Contemplating Suicide

Sitting here before this fire,

wishing it was my funeral pyre.

Wishing I was the dearly departed.

Wishing my sins were easily pardoned.

Knowing my love was all for naught,

my pain you so easily wrought.

This blade pressed tight against my skin.

Though I know in the end reason will win.

So why do I still yearn the cold embrace?

A knife in my heart a bullet in my face,

either would put me away, put me to sleep.

If I could just find the courage, take the leap.

My world is tilted, fallen on it's side

as I sit here contemplating suicide.