Daron got out of jail three years ago, but I remember everything that happened like it was yesterday. It’s been nearly ten years since Derek shot himself. Other people that went to the high school say that’s where it all started, but I know it isn’t. I’m going to try and tell you what happened, how I watched a friend be ripped to tiny shreds by emotions, and finally snapping.

Like I said, Derek shot himself almost ten years ago; next week in fact, will be the anniversary. To understand why this happened you must first understand how high school social structure works, people that don’t fit into any stereotype fall through a crack into the mystical misfits. These misfits come together forming bonds of friendship deeper than the bonds of any other social group. But it was these bonds that would betray us.

I remember where I was when I found out Derek had shot himself. I was sitting in a counselor’s office, with five or six of Derek’s friends, Daron, my best friend, and Samuel, Derek’s best friend were among them. That day there were too many tears shed, I didn’t think I would ever cry again, my eyes were dry and sore. It was odd, all the taboos on men crying seemed to fade, and some of the strongest men I knew were bawling like babes. Samuel didn’t cry all that much, but he did. We all did.

Evelyn and Derek had been dating for at lest three years before they broke up. She had ties in the lower but more numerous sophomore class, whilst his friendships lay with the seniors, and the hockey squad. I don’t know exactly why they broke up, but I had sensed strain in their relationship long before Evelyn ended it. She told him it was over, and he took it like a man, for three days, then he shot himself in his shower, his note said he did it in there to make the mess easier to clean up.

Anyway, rumors were flying like planes in a dogfight and I guess the story got kind of distorted. The version I got was from Faith, a friend of Evelyn’s. She said that Evelyn got a bad rep, and it wasn’t as bad as it sounded. The version I got from Samuel was that Evelyn was a cold bitch who told Derek how much of a terrible person he was, again and again, until he finally couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe I should’ve seen the fire in Sam’s eyes that day; maybe I could’ve stopped this whole thing.

Sam was seeing red, in his mind Evelyn was the cause of his best friend’s suicide. All he wanted was Evelyn’s blood for the next few days. In his defense she wasn’t a nice person always had her nose in the air, always thought she was right. But her friends closed ranks around her, and their protection worked for a time. It was a Tuesday, I think, that it failed. Evelyn was going to her locker or something, and Sam was headed to the bathroom.

They met passing in the hallway, and something inside Sam’s mind snapped. He saw his best friend’s lifeless corpse staring up at him through Evelyn’s pupils, and all of his self-restraint snapped. Evelyn tried to stalk by him, her nose in the air, lips pursed, but Sam wasn’t himself. He gave her a hard right to the nose, breaking her glasses, her nose, and one of his knuckles. Blood spurted from her nose and his fist, but he didn’t stop. He pounded his left into her midsection doubling her over, then brought his knee up and kneed her in the face. She was screaming, he was as silent as death. A teacher heard, and called the police. Then the man ran out to stop what he thought was a fight. When he saw what the “fight” looked like he was appalled, a senior guy beating the living snot out of a junior girl. He yelled, and then grabbed Sam’s arm. Sam spun around and shoved him away. The teacher decided it was better not to mess with this kid, and ran to get the police. Sam took one look at bloody Evelyn and grabbed her by the ponytail. He stood facing the wall. He wiped his bloody hands on the wall, and said “Look at it, look what you made me do you bitch, where’s Derek, where’s Derek damn it?” he wasn’t making sense but with or without sense he let out a heart-wrenching cry and smashed her head full force into the cold cinderblocks.

Evelyn ended up in the intensive care unit, and Sam in the juvenile detention center. I was lifting weights with Daron and Elias when I heard. Daron was really bulking up, and I think I knew why. He had confided in me that he was in love. Her name was Alexis, and this wasn’t just a schoolboy crush, he had seriously fallen for her. I think he was taking steroids because he bulked up a lot, fast. I was spotting Daron, he was bench pressing. Elias’s cell phone went off, and he answered. “Guys,” he said quietly. “We gotta go.” We saw the seriousness in his eyes and lit out for the lockers.

We changed, showered fast and were at Elias’s house in no time. Most of our friends were already there; his basement was the congregating point for our social group. We heard the news and sat in silence for a few minutes. I thought of Sam in prison orange, and Evelyn in ICU breathing through a tube.

Sam was released into his mother’s custody until his case would be heard. He was expelled from school. Daron and I went to see him, and I found myself wishing I would have said more to him, wishing I could’ve dissuaded him from going out that night, but it was Friday and Sam wanted to go out with a few of his other friends and unwind.

Unfortunately, Sam had had a little too much to drink, and he didn’t feel comfortable driving home, so he walked. He was walking through the park, on a path that ran alongside the river. It was a serene place and Sam had always liked being close to nature, I think it just calmed him. He was walking along, staring out across the river, most of the island in the distance obscured by the night. A single car drove by, but it didn’t break Sam’s serenity, I like to think he was making his peace with whatever higher power there is.

I also like to think that he had finished making peace with god when a gold Lexus screamed around the corner. It screeched to a halt on the road about ten yards from where Sam was standing looking out over the river. Four inky figures leapt out, and sprinted towards him. Sam didn’t run, maybe he thought he would get was coming to him, and his karma would be set straight. As the figures drew nearer he recognized two of them as sophomores, the other two wore ski masks. He never saw the first pull the switchblade from his pocket, but he felt the younger man drive it into his chest. Blood spurted from the wound as the boy, now recognized as a cross country runner named Tane. The sophomore stepped back, almost surprised at himself, looking at the blood on his hands. Sam fell to his knees, crying and gasping from the pain, the knife still embedded in his abdomen. Being a cross country runner, Tane was the first to the scene; the two wearing ski masks stopped and stared, openmouthed in horror. The other kept running and transferred his momentum to Sam’s head via his boot. The underside of that boot was the last thing Sam ever saw. He bled to death while unconscious in the park that night. He died where he was most happy, and I can only pray he made his peace with god that night.