October 10, 2007

The Prelude To Love

I quietly steal glances while I am sitting next to him. He would never know that I was looking at all, so I continue to observe him so that his image would be forever etched into my memory. So many moments and precious recollections of he and I fill my head. All of our transpired experiences are significant, but one moment (actually two moments) stands out the most- the moment when our relationship began.

The day was Thursday, November 3rd, 2005, the day before the highly anticipated Van versus Lindale football game. Phillip is his name, and he and I had been friends since Junior High School but had only just recently reacquainted during his freshman year. He had the most beautiful red curly locks that I just had to run my fingers through (even now I cannot resist) and a brilliant pair of hazel eyes that shift colors with his mood. He had a heart full of possibilities and the full capability for knowing love and understanding the true dignity of others and me. Phillip was a smart young man with incredible potential for everything that he could ever want to accomplish in his life. He was a member of the Boy Scouts of America, his church’s Youth and Adult Choirs as well as a straight A student. When I was near to him, I felt as though I truly belonged, and I quickly found myself seeking to be around him more frequently. I even joined the same academic events as he, just to be in his presence. His devotion to his schoolwork and his grades rubbed off on me and I went from a struggling borderline failure to a near straight A student within a semester; I couldn’t have done it without his thorough explanation of the work, of course. (This was before he taught me to think for myself.) He became my role model and mentor and I quickly began to think of him as something more. I certainly was not known for being shy, so I explained my feelings to him only to realize that the emotion was mutual. That night he called my house, and our conversation continued for nearly two hours, but by the end of the discussion, we were an official couple. The irony was that the excitement of the event forced us both to forget the original date, so we chose November 7th as the ‘official’ day and it has remained such ever since. Therefore, I do, in fact, have two moments that stand out this early in our relationship.

Since that beautiful day, nearly two years ago multitudes of memorable events have transpired between us. Looking at him now causes my heart to flutter when I remember every moment that we have shared; including our first kiss, the first time that he whispered, “I love you.” in my ear, the first time that I realized that I was truly in love with him, the insurmountable inspiration that he has given me over time, the feeling of complete protection when he holds my hand, and numerous other unforgettable recollections. Being near him make me feel as though I truly belong right there with him, and the morals and strict boundaries set for our relationship have only increased our love for each other due to the fact that we do not have to worry about any extra baggage that could distract us from a true spiritual and hopeful bliss in the comfort of each other. He has made me a better person for teaching me to truly respect myself, always try my hardest at everything I attempt, and accept my accomplishments not as mere accidents, but as a reflection of the beautiful part of myself, and for that I am eternally thankful. Seeing the way that he treats me and loves me has taught me what I want in a future husband; And whether he shall be that lucky man or not, I do not know (I can still dream, can’t I?), but I do know that the expectations have been raised to include a man who respects me and nurtures my dignity the way that he has. Now when Phillip does notice me when I am sitting observing him, I look into his eyes and see visions of the past and I pray, some of the not-too-distant future.

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