Boys Don’t Matter

He drove her home

Last Friday night

Another date

Another stupid fight

Yellow. “God, Gail, why couldn’t you have acted cool for once in your life? What was a little taste of alcohol gonna do to you?”

I hate that nickname. My name is Abigail, not Gail. I wonder if he knows that. Maybe sometime soon I’ll correct him. No one calls me Gail.

Red. “Absolutely nothing and I was right there! I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, god, what are you a prude?”

I continue to stare out the window. Raindrops hit the cool glass in what seems like a tempo, but I knew if I mentioned that, especially now, he’d look at me like I was crazy. Maybe next time it rains, I’ll tell Chance about it. Maybe another time like when I’m out of this ridiculous glittery shirt and short, short skirt and he seems like he’s in the listening mood.

Green. “Gail, sometimes I don’t even know who you are.”

I agree completely.

Tried to make up

Just one embrace

Slammed the car door

Slammed it in his face

I pulled up at her house, my anger slowly pooling out of my body. You can’t be angry at someone like Abigail for a long time. It didn’t really work. She’s always so quiet, so loving; you just can’t help but pick her up and hug her. That is, when she’s not being an idiot.

Stopping the car, I turn towards her already calling up my apology speech from the back of my brain, where always keep it stored. It was a memorized speech, which meant no flaws and no mistakes. But before I can say a word she opens the door and steps out.

“Gail, I’m sorry, honey, you know I just have popularity issues the size of Texas… and well, I’m finally in this year baby! They’re finally accepting me! Me being the first string quarterback might have something to do with it, but who really cares! Soon it’ll be just you and me baby, and we won’t have to worry about any of em.”

It’s raining outside, and she’s just standing there, giving me that blank stare of hers. Usually, this is the part where she cracks, gives a sigh, or some of other show of her breaking her walls kisses me on the cheek, and it’s over and done with. Another fight being tossed out the window because I dealt with it.

Her hair is slowly crunching back into the wavy tangles it usually is, instead of the straight honey hair it was at the party, and her bangs were falling in her face. If I were closer, I would’ve reached out and tucked them back behind her ear.

She looked up from the ground and locked eyes with me. Sliding off my jacket she had dug out of the back during the ride back to her house, she folded it in her arms, and then set it gently on the chair.

Abigail looked at me with sad eyes, and for the first time, I didn’t have a clue what was going through her head.

I wasn’t prepared for my quiet, loving angel to slam my car door in my face.

Now he’s running through the lawn

He’s trying to catch her before she’s gone

No more waiting by the phone

She’s not afraid to be alone

Boys don’t, boys don’t matter

She’s going out with all her friends

She’s starting to feel alive again

She said, boys don’t, boys don’t matter

I wonder what I did. Throwing away one of the most consistent things in my life was not something I should’ve done so lightly. But as I slid my house key into the lock, and twist it open, I realize that maybe this is a good thing. And if it isn’t… well… there’s always the nunnery.

He still hasn’t pulled away from my driveway. I’ve given him the time to come back, even though I don’t know how much good that will do to my already broken heart. But as I push the creak old door open, he steps out of his beat up pick up truck. I slide into the house quickly, but silently, and lock the door.

Within the next hour or so, there are multiple missed calls on my cell phone and door knocks going unanswered. The last knock of the night, though, I reached for the knob to open the door. As soon as my quivering fingertips touched the cold metal, though, they shot back to my body like they had been burned. Holding my hand to my chest, I took a step back, slid down against the stair banister and cried.

After a good cry, I made myself get up and make dinner for my family. They all eventually trickled home, even though it was close to midnight. First it was the eldest two, my older brothers, Joshua and Zachery, with my little brother Elijah.

Quickly getting bowls ready for them to eat the soup I made, there was an uncomfortable silence among our usually comic and uncivilized family. My brothers knew there was something wrong, and I knew they knew. It was as simple as that.

Joshua grunted while spooning his chicken noodle. “We bumped into Sara. She wanted us to tell you that you all had to hang out soon, cause she was getting lonely without you.”

A brief smile crossed my face. I had not hung out with Sara since before I started going out with Chance.

As usual, all three of them left me to clean up the dishes while they go to bed, probably tired after a long day of school, working, and hanging out with the friends. It was okay though, I didn’t mind. It’s not like they made a real mess anyways. Those boys hardly ate.

My daddy came home when I was putting the finishing touches on the now clean kitchen. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead. He made a quick sandwich, and proceeded to yell at the boys for staying out too late.

And least some things never change.

She’s been so hurt, he’s been so mean

Smacks her around like she’s a tambourine

It’s her time to laugh; it’s her time to sing

Now it’s her time to just try anything

Now she’s running through his mind

He’s wondering why she said goodbye

No more waiting by the phone

She’s not afraid to be alone

Boys don’t, boys don’t matter

She’s going out with all her friends

She’s starting to feel alive again

She said, boys don’t, boys don’t matter

I’ve given up on calling her. Obviously she doesn’t want anything more to do with me. And really honestly, I can’t say I wasn’t too broken up about it until today at school.

She walked passed me and locked eyes with me. I had smirked, confident that I had her again. Abigail had told me constantly that it was my blue eyes had always pulled her in, had always made her melt inside.

But when she shook her face at me, and went on to laugh at something her friend had said… it tore me up inside.

I bet you she’s just trying to avoid me for a while though. Her not responding my phone calls or not answering the door… I’m sure this is all a ploy to get me to feel bad. We’ll be back together before the end of next week. I can be almost positive. She’s like mush. She’ll do whatever someone pushes her to do. All I have to do is keep up my efforts. It’ll be fine.

Her mind is made up

She’ll let the memories lay there

With the mess he made there

And walk away

No more waiting by the phone

She’s not afraid to be alone

Boys don’t, boys don’t matter

She’s going out with all her friends

She’s starting to feel alive again

She said, boys don’t, boys don’t matter

Condoms. On my locker. Again.

Wow, the virginity jokes seem to be getting better and better all the time. They really are genius boys, the ones that go to my school. It’s amazing how they keep the C+ average all year around. Sighing, I peel them off and throw them in the trash can next to my locker… junior year is over. Maybe next year the won’t be able to find my locker. Maybe if I’m lucky. While cleaning out my locker, Trisha, the girl whose locker was next to mine, started talking to me, just randomly, about anything and everything. About how we thought that Zac Efron was cute but he could’ve lost the gap in his teeth when he was younger and how we wish we could me someone as sweet as Noah from The Notebook. You could tell she had been new this year, especially when she started asking questions about what I thought of the people in our grade.

“Wait… so you’re telling me you have no regrets of going out with Chance Jennyson! That’s impossible!”

“I don’t believe in regret.” I tell her calmly putting my last notebook into my backpack, “But I do believe in the phrase: I messed up now I learn from it. And besides, boys don’t matter.”

Disclaimer: I do not own Noah from The Notebook, Zac Efron, or "Boy's Don't Matter" by LoveSick Radio

Before I start on something about this story, I just want to say that LoveSick Radio is an awesome band and you should go check them out! They have two songs on iTunes, but you can listen to more of their songs on their Myspace. They should be coming out with a cd sometime between this summer and this fall.

Okay, well I would just like to ask you all a question. In this story, I tried to make Abigail's family seem religious, but not like super super sacred. More as in, they believe in moral values, and they hold true to them. Through the kids names, I tried to pick Bible names (Abigail, Joshua, Elijah, and Zachery). Through Abigail, I tried to show that she had moral values (i.e. that she wouldn't drink the alcohol because it went against the rules, and the virgin jokes). I'm not sure if that was really clear to the reader, but I kind of felt that it was an important part of the story, more of the untold part.

Well thank you again for reading! ---Brie