A/N: This is my first non-humorous submission to the site, and I hope I got the format right. All the information should be there, scene direction in italics and parentheses, etc., etc...

Please review this piece, and if you have the time, look at my other stories on the site.

Enjoy!

Characters:

Laura - Late 20's to early 30's, level-headed, mentally older than her ex-husband.
Craig - Late 20's to early 30's, currently unemployed, life hasn't been very kind.

(Scene opens with Craig–he looks tired, ragged, and worn. He is sitting down on a chair with his briefcase next to him. He picks up the phone and dials a number. It rings, and he gets through)

Craig: Hey, Jake? Um, yeah, it’s me again... no, no, please, hear me out! Yeah, I’m trying! Look, please. It’s just one more week. I couldn’t get a job. Yes, I promise I’ll pay you back when I have the money! (Long pause) Alright, alright... I promise. Thanks. Look, the kid’s here this weekend, why not bring your little girl over and we can hang out? Oh. Hah, no problem! No, no, it’s alright. Women, right? Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Alright, see you. (Hangs up phone.) Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em... (Calling to other room.) Good news, kiddo! Your Uncle Jake agreed to pay for our meals this weekend. Again. (He goes over to a bottle of soda, half-empty (or half-full?). While he is unscrewing the top, there is a knock at the door) Hang on!

(He puts the soda back down, and answers the door. Craig looks disheartened and walks away.)

Craig: Dammit...

(Laura follows him in)

Laura: Hey, Craig.

Craig: (with venom) Hey, you.

Laura: Animosity isn’t going to get us anywhere, you know.

Craig: I know, I know... today’s just not the greatest day.

Laura: You know, you could always come work for me.

Craig: Thanks, but at least my current job gives me some sense of decency.

Laura: Yeah, I bet “unemployed” is a hit at the parties.

Craig: It’s either that or “my ex-wife robbed me of my money, my kid, and my job opportunities.” I’m doing you a favor.

Laura: You didn’t pay your child support this month, Craig.

Craig: Oh, so that’s why you decided to stop by. And here I thought it was because of my charming disposition.

Laura: It’s important that you pay it, Craig.

Craig: Look, I’m sorry, but at times it seems utilities and running water are more important than paying my ex-wife for a child I only see twice a month.

Laura: Nothing should be more important than your child!

Craig: What is he doing with that money, Laura? He can’t use it, he’s three! Let’s guess where this money is going, shall we? That’s a beautiful blouse you’re wearing. I like the skirt, too. I’m betting these things were part of May’s payment. I heard about the addition to your house... April and January, I’m guessing? And that beautiful new car... Merry Christmas, that must’ve been December.

Laura: That’s not true!

Craig: So, I’m paying money monthly for things you want, not a child I’m supposedly helping to raise!

Laura: Don’t think I’m forcing you to pay because I want the money, I don’t. I could care less about the meager sum you’re forced to pay.

Craig: Meager? That is total bullshit!

Laura: Craig! He can hear you!

Craig: Let him hear! There are some things children should learn early, like how women will rob them of everything and keep it for themselves!

Laura: This money isn’t for me. It’s for your son. Maybe if you reevaluate your priorities a little more, you’ll understand that the check you write is for someone else’s well-being. You still have a son to support.

Craig: One that I never see? I shouldn’t have to pay to see a child. I shouldn’t ever have to pay to see my son! I’m supporting an invisible boy!

Laura: Maybe I’d let you see him more if you didn’t do so well to consistently disappoint me! You’re completely irresponsible, and what’s more, you still only think about yourself.

Craig: Myself? Laura, I think about everyone but myself. If I gave one ounce of thought to myself, do you think I’d live like this? Do you think I’d look like this? Everything I do, I do for others, especially that boy. I’d give my life for him if need be, but I don’t do anything but continually disappoint people. I’m completely in debt to my best friend. I can’t hold down a job because when people ask me why I was fired, I can’t give an answer that wouldn’t make me look like a complete idiot. I was able to successfully get my wife, who once gave to me a bond symbolizing eternal love, to stop loving me. Isn’t that sick? And worst of all, I disappoint my son on probably a daily basis. Do you know how hard it is to live without money? Call me a capitalist, Laura, but without money, life sucks. Everyone says that money makes the world go 'round, but it’s different for me, I use money differently. I don’t use money for myself because money is useless to me. Where I am now, you learn to maintain yourself without money. What money is useful for is for giving to other people. Giving other people what they deserve. If I could, I’d buy Jake that pool table he can’t get because he’s always lending money to me. If I could, I’d buy you that rare .45 you always look for, by that band that only you know because you’re a total dork. If I could, I’d buy our son the moon, Laura. No, I wouldn’t stop at the moon. I’d buy him the universe because he deserves it! But I can’t. I can’t even buy him an action figure. Do you know how hard that is? Well, no, I guess you don’t because you have the money to afford all the things he deserves, but I do. Last year at Christmas, I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said he wanted a rocket–this toy rocket we found in the store, with little astronaut men who could get inside and go on adventures. “Can you please ask Santa to bring me this rocket, daddy” And the rest of the year whenever I tucked him in for bed, he kept reminding me. “Don’t forget to tell Santa about my rocket!” and each time I’d respond “I sent him a letter, I’m sure your rocket is in the factory right now.” and the smile he’d get on his face would be unbelievable. And then when Christmas finally came... no rocket. And when he asked why, what was I supposed to tell him? That his “daddy” is a broke chump who can’t even buy his son a rocket for Christmas? That his “daddy” is a liar and that he should know better than to trust me? No... I couldn’t tell him that. I’ll save that talk for when he’s old enough to know what a failure “daddy” really is. Hey, you know as well as I do, maybe you could tell him for me, Laura. That way, at least it will be coming from the parent who knows how to raise a child.

Laura: Craig...

Craig: Look, I’ll get you the check right now... (Craig goes to find his checkbook, he does, and opens it.)

Laura: Craig, wait...

Craig: To the order of Laura... do you go by your maiden name now, Laura?

Laura: Yes, but wait...

Craig: (finishes writing the check) Um, you may need to wait a few weeks or this check might bounce. It’s hard for me to tell by these numbers... you were always better at balancing the checkbook.

Laura: Well, if it’s any consolation... you were always better at watching the dog.

Craig: Alright. Here’s your money. (Tears the check out and gives it to Laura) I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.

Laura: Craig... if I were in your place, I don’t think I could have done it. I don’t think I’d have lasted.

Craig: Oh, and I added a little on the top for a rocket ship. Make sure he gets it. Tell him Santa forgot it on his last run.

Laura: Thanks.

Craig: I’m sorry you see me like this... but, I mean, this is every day for me. I wish I had more to give, but I really don’t. I mean... surviving like this. I have a tapeworm in my wallet. It’s no medical problem, but leeches suck you dry in other ways. Surviving a medical problem might be easier than this, because doctors know how to fix problems with medicine. What they can’t fix is a broken man, especially if he broke himself. And I guess... this kid is the only thing that’s letting me hang on. When I fail him... I’m trying to survive being a failure. A failure as a husband, a failure as a father. Um... I’ll try to be more up-to-date on my payments later. I’m feeling lucky about my next job interview!

Laura: If you’d like an extra reference, tell me.

Craig: Oh, yeah, “Craig is completely irresponsible with money. He lost the gift he was going to give me for our first anniversary. The first time we had sex, he cried.”

Laura: By the way, your son said that he couldn’t wait for this weekend. He said he a had a whole lot of stories to tell his father.

Craig: Oh yeah, we’re having a great time. I have all sorts of plans.

Laura: Like what?

Craig: I don’t know... I’d like to take him to the zoo. He likes flamingoes, has he told you?

Laura: Only everyday. (They both laugh)

Craig: Well, hey, if you’re not busy, maybe you could come along.

Laura: I’d like that.

Craig: Alright, great.

Laura: But I think it’s about time I left. I’ll see you later.

Craig: Yeah, see you. (Laura heads for the door. Craig, looking at his checkbook, realizes it needs work, so he sits down and begins looking through bills. Laura lingers for a few moments.)

Laura: By the way, I was tucking him into bed a couple nights ago, and he told me about a rocket he wanted. I asked him if he wanted me to buy it, but he said “No thank you, mommy. Daddy says that he already asked Santa to bring it for me, and that means it’s coming for definitely.” Have a good day, Craig. (She leaves. Craig sits a moment, then stands up and starts walking to the next room, while saying...)

Craig: ...hey kiddo! You know how you told me you liked flamingoes? Well, I had this idea...