Sorry, it's short and sucks, Blah, Just review it!

Okay here's how I imagined this whole conversation to go, there would be a lot of, oh, ohmygosh, I'm so sorry, what happened? Is she okay? What I hadn't expected was laughter, no because no one, especially someone I call a friend would find the fact that my mom was in a wheel chair funny. In fact it just about the most fucking unfunny things I can think of. So I sat there in open mouth shock as Elli laughed. At my mother.

"That's your mom?"

I don't even know what I'm supposed to to say to that. I can't figure if I should hit her or choke her or do both at the same time. All I could do was mutter.

"That's funny to you?" I wanted to give her a chance to explain this to me, because I didn't understand.

"Your mom is quite manly."

"What?" I was actually surprised by the burning fury in my voice.

Elli, actually hesitated and looked at my face, I guess she saw my anger, because she stopped smiling.

"Aw, Matt I was just kidding. Your don't have to do the evil pout-glare of doom."

I am not POUTING, I'm furious- and confused.

"Don't insult my mother, it pisses me off."

"What? Matt that is not your mom."

Elli stared at me challenging my rightness as she pointed to a person I hadn't seen moving bags from the front steps into my house. I stared for about a minute as they bent over to pick up a beat up duffel bag and went inside. I couldn't tell who they were , because they were faced away from me.

"That's not my mom."

"What? Really? I just said that. So, where is this mother of whom you speak?"

"She over there." I pointed to the van, and watched my mother yell at Raphael, while he laughed.

"Um, Matt we need to take you to get your eyes checked. That. Is a man."

"No, that's her husband, she's kinda hard to miss Elli."

"Well I can't see her from over here! Don't insult my vision!"

"What?! You started this fight you grossly disproportionate midget!"

"Oh, you bitch ass mother fuck- where are my scissors?!"

"Bring it red-"

"I want to meet them." Mina said cutting off me off mid-insult.

"I don't, I'd rather continue our little, muhakooot ssecshiiiin." Kyle was muffled my the palm of Mina's hand.

"I want to meet them too." Elli growled dropping her bright green scissors back into her purse.

"Your banned from my property, remember. And why the hell do you keep those in your purse?"

"Oh, your dad just has a giant stick up his ass, I'll be fine. And you should know I keep all instruments of tourture close at hand."

"Yeah, your buying me a new favorite shirt."

"No I'm not!"

"You are!"

"NOT!"

"ARE!'

"NOT-RAWR!!"

"ARG-GRR!"

"Hey, bitches! Separate! Kyle off!" Mina yelled Just as Elli grabbed my shirt collar forcing our foreheads together.

"Mmm, nnn, fuuuuu!"Kyle complained as Mina pushed him off her person and growled at him

"Never again whore." Mina said flicking Kyle on the nose.

"But my face is lonely."

"Kyle needs luuuv." I sung

"Shut up Matt." Kyle hit my head rest before he got out of the car.

I still had smoothie all over my back so my shirt stuck to the seat a bit, which I didn't let Elli see for fear she would rip my face off and use it as a cleaning rag. I got out of the car and away from Elli, and I was greet with the familiar sound of my mother's shrieks of indignation and my step father's cackles of amusement.

"Ralph! Don't you dare put my bags on the floor, give then to me now! Don't laugh you demented bastard! I own you!" My father says me and my mom have the same temperament, me-thinks not.

My mom is more physically violent, no one's ears are safe form her wrath. I hurried up the drive eager to see my mom for the first time in a year.

"MUMMY!" I skipped up to her. Screw you, I miss her!

"Matt! Oh, hey honey. Get my bags form your Dad and kick him in the ass for me. He thinks he can get away just cause he has the ability to run."

"Raphael." I greeted.

"Step-son." He mocked, I might actually kick him for that.

"Idiots." My mom wheeled past us and towards the front steps.

"Oh, who are these people?" Raphael chimed motioning behind me.

I turned especially slowly, and was greeted with three beautifully executed glares. I hummed for a moment like I was searching for the answer,.

"Matt, don't piss them off, they look like their gonna kill you." Raphael stated with amusement.

"Oh, they wouldn't do that they love me."

"So, who are they?"

"A harem of faithful stalkers."

"Hello, nice to meet you all-"

"RALPH! STAIRS! EVIL!"

"I'm coming love!" My step father left me to my friends.

"What the hell was that?-" Kyle, murmured

"That is called Raphael."

"-I don't ever want to see you skip like that again." Kyle continued. I crushed his foot beneath mine.

"Sooo, Matt introduce me to him." Elli said pointing toward my house.

I looked over at the still unidentified person.

"I don't know him."

"You don't know him! Matt, I must be introduced to my future husband!"

"Wait I thought you were a lesbian."

Time stopped for approximately 3.2 seconds before Elli let out a howl of anger.

"YOU WHAT?!" Kyle had to forcibly remove her hand from her purse.

Mina, tried but failed to keep her laughter to herself, I joined her and we both laughed at Elli, the lesbian in disguise.

"Lezi! Lezi! Lezi!" I chanted as I ran in the safe direction of my house, Elli's threats of death fading off into the distance.

"I'LL KILL YOU! Yousupergayfreakofnature . . . chokeyouwithrainbowwristbands . . . cutoffyourdi-"

I promptly tripped over a big pile of bags stacked in the hallway. However I ran into something warm and soft and we fell down together so that I didn't greet the floor with my face like I was about to, but a mouth full of cloth can be just as bad. No matter how good it smells. The person I ran into shifted and my stomach rested nicely in between their spread legs. Please don't be Raphael or my dad or an angry clone of Elli. I stiffened as low laughter shook the soft belly my face was buried against.

"Comfortable?"

"Nooo." That came out more like a confused grunt, seeing as I failed to remove my face from the shaking belly and I was slightly confused, but I'm always confused so just ignore that.

I removed my face from the shirt and was relieved to find my self laying on top of a total stranger, never before has that been a good thing.

"Hi, you must be Matt."

"Sorry, yeah."

"Sorry? For what? You seem quite comfortable drowning in my belly fat."

I stared up into the boy's smiling face from my place in between his legs and took in to short coal black hair cut in a Mohawk style that ungelled, laid flat and soft looking on top of his head, He have bright blue eyes and dark slashes for eyebrows, one of which was raised at me as I stared at him in wonderment. I finally met someone as pale as me! He smiled down at me and his teeth were not quite straight, but super white, and he had a dimple in his right cheek.

"So, Matthew, I guess your really embracing your sexuality. Ian's gay too!" Raphael, cheered as I tried to hide my face which was not warm from embarasment, I swear it was pure anger that was making me look so red. Some one cleared their throat. It was Ian, I had shoved my face back into his shirt to hide my humiliation.

"Aww, I think I'll keep you." He ruffled my hair and then, HE GROPED MY ASS!

I jumped away from him and squeaked like a girl.

"Don't do that."

"Okay, we'll take it slow."

"No we-"

"MATT! GET IN HERE- PLEASE!"

"Coming!" I ran in the direction of my mother's voice.

"Bye, love." My tormentor drawled as he gave me a smirk of pure sexual evil.

I walked into the living room, and noticed my mother glaring at the large television.

"Matt, I hate your television, turn it on." My mom is not the best with techonlogy. It pisses her off.

I reached for the third remote that she wan't holding and turned on the T.V. She growled and tossed the other two away from her.

"Now go help unpack," I turned to leave and hide my smile at the same time, "Oh, and you and Ian are sharing room." I stumbled.

"But, but . . . why?"

"I decided it's my form of punishment for you sneaking out, Haha, Love you sweetie." Why is my mom so frickin evil, She's worse than my dad because she knows exactly how to kill your hopes and dreams, all while making you seriously uncomfortable.

"Liar." I muttered.

"I can hear you."

"I love you too mommy."

"It's too late for that. Go unpack." I groaned and headed to the front door. Evil motherfucker, Ew, wait I just insulted my mother and my grandmother. Nice.

Exactly ten miutes later I was on the floor with my hands wrapped around the throat of a very smug bastard.

Okay, no killing me allowed I know short chapters suck but I'm not really into this chapter, chapter twelve will be the best chapter yet! Because it involves a Threesome! Yesness! I have great love for it, it's just needs to be typed up. Grr.

Sexy scene will be dedicated to MisterScotty, Who deserves hugs for me sucking at reviewing. I have been gone!

Anyways I gots major Catch-up to do in the reviewing area! Yeah! I promise I have not been lazy with that, I just had no way to read your stories. (Pouts) I suck.

Lovely Reviewers who Make me so happy! Yeah! . . .

youLOVEamelia: I don't want to get rid of my suburban ganstas quite yet. Pssh and Matt is such a girl.

Kenya Bloodstone: Haters are everywhere, his mom will be more in the next chapter.

JtheChosen1: Thankies!

Quintessence-x: LOVER!!, (tosses self in your general direction) I decided Matt is going to be like my friend Robert when he wakes up. He is insane in the morning. Me too, I Like Matt's dad in the morning. Freshies suck! (with few exceptions). I Know way to many people like those "ghetto" kids (gags). Opps sorry another cliff hanger (sneaks away) So, I have some chocolate, inspire me to make more updates!

soulsucker : I hope your having fun neglecting me, whilst you sleep in.

Rainbowelectric: Woah, I already wrote a lengthy reply to that, and I don't think I have the brain function to do it again. So settle for me love.

Betray: Thank you, (offers candy)

MisterScotty: Thank you! I try. (Huggles)

Arashi Youkai : Thank you, (Kisses)

Dust Mowt : My favorite parts to write are the sex bits, (shame) Okay, lets go act them out! I will make it worth you while! Oh, Matt can come to, since you like him so much, but I get to be molested first!