Author's note: This is based on the song Things Left Unsaid by Disciple, for the full effect, listen to it as you read. You can find it on youtube.

Things Left Unsaid

I sat in the cold waiting room chair that ended at that aggravating place on my back that caused it to ring with a mild ache, the pain in my back though was the last thing on my mind as nurse after nurse rushed by the small waiting room tending to the various patents in the hospital ICU. My mind kept playing the accident over and over in my brain until I wanted to scream and yell and kick, anything to make it stop. Tears, dried and fresh, stained and ran freely down my pale face and tickled my nose before ending at my chin and falling to the dirty floor below me. I twisted and untwisted the fabric of my red sweater in my clammy hands and stared straight ahead, forgetting to blink until my eyes began to hurt. Images flashed through my brain causing a intense ache to form in the front of my head, slowly spreading to the farthest reaches of my consciousness and chipping away slowly at my last tread of sanity that I clung to for dear life.

I had jumped at every noise when I first entered the waiting room, every sound that resounded in the small room only added to the cold chill running through my soul and numbing me from the inside out. I was completely numb and I knew I was thawing because the evidence was running down my face in small rivers, in a race to reach my chin and get away from me the fastest.

Blood and small fragments of glass were the only things to comfort me now, my red sweater tinted darker in small splotches due to the blood; mine and Tyler's. Glass was imbedded in the bottoms of my shoes, my hair was a tangle of brown that hung limply in my face to try to hide me from the world.

Words kept filling my head, could I have stopped this? Is it my flaunt he's laying in there on that bed with a hunk of glass sticking out from his head and several broken limps?

--

Music blasted through the small sedan and I laughed at Tyler as he swerved the car causing me to scream and then more laughter. His jersey hung around my shoulders loosely and I ran my fingers over the large #23 printed in red, Tyler had scored the final touchdown to end the game between Cloverdale High and Beaksbend high and we were finally on our way home from the after party. I had had a hugh fight with my boyfriend after I caught him cheating and Tyler made a excuse to his girlfriend and we left, the tears that had been threatening to peak earlier were long forgotten as Tyler verbally re-enacted the game for me, play by play as only Tyler could.

"So, here I am, the ball and 9 seconds on the clock and I'm like, 'okay Tyler, it's all you' so I run past the defense, who might I add, suck at their job! And SCORE BABY!!" I laughed harder as Tyler punched the air through the open sunroof which was causing my hair to blow everywhere and tickling my cheeks which were rosy red from a perfect mixture of laughter and wind exposure.

The after party had gone great until I went to the bathroom and past a upstairs bedroom and spotted my 4-month boyfriend Jason kissing Kasey Sanddons, a cheerleader at our school. My body froze and then all heck broke loose, the end result was Jason yelling in my face before being knocked to the floor by Tyler who grabbed me, made a excuse to his girlfriend Lindsay and left. We were now driving home at almost 2 in the morning, on a dark road and laughing ourselves stupid, Tyler wasn't normally the kind to drink but I suspected he may have put back a few due to his unusually hyper state. Tyler and I had always been close, closer then most siblings, we shared jokes and fears and worries and crushes. We were inseparable, he being a senior and I a junior in high school we saw each other everyday and hung out everyday in and out of school. ha had always been my protector, defending me from bullies and putting my heart back together when it was broken. He was my hero, my protector, my brother.

I rested my head on the back of my seat as he recounted the game again from the beginning, adding different twists each time he re-told it. I laughed at the funny parts and giggled at his facial expressions as he described the opposing team as he defeated them one-by-one. Suddenly bright lights blinded me and I heard Tyler mutter a curse word as he swerved the car to the right to avoid the collision. I turned as if in slow motion to see the lights getting brighter, then, I screamed.

--

"Miss O'Connor? Madison O'Connor?" My head snapped up as a petite nurse entered the waiting room. "Y-yes?" I asked weakly as I stood, every fiber of my being tensing, waiting for her to continue.

"Your brother is stable again, but he took a pretty hard hit to the head... You can go see him if you like." I nodded numbly.

"Will he..." I stopped and breathed deeply before continuing "Is he going to be okay?" I asked softly, afraid of the answer as much as I needed it.

"Well, right now, he has about a 40-60 percent chance of waking up. I'm sorry, the odds are not in his favor." She finished softly.

I choked back tears and just thanked God he wasn't dead. I followed her back to a room and pushed the door open softly, the room was dark, only a small light was lit dimly above his hospital bed, casting small shadows on his face. I knew if he were awake he would make a comment on it being depressing in here, I wished he would wake up and say something sarcastic to let me know he was okay, say anything.

I walked slowly to the side of his bed and took his battered hand in my own and ran my thumb over the bruising on his normally tan skin that looked so pale right now, his nose was broken and his jaw was wired shut. Tears filled my eyes again as I looked at his face, his eyes were closed and he had a bandage around his head, dried blood staining the edges of his bandage.He had a cut above his eyebrow and small scratches marring his perfect face. I choked back tears and shook my head, he shouldn't be here, this shouldn't be happening, he should be smiling and re-telling the game to me, laughing and telling me I'm dating a jerk, he shouldn't be here, in this bed, his life hanging my a tread, the same tread holding my sanity together.

"It should have been me." I said quietly, knowing he couldn't hear me, but praying he could. I sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped my arms around him, laying my head gently on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. I closed my eyes and listened to the beautiful sound of it, the only thing showing he was truly alive besides the small rise and fall of his chest. I slowly fell asleep to the beat of my brothers heart.

--

Tyler died that night. It couldn't have been long after I fell asleep, the nurse came back to check on us and found me asleep, holding his hand, he had been dead about five minutes.

The car that hit us was being driven by kids from Beaksbend High, they were drunk, all of them. The boy driving lost control and swerved into our lane, Tyler swerved to the right to miss them, their car hit his side and knocked our car back 20 feet before both cars came to a complete stop.

I stood now in a black dress at his graveside, holding a single red rose, tears running freely down my free. His jersey hung loosely around my shoulders. I placed the rose on his tombstone and read the message on it again.

RIP

Tyler Matthew O'Connor

1991-2008

Son, Brother, Friend.

A/N: This was a hard one to write, I hope I did it justice. I can't imagine life without my bro. God bless you all.

Sarah's State of Grace