You made me feel pretty

And wanted.

You made me feel nervous

And complacent.

Thank you.

I feel like I have the power

To crush people under my heel.

Is that confidence?

Or is it arrogance?

You awoke it in me.

I’ve been thinking of lines.

Yours, mostly.

How I’d love to trace them

And hear them

Again.

But I start thinking about myself

And I realize I’m lacking.

I’m afraid I don’t deserve you.

I shake in your presence

And avoid eye contact.

Sometimes I think

The only things holding me together

Are your arms,

Crushing me back

To sanity.

Maybe I am sick.

Maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am.

Maybe I should be easier on myself,

Lighten up,

Give myself a few compliments.

But maybe I’m right.

Oh God, I could be right.

No one should have to know me

If I am

Who I see.

Those thoughts

Never appear

When you’re near.

I take care

To hide them.

Scars of old doubt

Mistakes I don’t regret

Are carefully covered

With cloth

And a smile.

I just want to be loved

Without any worry.

So if I deceive you,

It’s to keep you safe

From concern.