fault. But I'm probably getting ahead of myself, if I'm going to record all of this, I want to do it right.

I'm Bambi "Kizzy" Bibby. I think my mum was drugged a bit too much when she was giving birth to me, seeing as she named me after a little boy deer in a very sad Disney movie. My friends call me Kizzy, something to do with me being a cat but not wanting to call me kitty. My hair is never the same color for more than two months, bad habit, and is currently cut in an asymmetrical poof that has a mind of its own.

Sofia and I are living together, splitting the rent in a lovely little house, and are fresh out of college. She's taller than me, who isn't, with fairly long white blonde hair. Strangely enough, she's got the temper of a red head.

On with the story now. She and I were talking during her lunch break, we always seem to be missing each other, as I go out at night and she works during the day. As soon as she gets off, the doorbell rings. It's Sofia's friend, and secret crush, Eddie. So of course I open the door to tell him she's at work and could come back later when she'll be home. Eddie tells me he has something for her in his car, a plant or something, but needs some help getting it out. So I, being a nice person, go to his car to help only to be pulled in by a hulking mass of muscle and getting a cloth tied around my mouth by another muscle mass. Eddie hopped in the driver's seat and drives off.

So here I am, with two options to believe. One, Sofia really wasn't joking around and got someone to kidnap me pretty damn fast (or had this planed as we've talked about this before), or two, Eddie is a creepy psychotic kidnapper with big scary friends and I could die. I like the first one better.

As I started debating whether or not I could take Thing One and Thing Two, the car pulled into a driveway leading up to a Victorian style mini mansion. Now I'm really confused. Don't kidnappers take you to some scary dark alley way or the docks or a smelly rundown house? Or maybe the outside is a cover-up for the inside and all its strange torture devices. I'll find out soon enough, Eddie just opened the car door for me. The muscles guided me to the front door, surprisingly gently.

The inside held no medieval torture equipment, as far as I could see, but a big screen television with a couple black leather couches and an arm chair of matching material. The walls were a light cream color with nothing on them but a few coat hooks by the door. The typical looking bachelor pad.

There's a man sitting on one of the couches watching a home cooking show. He turned around as we entered and smiled at the boys. Then he saw me and jumped up and ran over to the door, his brown hair waving behind him.

"Oh my god! Eddie, did you really have to gag her?" He took the gag off of me. "Honey, I am so sorry! They sometimes get carried away with their jobs, boys will be boys. Here, sit down. They probably roughed you up a bit too, didn't they?" He lead me to the couch he was sitting on before.

"Bambi, this is Fitzwilliam," Eddie said leaning against the couch.

"It's Jack!" Jack Fitzwilliam spat, glaring at Eddie.

"And the two muscle men by the door are Bizzo," Eddie continued like Jack never said anything. The black haired man nodded in my direction. "And Liam," the brown haired one nodded. "Sorry about the gag, it's standard procedure." He shot a nasty look at Jack.

"Hi, um…Eddie?" I know who everyone is now but that still doesn't explain why I'm here. "You kidnapped me because why?"

"You mean you don't know?" He let out an amused laugh. "Oh this will be fun!" He shouted in the direction of a staircase, "Hey, Robin! We're back."

Before I could ask who this Robin person is, I heard footsteps on the stairs. As a tall, shadowy figure emerged, Jack introduced me, "Bambi, this is Robin Hood."

I have a very visual mind, and when Jack said that, I saw Robin in tights and a tunic with a little green hat. Which is a very scary image seeing as Robin is insanely tall, tan, dark haired, and lets not forget he's almost as muscularly as Liam and Bizzo. Even so, it took all I had not to laugh as I said hello.

"Stand, please," was the greeting I got from Mr. Hood. He looked me over, and I started getting scared again. Then he nodded and turned to Eddie, "call Sofia and ask her to bring Ms. Bibby's things." Eddie left the room and I heard the beeping of a cell phone.

"Wait, so Sofia is involved in this?" My earlier fear was replaced by confusion.

"I'll explain in a moment." He walked over to the stairs, "Oi, Pirro! Put your laptop away and get down here!" He then plopped down in the arm chair.

Eddie entered the room and sat down next to me. "Sofia will be here with your things after she gets off of work."

I heard a pounding of footsteps above us and then on the stairs. The plodding belongs to a skinny guy so far as I can see, I can't see his face yet…He has bright red hair. Hair that would make Rudolf's nose jealous.

"I'm not always on my laptop. I could've been reading War and Peace for all you know." The one who I assume is Pirro said as he walked toward Robin and sat down in the couch across from me. Upon seeing me he introduced himself, "I'm Pirro. And you would be…?"

"Bambi. Please, no Disney jokes. I've heard them all." This earned me a snicker from Jack and an odd look from Pirro.

Robin cleared his throat, "Now that you two know each other, I think I should explain what's going to happen. Ms. Bibby, you will be living here as of now."

"What about Sofia? And the rent? And-"

Robin cut me off, "Sofia knows what is going on and we've taken care of the rent issue. This was her idea to start with, if that makes any difference." He turned to Pirro. "She will be living on your landing, in the other bedroom. The general idea of what everyone would like to see happen is you two 'hooking up,' so to speak."

"You've meddled before but this is going too far, Robin!" Pirro is almost as red as his hair.

Before I could voice my opinions, Eddie answered Pirro. "Look you, it's not just Robin. It's all of us who are worried about you. You never go out and at parties you keep to yourself. And Sofia's noticed the same thing in Bambi. We're not telling you two to go get married, we just want to see if we can help you two find someone."

"I don't know about him, but I go out lots." Which is true, I try to get Sofia to go with me but she never does. "And why don't we have a say in this? Maybe I don't want a relationship or maybe he's waiting until he hits thirty to go out and about."

"I am not! And no, Fitzwilliam, I'm not queer either." If looks could kill, Jack would be six feet under.

"It was worth a try!" Jack started to defend himself.

"Enough!" Robin's voice is no longer quiet. "Don't think we entered this not knowing what we're doing. There were months of conversing, meeting, and planning! We went through every possibility, did multiple tests on both of you. Miss Bibby is staying, end of discussion."

"What are you, the Godfather?" The way Robin talked and how the others acted around him made it seem like he's the head rooster.

He smirked, "something close to that. Now Jack, take Miss Bibby-"

I'm getting tired of that. Makes me sound old. "It's Bambi."

Robin looked at me, "Bambi, to her room. I need to talk with Pirro about tomorrow."

My room is on the second landing, on the other side of the hall from Pirro's according to Jack. It's a large room decked out in reds and purples, with a four poster bed by a window. All the furniture is made from a dark, polished wood.

"Like it? Sofia helped with the colors and stuff. She even brought some of your clothes!" Jack pointed to a door near the desk.

I opened it to find a good sized walk-in closet barley filled by what looks like most of my clothes. "This is a whole other room! All this…It's too much."

Jack ignored me and took out a few of my shirts. "We're going shopping tomorrow."

"What?"

"This is a beautiful closet. It deserves to be filled with beautiful clothes. You also deserve to have flattering clothes, the things you have now are barley passable, and I know the perfect store for you."

I'm a bit put out. "I like my clothes."

Jack didn't hear me, he just kept on rambling about stores and such. Now, I like shopping just as much as any other girl, but I don't have the money to go right now. That and I like my clothes just fine.

Jack was rambling on about the perfect jeans when the doorbell sounded. "Ah, that must be Sofia!"

Good. Now I can get my hands on that little scheming brat…

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A/N: Another story! This one will be much, much shorter than Snapdragon, I promise! And you can blame Jen for this . We had that instant message conversation, that's what put this into my head.