A huge Spaztastical Thanks tooooooo:

Duuude (I'm sorry I injured your pride but I did update this before Taken Aback so...Does that make you feel better? I hope it does. Lol, I think the same way. Seven years of dying plus one year of internship and FINALLY you're a residence. But what does that friggin' mean after all the drying. I am a Torontonian but I'm more Bramptonian. Which would mean that we may not go to schools in close enough vicinities. Sad thought no? Glad you like Eric. I think he's my favourite character. And I don't think you're a stalker...xDD Thanks for the fun review, I loved it.)

Sara Olivia (Lol, cemetery kisses might happen but no sex. I am sorry. See Meri's comment for the reply to cousincest.)

Midnights Scream (You don't find it angsty enough...:( I'm trying but I think I don't want to it to be ANGST, more Angst...I'm not sure if I'm making any sense.)

Nightngale (Aiden appreciates your hug...I think. Glad you find Sebastian interesting. He's making his 'I CAN ACTUALLY TALK FOR MORE THAN TWO LINES!' debut next chapter.)

Meri (...THERE WILL BE NO COUSINCEST. I refuse.)

Esquirella (Thanks darling.)

:D Love you all. :hearts:

xx

Sick in the Morning

Chapter 4

xx

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

- Mad World by Gary Jules

xx

I don’t know when, since I didn’t go with him, but Eric bought my school uniform. It’s composed of a dark green, pine green maybe, sweater vest with the school emblem of a hawk, a white dress shirt and black dress pants. You also need to wear black dress shoes, which I conveniently already have a pair of.

It’s the weekend before school starts and I’m feeling nervous as hell. The week’s flown by somehow and all I’ve done is sit in front of the television. I don’t exactly feel like leaving the house. I went to the cemetery a few days ago and the weird guy was there. He sat with me for a while but left when it was getting a bit dark.

We didn’t exchange a single word and it’s beginning to feel rather awkward. Does he have to sit there, with me, beside me? Eric’s been preoccupied with Travis who seems to still be upset. I don’t really know. I haven’t seen him since his outburst at the cemetery. I feel sort of bad. He wouldn’t have come to the cemetery if it hadn’t been for me. God, I suck.

I’m watching some cooking show right now. The house’s empty. Eric’s out with his friends and his parents went to dinner at someone’s house. My aunt didn’t leave me any dinner so I resorted to nibbling on an apple. I haven’t even finished a quarter of it. I guess I’m just not hungry.

I’m not really anything.

I’ve stopped crying. Well, I’m crying less, a lot less. Now I just feel this void. I don’t know what to make of it but its there. Just there and I don’t like it because it’s just as painful as the crying. I’m hoping it dies down by tomorrow, since the day after will be the first day back at school.

But I don’t want to go. I told Eric I didn’t but he frowned at me and said I had to. I don’t know why I have to go but I can’t say that to him. He’s trying hard to make me feel like I’m not living under the roof of people who’d rather not have me.

I guess the real problem is that I’m nervous. I’m insanely nervous that when I get to school everybody’s going to know what happened and they’re all going to treat me differently. I’m nervous that I’m going to have no friends. It’s not like Eric and his friends have some obligation to keep me around them. I’d probably be a nuisance anyways.

I glance at the clock. It’s near eleven o’clock so I decide I should go to bed. After all, I’ll be going to school again in a day. Just as I get up, the front door opens. I grab the remote and turn off the television.

“Daniel he’s getting out of hand. Always talking back, lashing out,” I hear my aunt’s voice say.

I hear a grunt in response from my uncle who seems to be a man of very few words from what I’ve gathered in the last few weeks. I don’t know if I should walk out of the living room into the hall so I can go upstairs or if I should remain standing here. It’s not like I’m standing in the dark, the living room light is on so they knew that someone is in the room right? I don’t want to seem like I’m spying on them or something.

“And what’re we going to do with my sister’s son? She doesn’t contact me for years, dies and leaves me with her son. I’m busy enough as it is and now I need to keep track of one more boy,” my aunt says, exasperated.

I’m not sure what to say to the comment about my mum. If I’m such a burden, why not just throw me out? And how could she insult her sister like that? God, how does Eric take shit like this? I clench my jaw and walk out of the room, standing right in the middle of the hallway. My aunt and uncle are standing in front of the front door putting their coats away.

My aunt sees me and pales somewhat and I glare back. I stride to the stairs and smile harshly. “Evening Aunt May, Uncle Daniel.” I don’t wait for their responses and make my way up the stairs to Travis’s room. I didn’t mean to but the door slams behind me as I walk into the room. I just can’t understand these people.

My aunt’s this whiney bitch who doesn’t care about anyone but herself and my uncle’s too absorbed in work to care about anything. It’s a wonder Eric is still alive with the amount of attention they give to him.

I sink into the bed, head in my hands. I breathe in and out a few times, trying to calm down. I’m never any good when I’m angry. It would be so much easier if none of this had happened. I wouldn’t have to be an orphan living in a new town with new people who didn’t seem to want me (except maybe Eric) all the while trying to adjust and get over the mental images of my parents dying in front of me.

I fall sideways into the bed, my feet still dangling over the edge. I bring them up and close my eyes. I have one more day until school starts. The queasy feeling in my stomach doubles.

xx

“Come on Aiden, or we’re going to be late!” I hear Eric’s voice shout from the front door. I’m standing fixed in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. My hair's all over my eyes and I can't help but feel that everyone will know just looking at me.

God, I don’t want anyone to know. I just want to forget about it and stop thinking about them every living moment. I want to get out of this town and go back to my house. My house that has all the memories of them and me captured within it, my house where I was never once unwanted.

I close my eyes briefly, and breathe in deeply. When I open them, I look at myself once more before walking out of the bathroom. Eric’s standing in the doorway, my bag lying next to the coat rack. He gives me a smile, which I try to return but the nervous feeling in my stomach is only making me sick.

I grab my bag and slip on my shoes, deciding to tighten the laces up in the car. I walk out into the autumn sun which is surprisingly warm but I guess summer just ended so it’s not like we’d be living through the dead cold of winter already.

My uncle’s sitting in the slate grey family car, his expression as stoic as ever. I stumble over to the car and Eric opens up the back door and slips inside. I follow suit, holding my breath. There are just way too many butterflies in my stomach and I wasn’t even this nervous about going to school when I first started high school.

Eric’s staring out the window, his grey messenger bag resting between himself and me. I close the door and the car pulls out of the driveway almost immediately. I’m caught somewhat off guard but manage to put on my seatbelt. I bend down and fix my shoe laces and resort to staring out the window once I’m done.

Will this school be any different than my last? I honestly don’t know and I wish I didn’t have to go. I wish I didn’t have to meet people any more or at least not until after I could stop thinking about my parents. I think it’d be easier.

I sigh trying to get the feeling in my stomach to dissipate. Butterflies leave me feeling like I’m going to throw up. I notice that the car’s come to a stop and I look out the window. A classic sort of old building stands before me. I assume it’s the high school and can’t help but gape at the Gothic structure of the building. It seems very out of place in comparison to the rest of Rawford which is all modern, boring buildings. It’s actually rather beautiful.

I notice that Eric’s on the other side of my door and blush realising that I’m still gawking at the school. “Sorry,” I mumble to my uncle and get out of the car. I shut the door and he drives off. I watch as his car drives off and return my attention to the school.

“Welcome to the Montgomery Private Institution. There are a few more fancy words afterwards but I can’t be bothered. Read it off one of the many forms you’ll be getting today,” Eric says to me, a somewhat disgusted look on his face. I don’t think he likes his school very much. “Now come on, I’ll get you to your homeroom. Maybe you’ll have it with me or one of the guys.”

I nod at him and he starts walking forward, toward the front doors which requires going up a height of stairs. I climb and glance at the people around me. There are little groups everywhere with people whispering and laughing loudly. Eric walks me inside and my eyes settle onto the backs of his shoes. I follow him and turn when he turns; maybe I should watch where I’m going so I don’t get lost.

Eric’s feet stop and I almost hit him. I glance up and see that he’s looking at a giant list plastered on the wall. His eyes seem to have found what he was looking for and he smiles. “You have Travis in your first period class, got the same homerooms.”

I stare at him, confused at how he managed to figure that out but don’t say anything. But I think Eric figures out that I was confused because he starts explaining how the list works to me, “Every student in the school has their name listed on here and across from your name,” here he placed a finger on some name and drew it across the page, “is your homeroom. Which means that you can figure out whether or not you have people you know in your classes or not. And looking at this list over here,” he moved closer to me and pointed at a list that was shorter than the last, “tells you what room your homeroom is in and what teacher you have. You’ll get your schedule and other first day stuff from there. Travis’s in your class so I’m sure he’ll help you out.”

“Thanks,” I smile at him, butterflies and parents momentarily forgotten. “So, um, what do I have first?”

“Dunno, the name beside the homeroom isn’t one I’ve heard of before. Maybe she’s a new teacher. Or he for that matter,” Eric replies. “Anyways, let me take you to your class, ‘cause I need to get to mine before we’re both late for the first day.”

“Yeah…” I mumble, pretty sure that I look sick in the face.

“Aiden it won’t be that bad, trust me. Yeah the school’s filled with a few rich brats but if anyone messes with you, you should be assured that we’ll kick their ass,” he says, giving me a look that reads ‘Stop worrying.’

I smile, still nervous but feeling better at the thought that he wasn’t going to ditch me…I don’t know why I think he would have. I start to follow him again and he heads up a flight of stairs I follow. So I’m upstairs in the mornings. Watch me get lost.

There’s a couple standing in a corner of the stairwell, making out and I find it odd that I ignore it so well. I guess seeing this stuff at school everyday makes you immune to it or something. We head down a mostly empty hallway with a few students standing in front of doors talking away. I get a few glances and, oddly enough, a few smiles. I try to smile back but I think I fail at it miserably. I don’t really feel like smiling for anyone right now.

Eric stops in front of a door and I notice that it’s already open and that there are kids inside. He pokes his head into the room and I’m pretty sure he’s looking for Travis. He turns around and smiles at me, “I’ll see you at lunch, if we have it together but maybe we’ll have a class together so keep your fingers crossed.”

“Thanks,” I reply, giving him an awkward nod of my head, my nerves overriding my body completely. He gives me an amused look and walks off down the hallway. I’m assuming Travis isn’t in the room which means I’ll be entering it on my lonesome.

I step inside, hesitantly and my eyes immediately scan the room. There are a few students seated at desks in the front and they’re talking about something. One of them gives me a smile; I smile weakly in return and scurry over to an empty seat at the back of the classroom.

Just as I sit down a number of students enter the door. I guess it’s about time for everyone to be getting to class. I’m not really sure how the school’s schedule works. Eric had attempted to explain it to me but I think I was too busy staring at the way clouds seem to never rush into one another even on extremely windy days.

They filled up the desks rather quickly and I notice that the number of students is rather small. I guess that happens in a private school and a relatively small town.

“Aiden!” My head turns to the door and I smile, mostly from relief, at the sight of Travis. He has this giant grin on his face and I notice that he has a silver stud sticking out from underneath his bottom lip to the left.

“Hi,” I say as he sits down in the seat next to me. The desks have aisles in between them so that no one is actually sitting beside anyone.

“Nervous?” he asks me, grin still plastered on his face. I’m glad he’s not upset any more; I nod at him, tugging on a lock of my hair. “Don’t worry, Travis will protect you from the evils of the first day!”

I can’t help but laugh at this and I really do appreciate how nice he is. “Thanks.” He winks at me and then pulls out a notebook from his bag. It’s pretty thick and looks worn out. He grabs a pencil and opens the book to a new page. He starts to sketch I think. So he’s an artist?

“You, you like to draw?” I ask him tentatively, hoping he doesn’t feel that I’m prying.

“Yeah, it’s the one thing I’m good at,” he says, his grin turning into a thoughtful expression.

“I’m sure you’re great at other things too,” I say finding his statement a little hard on himself. He shrugs in response but I can tell my comment made him somewhat happy. I’ve noticed his eyes get brighter when he’s happy.

There’s a silence between us as I watch him sketch whatever it is that he’s drawing, glancing up occasionally to see that the classroom is filling up. There’s no teacher in the room yet, which I find a bit strange. I look down at Travis’s drawing and I can see that he’s making someone. A portrait of someone, maybe Ryan? “Who’re you sketching?”

“You,” he answers, flipping his pencil around to erase something. Huh?

“Me?” I repeat, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. I’m flattered but it’s a slightly weird.

“Yeah, you have very prominent features; it’s easy to sketch you except your eyes which are proving to be painful,” Travis muttered, his own eyes focused on his sketch.

“Oh,” I say, not quite sure what else to say. I think I’m blushing somewhat so I look away from him and stare at the front of the room where a lady in a light grey pant suit is placing a stack of papers on the front desk. I think she’ my teacher.

The bell suddenly rings and I nearly jump up in my seat. I guess the nervousness hasn’t dissipated completely yet. Travis hisses something inaudible under his breath and closes his notebook. The rest of the students in the classroom all take their seats but there’s still a lot of chatter in the room.

But that stops too when the PA system turns on and sends a high pitched squeak throughout the school. The class hisses and groans together and I shut my eyes as the noise hits my ears. “Ugh, they still haven’t gotten that fucking thing fixed?”

“My apologies staff and students,” a voice over the PA system says, “On a happier note, welcome to the Montgomery Private Institution new students and welcome back everyone else! Today’s homeroom will be fifteen minutes longer, meaning that your last period will be fifteen minutes shorter. The Start of the Year Assembly will be on Friday, during first period where all announcements on when clubs and sports team will be starting up will be made. Everyone have a wonderful day and homeroom teachers make sure you check your mailboxes for all of the administrative forms that need to be sent home.”

Well that was long. “Alright class! Welcome back to school and welcome to my class!” The teacher at the front exclaims, a smile on her face. “We’ll start off with the attendance so I can get to know your names.”

Hooray? Travis slumps in his seat and looks up at the ceiling. I guess he doesn’t like English…or something. I don’t really pay attention to her calling names but stare at the poster of a cat beside the door. I find it to be rather out of place.

“Aiden Moore?” my teacher calls and I raise my arm halfway into the air. She looks up, sees it and gives me this warm smile. Are new teachers always so happy? My teachers back at my old school were all crabby grouches and seemed to hate stepping into the school. At least that’s my opinion on the teachers I had had.

“Sebastian O’Connor?” My eyes widen and I sneak a look at Travis from the corner of my eyes. He looks bored. I guess he doesn’t really care that Sebastian is in his class. I mean he has been going to school with the guy for a while so he probably has to have gotten used to it right? But then why did he snap like that at the graveyard?

Maybe I should stop trying to cause myself a brain meltdown.

We spend the rest of the period getting administrative papers, comparing our timetables and discussing the breakdown of the course and what books we’ll be reading. The teacher seems to be excited and is defiantly new. I kind of like her, she’s nice and with my lack of experience with nice teachers (I exclude my grade three, five and six teachers, along with my grade nine geography teacher) it’s pleasant to have someone who’s so excited to teach.

Travis seems to dislike English, something about getting bad marks in it no matter how hard he tries. I tried to comfort him and tell him that a sixty eight really isn’t a bad mark but he rose his eyebrow at me as if to say ‘Oh really? And what did you get in English last year?’ Instead of answering his unasked question I grabbed my timetable and we figured out that I have lunch with him which is apparently always a good thing. That’s all I have with him this semester but next semester we have first period math together, third period biology and lunch once again.

Unlike my last school which didn’t have semesters, this one does. Two, actually and your eight courses get split up over them. I sort of like the style, means less work but longer classes. Guess you can’t win them all.

What I found even stranger is that Sebastian didn’t show up for class. We’re nearing the end of the period and he’s still not here. I’m not sure why I’m so concerned but it’s incredibly irresponsible to be late on the first day, no?

“Well guys, make sure you get all your forms signed by your parents and tomorrow I’ll distribute your books.”

It’s almost funny how the strangest things bring everything you’ve momentarily forgotten rushing back to your head. In my case, administrative forms.

I feel my heart sink, and the smile on my lips from Travis’s latest crack about the English books we have to read slips off.

And the words just scream through my head. I DON’T HAVE PARENTS. Over and over again. I swallow, hands turning into fists. I almost want to yell at the teacher but it’s not like she knows. Or maybe she does. I mean the school probably knows that I’m living with my relatives because my parents just died. Right?

God, it hurts. It’s stupid that it still hurts. It’s been a month hasn’t it? One fucking month, I should stop feeling so miserable all the time.

I feel a hand squeeze my hand which is still in a fist. My head snaps upward, away from my desk toward Travis. I see concern in his eyes and sympathy. The thickness in my throat seems to disappear. Its strange how knowing that someone’s there for you makes you feel better. I think I’d still be crying if not for Eric.

“It’s alright, Aiden,” Travis whispers so that only I can hear him. I nod slowly, as to say that I know but fuck. It really isn’t okay. It’s not okay that I don’t have my fucking parents any more all because of some driver who really shouldn’t have had their license in the first place.

A bell rings, signifying that our class has ended. Everyone in the room gets up and starts to head for the door. Travis removes his hand and does the same. I sit in my seat for a bit, gathering myself and stand, bag over my shoulder. Travis smiles at me but I don’t, rather I can’t and I think he knows because he continues to smile.

“Come on, I’ll take you to your next class,” he says and heads for the door like the rest of my classmates. I follow, hands clenching and unclenching. My mind seems to wander, going back to the accident, going back to the night before it all happened.

“Aiden, I’m home!” I hear my mum call from downstairs. I had just stepped out of the washroom and I’m surprised that she made it home before seven for once. I glance at the clock in the hallway; it reads five minutes to six.

I can’t help but smile. She’s always kept busy by work so it’s nice when she gets home early. That and I get real dinner rather than whatever I can find in the fridge that looks edible.

“Hey Mum,” I say as I jog down the stairs. She gives me a wide smile and I lean forward and place a kiss on her cheek. It’s sort of a habit now I guess.

“Come on, your Dad promised me he’d be home by seven so if we make dinner together we’ll have it done for him,” she says, heading toward the kitchen. I notice that her briefcase is sitting on the floor, pick it up and place it in the living room before joining her. I know how much she loves it.

“What’re we having?” I ask, sitting down on a stool at the kitchen island.

“Chicken and rice?” she asks me, hands underneath the water faucet.

“Sounds good to me,” I reply, glad that I was getting good food. My mum was a good cook; she just hardly got a chance to.

“Alright,” she smiles. “How about you make the rice and I can get started on the chicken?”

“’Kay,” I answer, sliding off of my stool and heading to the cupboard where we keep the rice. We spend the next hour or so talking about how her job is and how much she hates her boss. I really love hearing her when she’s talking trash about her boss. It’s always amusing.

“And then he tells me ‘Eleanor, you need to put it together.’ As if I’m the one who needs to get my act together! He’s the one coming to work late and screwing his secretary when he needs to be working! Worthless ass!”

Did I mention that my mum swears very openly in front of me? I think she knows I won’t pick up on that habit of hers, especially since dad is so vehemently against swearing. He’s a psychiatrist and he’s told me and my mum many times how horrible it is to ruin a child’s upbringing by using vulgar language. I never really got the connection but to keep him happy I refrain from using anything derogatory.

I laugh, “Are you sure about that screwing? I don’t think he finds his secretary that appealing.”

“Who doesn’t find their secretary appealing?”

My mum’s face turns scarlet and she quickly ties to compose herself. I laugh some more, turning around and giving dad a grin. “No one special.”

“I bet,” he smirks.

“Of course not,” my mum adds, spinning around. My dad walks over to her and gives her a kiss. I know this is going to sound childish but I still find that to be gross. I look away and stare at the rice cooker. The rice is done but I kept it in the dish to keep it warm.

“How was work?” I ask him, hoping that they had stopped smooching.

“The usual,” he replies. “Mr. Donzel is still his usual charming self and Ms. Beeching refuses to explain to me why she nearly burnt her sister’s house down.”

I arch a brow at him and my mum snickers. She’s placing the food on her table and dad’s washing his hands.

“Donzel really needs to stop being so insufferable,” my mum comments, placing her cooked chicken in the middle of the three plates.

“I’m sure he can’t help it,” I say, sitting down at my seat. “It’s probably in his genes.”

My mum laughs and I’m pretty sure my dad’s trying not to snort or laugh. Not sure which. Donzel’s probably the most narcissistic, egotistical and absolutely obnoxious person one can meet. That is until you meet his father. I’m not sure why my dad keeps trying.

We eat dinner, making conversation and I like it. I like spending time with them. They’re not that bad.

It’s a pleasant memory, one that I can think back on and smile at but it’s painful. They’d been so happy, we’d been so happy and the next day it all ended. Just like that. Maybe that’s what gets to me the most.

How easy it is for anyone to die.

xx

...I'm hoping this was less emo than the last chapter...and I'm not sure if it has more action or not...:cough: You tell me with a review, yeah?

Oh and to those of you who are America, in Canada we do not call ourselves freshmen, sophomores etc, but just go by our grade. And I'm basing all this school stuff off of my school so don't hate me if that's not how things roll in yours. Please.

- An Eccentric Caffeine Addict

P.S. Mad World is the angstyest song that ever existed. Go listen to it! Gooooooo.