Today is ugly, exhausted

I don't feel like writing,

My muse ran out on me

With someone else--more charming--

I won't write today! numb,

words on a page look crass,

creativity absurd, crude laughter

steals my soul--

surprising levity in extreme,

lock me away from the world--

I see ugly, and do not see at all

green grass underfoot, winter bareness

stretching out grabbing the horizon, cold embrace

thrilling on other days--

gray ice, green earth, dirt, birds, song--

especially you--oppress me,

If I let you into my soul today

I could show you the parts and pieces, fragments

of my mind that hate you

want to wash you, whoever, out---away--

Down--fathoms separate us now, and I

breathe and breathe and breath

Easily, gag removed--

I laugh at horror, recognition of resentment keen,

taking pleasure in my muse's infidelity--

I won't write for her, myself, or anyone else today.