close your eyes and you're
not nearly as pretty
(it's almost bearable then)
i think i know you well enough
to believe
there might be fire under all out smoke.

is this what love is?
real, soul-searing, heartattacklove?
because i think of you every day,
despite my best effort.
and every time you cross my mind
my knees get weak.

and each time i imagine your face
with that soft smile-
the one that makes me want to die
(for you)
- i feel my heart wrench in my chest
for what could've should've would've been.