Shortstop
First Configuration
Part One
Spring 2007

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The final bell rings and I let out a sigh of relief.

I close the notebook I had been doodling in. See you later angry stick figure Conrad peering out of a closet. Sayonara adorable stick figure Audie mouthing expletives at a dropped ice-cream cone. Most regrettably of all; goodbye cloud nine stick figure Lindsey kissing stick figure Blaise.

Today Blaise is lounging in the seat where Tracey Stinehour—who is sick today—usually sits and I catch his eye discreetly before picking up my books. My heart beats quickly as I watch him smile out of the corner of my eye. I’m suddenly filled with an emotion—sparked by the image of Blaise’s golden eyes—that I find impossible hold on to for long enough to examine. Reluctantly I get up out of my seat and slip into the hallway leaving him behind.

Usually Blaise doesn’t come to school but when he does he always shadows me throughout the day. I’m always scared out of my wits that he’ll get in trouble for sneaking into my classes and skipping his own but he never does. Then again, sometimes I wish he would get caught, just so that I could watch him get in trouble. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he’s so good that the teachers don’t even seem to realize that he’s there.

I navigate through the crowd of teenagers, stealthily avoiding the asshole Conrad who likes to give me a hard time, and snort when I see Audie leaned up against my locker. He has a scowl on his face. I force myself not to roll my eyes. I wonder what’s gone wrong this time. Audie is seriously getting harder and harder to get along with lately. Maybe he dropped more than just his ice-cream cone last week.

“Walker is telling all of his little bitch friends that he’s still in love with you even after what he did to you last year and they ate it up like candy. What a pathetic attention whore,” Audie spits out and he looks like he’s just swallowed a lemon and puked it back up.

Immediately I’m fingering the reddish blonde hair that just brushes my shoulders. I can feel my face go blank as Audie watches my nervous fingers compulsively twist the hair into little spirals. I secretly wish that it were Blaise here instead of Audie. I know that Audie is my best friend, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t understand. Blaise already knows—omniscient boy that he is—that I still have feelings for Walker. He also knows that I want Walker so badly because he’s the closest thing I can find to another Blaise, but that’s not the point. The problem is that I haven’t been able to get up the nerve to tell Audie about how I haven’t completely gotten over Walker yet. Even though Audie is straight he can get possessive sometimes and when his green side shows up we always end up getting into a fight.

I imagine myself telling the Audie that I’ve nicknamed ‘Opa’ to take a hike to the Andes or something. No, Audie is not my grandfather. O.P.A. stands for Over Protective Audie. I have the feeling that Opa wouldn’t budge even if I screamed at him.

I need a vacation.

“If Walker’s in love with me then that’s his problem,” is my lame and delayed response despite the little bud of hope that’s growing inside of me. Maybe Walker and I might still have a chance. I need to talk to Blaise about it sometime soon but I’ve got to get home first. I nudge Audie aside and open my dilapidated locker.

“His problem? His problem? He fucked you over and now he’s playing the act of the wounded victim. I don’t see how you can go on without hating him,” Audie scoffs and folds his arms over his chest. I shrug and grab my backpack and some books.

“I do hate him.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him, I silently add. I frown and shut my locker with a bang. Audie gets a satisfied smirk on his face and he drops his arms to his sides. He gives me a hug and pulls back with a smile. Now there’s the Audie I know and love. Or at least a semblance of him anyway. He regards me as though I might have just lied to him but he loves me anyway.

“So you aren’t going to kick his ass or anything?”

“Does it look like I could?” I snort and he looks me up and down as we walk toward the large double doors at the far end of the school. He fakes taking some measurements of me.

“Tsk, Tsk,” he shakes his head. “Now that I think about it you are a shrimp,” his trademark grin slides out of the depths, back and bigger than ever.

“Glad that I could be your source of amusement for the day,” I throw back sarcastically and he lets out a short burst of laughter.

“So you’re coming with me to my appointment today, right?” he asks a little too casually once his laughter has died down and I narrow my eyes as we swing through the doors, out into the spring sunshine.

“I thought you were going to give me a ride home,” is my carefully constructed answer. He turns to me with large blue eyes and sticks out his bottom lip. He grasps my hands in his and holds on as though I’m the only lifeline that prevents him from drowning in a sea of teenage angst.

“I am! We’ll just take a detour to the mall. Please, Lindsey? I’ll be your slave for like a month!” he whines. I scratch my chin and pretend to be considering his offer.

“Throw in a free meal at Wang’s Garden and I’m in,” I chime after a moment of deliberation and with a ‘Yay!’ Audie launches himself at me in a tackle hug that throws me into the hood of the nearest car.

I jump when the car horn beeps and leaves me deaf for a moment. I look up and my heart stops in my chest. Conrad stares at me from the other side of the glass. The driver’s side window rolls down and I brace myself.

“Hey! It’s the crazy flaming faggot wonder with his nasty old hat and his lover ‘in the closet boy!’” His grin is malicious and I can feel Audie’s muscles tensing. Hell, I can feel myself tensing.

“Sorry Conrad,” my smile is fake and I back away from the front of blue sports car. Fuck, I so don’t need this right now.

“Not a problem. I’ll find a way for you to make it up to me,” Conrad’s handsome smile is toothy; all predator and no mercy. The engine suddenly revs and I feel myself being tugged painfully to the ground before Conrad is gone in a streak of blue, leaving only the smell of burning rubber behind. I find myself trembling and unable to process anything for a moment or two.

Audie gets up from the ground and hisses as he pokes a spot on his leg.

“That’s going to leave a bruise,” he cringes and peers down at me. Anger flares up on his normally mirthful face and I immediately try to hide the way that I’m still shaking. I’m trying to look something less like ‘terrified’ and more like ‘okay.’

“Goddamnit that guy is an asshole,” he curses but when he notices my blank face he trains his worried eyes on mine. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie as he helps me up and then gently trails his fingers over my face. My hands are twitching but I shove them in my jean pockets. I can feel the flush spread across my cheeks and I pull away. “I’m fine.”

He’s silent for a moment before his hand drops limply to his side.

“Are you sure?” he asks and his voice is laced with an uncertainty that twists my stomach.

“Positive,” I snap and wince as hurt fills his eyes. “Sorry. It’s just that you treat me like a little kid who can’t take care of himself sometimes,” I mumble. “I get enough of it from mom.”

“I know,” Audie’s voice breaks on the second word and he quickly turns away even though I know he wants nothing more than to hug me. But what else can one expect? He’s a touchy-feely guy with a socially stunted best friend. Sometimes hugs just make things worse.

I follow him silently to his car and allow myself a smidgen of self-pity. Today is definitely not turning out to be a good one but what else could I have expected? Life is just animated bullshit anyway.

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We arrive at the mall and things have been smoothed out between us as much as they’re going to be for the moment. I’m always amazed at how Audie and I can sweep incidents like that under the rug with so much precision and accuracy. Sure, we know that the problems are still there but they’re hidden under the carpet so it’s like they don’t really matter.

I just hope that neither of us trip.

I allow Audie to hold the door open for me as we enter the spacious mall.

“So are we going to Wang’s first, or your appointment? You never told me what time you were scheduled for,” I inquire and try to convey my stomach’s desire for Chinese food through my hungry green eyes.

“My appointment is in a half an hour or so but we’re going there first because I don’t want you to eat food and then demand to be brought home without having to pay for it.” Audie sticks his tongue out at me and drapes an arm around my shoulder. It’s kind of uncomfortable but I let him stay that way because it feels good to have someone close to me. If I try really hard I can imagine that it’s Blaise here with me.

“You know me too well,” I drone but let my amusement show in the slightest upward tilt of my lips.

“That I do. You want to look around a bit before we head to Sammy’s so you don’t have to spend too much time in the salon?”

“Sure, if that’s okay with you,” I try to shrug it off but I know he can see how relieved I am. The salon is one of the last places on Earth that I’d ever get caught in. I haven’t cut my hair in a year and I don’t plan on starting any time soon. I don’t care what people say about hygiene and split ends; no one touches my head, my hair, or my hat. It’s just the way things go.

Audie on the other hand practically lives in the salon. His trendy platinum blonde hair is streaked with blue and styled to perfection. Sometimes I wonder how the hell he found the dye that he uses. It matches his cerulean eyes perfectly. Hell, even his eyebrow piercing is that deep shade of blue. I would almost be jealous of it if I wasn’t sure that a hairdo or piercing like that would make me look horrid.

As we meander through the mall trying to waste time I catch sight of two promotional massage chairs and I drag Audie over to them before plopping down in the smelly, yet comfortable leather. Audie follows suit and lets out a big sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” Audie asks me after a substantial hiatus in conversation. I roll my shoulders.

“I was just thinking about how Conrad might be right about you. Being ‘in the closet boy’ does sort of suit your appearance, you know,” I tease and glance at him to relish in the predictable faux un-amused expression that I know will be on his face. Instead I find his blue eyes drilling into mine with a sort of fierce questioning.

“What?” he asks and his tone is anything but light and carefree. I fiddle with my ragged nails and frown. I’m kind of hurt by the way he’s reacting to this.

“No need to get upset. Being gay isn’t that horrible, you know. Having someone think that you might be gay isn’t something to take offense at,” I shoot back with a tint of ire and immediately regret it when his face tenses. He’s clutching the sides of the chair and his knuckles are turning white. I instinctively know that I’ve just said something I shouldn’t have. He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off, wanting to nip this in the bud as much as I can.

“Sorry,” is my hasty apology. I don’t want Audie to be mad at me ‘cause I hate it when we fight. “I was just joking about it because of how you spend so much time and money on your hair of all things. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

An awkward silence weighs down on us and I squirm around in discomfort. After a few moments of studiously watching people walk by I feebly break the silence by asking, “Does Conrad give you shit about it?” Inwardly I’m wondering how thin the ice that I am treading on has become. I watch Audie’s face flicker with about a dozen different emotions at once.

“Yeah, something like that,” he finally states and sinks back into the couch cushions.

“You gonna tell me about it?” I inquire cautiously, wondering if I should just stop now before things get bad. He doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

“We’re still having that sleepover after we hang out with everyone on Saturday, right?” he changes the subject with ease and it takes me a moment to accept the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about this with me right now.

“Of course,” I reply but a part of me sinks with the realization that Audie is keeping things from me. We always used to talk to each other about everything. He seems so distant right now and it almost makes me want to climb into his huge leather promo-chair and cling on for dear life.

Instead I simply get up and offer him a hand.

“Think it’s about time for your appointment?”

“Yeah, probably.”

He grabs my hand and with that we’re off.

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A/N: I’m redoing it now that I have the confidence that my lack of writing skills won’t butcher the super amazing plot too much. Sorry that it doesn’t end perfectly but this chapter was originally over 6,000 words and I figured that was a bit too much so I split it in half. And just to play the guilt trip on all you readers out there… my life is really kind of glum right now and I’m itching for some happy little e-mails proclaiming ‘FictionPress Review: Story: Shortstop.’

It would make my week. Promise.