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A/N: This posting is for a friend, Chelsea, who is in my creative writing class. A hilarious little fractured fairy tale. Please r&r! She’s never had a story posted before and I know she’ll appreciate it.
“Ma, I collected fourteen acorns and Peanut didn’t collect any! Ha ha!”
“Brownie! Don’t be rude”
“I’m sorry Ma.”
Peanut felt really sad and went to his room. He plopped down on his bed made of leaves and flowers. He wanted to think of a plan to collect the most acorns in the family. There were many things he thought of, but one idea stuck out more than the others. He would go into the woods with Pa and Brownie and then would depart into a different part of the woods. He knew the woods very well so this wouldn’t be very hard. In the woods there was a fork in the path. The three squirrels always went to the left, and the next day they went acorn hunting, Peanut would simply sneak to the right. The only problem was that Pa had never taken them to the right before to collect acorns so Peanut did not know whether or not there were acorns around there. Peanut only knew his way around because Pa’s best friend Woodchuck the beaver lived around there.
The next day came and on the food calendar for the day was acorn lasagna so this would be a perfect opportunity for Peanut to collect the most acorns.
The three squirrels set off. They passed the usual group of bunnies, the blue bird infested tree, and then they got to the deer den which was the last landmark before the fork in the woods. Quickly, Peanut thought of a diversion then he yelled “Pa look!” and Pa and Brownie looked intently down the left side of the path while Peanut scurried quickly down the right.
The path was nice, but Peanut would have to travel much deeper if he wanted to get some acorns. He walked and walked until finally he found a beautiful tree filled with acorns. Peanut got a whole load in the small brown bag he was carrying. At least thirty acorns; which was more acorns than Brownie had ever gotten. Peanut was so excited that he ran to find Brownie and Pa as fast as he could. But halfway through the trail back, Peanut stopped dead in his tracks to see a woodpecker standing not three yards from him. Woodpeckers and squirrels never got along because the acorns were precious to both of them. The woodpecker crept up slowly on Peanut and said in a most evil voice, “What’s you’re name and what ya got there?”
“M-m-my name’s Marcus and this is j-just some old rocks for a house me an’ my brother are building.” Peanut lied.
“Well it smells an awful lot like acorns.”
“Are you sure you didn’t mistake some rocks for some acorns?” cried Peanut
“Can I look in your bag and see if you have any acorns hiding around in there?”
“I’m sorry Mister-”
“Chuck- Chuck’s what they call me”
“Well, Mister Chuck, I’m sorry but this is just some old rocks, but I know a place where
there are plenty of acorns for you to enjoy”
“Don’t test me! I am one of the best woodpeckers in these woods! Skilled in the finding of acorns! I know places where I can find them. But, you tell me, would it not be a waste of time for me to go further into the woods for acorns when I can just get some from you here?”
“But I told you! I don’t have any acorns, just rocks.” Peanut tried to explain but he knew the woodpecker wouldn’t be fooled.
“You’re lying! I know the exact scent of the acorn. I know exactly how far I am away from an acorn at all times. I guess it’s just one of my many gifts. Right now, I am exactly one and a half feet from an acorn and there are no acorns anywhere…to be seen. In that case it has to be in your bag. Now you could politely hand them over to me or I could call in my flock of fellow woodpeckers, as they are very hungry, and they would be happy to get them from you.” Chuck explained as Peanut began to grow very scared.
“Well how about this. I was going to try and convince you more that these are merely stones, but you’ve obviously figured out that I am lying to you. So how about a compromise? I could split the amount of acorns I have found with you. That way we would both be happy.” Peanut said.
“Well that sounds like a good idea except for the fact that I wouldn’t get nearly enough acorns for my whole flock.”
“I found these acorns myself and I need them for my family. Don’t you think I deserve them?” Peanut asked.
“No. You are merely a child and I need them more than you. My whole flock is counting on me. They need them.”
Then from the trees above came a “whoo.” Peanut and Chuck looked up to see where the noise was coming from. An owl came out and sat on a visible lower branch.
“I’ve been listening to you for quite some time” said the owl.
“Urgh, hello George.” Said Chuck in a low unpleased tone.
“I am most disappointed in you, Chuck. You are trying to pry a bag of acorns from a child’s hands. That is cruelty if I’ve ever seen it. In all my years of knowing the unpleasant things you are capable of, trying to deprive a child of something that he worked for is madness. You’re teaching this child that mere laziness is the way to get what you want.” Chuck rolled his eyes “That should not be the case.” George went on. “Here in the north woods, unlike most, it is usually peaceful. If you want to cause problem, go to the west or the south woods. Now Chuck I suggest you go home or maybe I could refresh your memory as to what we owls are capable of. Young squirrel, go home, enjoy your acorns.”
Chuck flew away and Peanut ran home as fast as he could. He arrived home to see his whole family happy to see him for they were worried and didn’t know where he was.
“I got thirty acorns! Look!” Peanut was very excited.
Brownie groaned while Ma and Pa laughed in excitement. With the amount of acorns collected be both Peanut and Pa and Brownie, they wouldn’t need to go hunting for more tomorrow. And the family lived happily ever after.
