Always

The horrible thing about having a graduation during the Christmas holiday is that ‘Santa Claus’ tries to combine your Christmas present with your graduation gift. Unfortunately for me, this happened. Oh well.

I mean, I’m not spoiled or anything like that, but I do like presents. And no, I don’t still believe in ‘Santa Claus’. That’s old news.

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Driving to my family’s farm takes hours, so you better be careful… especially if you have a new car. Okay, okay. I got it from my brother. You see, my mom was giving it to him, but he didn’t want it. (I know what you’re thinking, ‘Who doesn’t want a car?’ and I agree!) Even thought I got it from him, I don’t see it as a hand-me-down.

As soon as I reached the farm, I heard squeals of excitement coming from my right. I turned to see my younger cousins rushing towards me. A few minutes later, I was sprawled on the ground, covered by kids under the age of nine. Then someone laughed.

“Get up children,” I heard someone say. “Time for lunch.” A chorus of aw’s were heard, then the kids headed for the kitchen. I turned on my side to face my mother’s hand held out to me. As soon as I got to my feet, Mom hugged me.

“Great to see you,” she said. Finally letting go, Mom and I headed towards my car.

“I see you’re enjoying your new vehicle,” Mom chuckled. I sighed. Why do moms always have to state the obvious?

“Hmm. Really?” I replied. “I never noticed.” Saying that, I made a gesture, asking Mom to help me unload my things. She accepted, following me to the trunk. We, both, grabbed a side of the suitcase, and started to carry it. But we didn’t get that far.

As soon as I lifted the suitcase, I toppled over. There, I was gasping for air under the 30-ton object. ( I hope you know I’m just exaggerating!) Mary, one of my cousins, was coming over to ask Mom a question. When she arrived to her desired location, Mary saw me squirming under my suitcase and she started laughing uncontrollably. After she was done, Mary and Mom managed to pick up the suitcase and free me. Soon after, I held my breath and began dragging the object towards the guest bedroom, Mary and my mother still giggling from the incident.

---

Finally! Christmas Eve had arrived! I jumped out of my bed, got ready, and ran downstairs for my family’s annual ‘Christmas Eve Breakfast’.

I got downstairs, and I noticed everyone was waiting for me. I smiled as I sat down, and then led my family in prayer.

A few minutes after we all started eating, my mother got out of her seat. I watched her travel into the kitchen and carry out another tray of breakfast food. I moved the food on my plate around, trying to make room for the incoming meal. I looked up anxiously, waiting for Mom to come bring me some more food. But all she did was shake her head and start to walk away.

“Where are you going?” I asked, confused. What would Mom need with a tray of food, if she doesn’t give it to us? You know, the people who are eating. Mom sighed while turning to face me.

“I am going upstairs,” she replied.

“I know that… but why?” I continued. Mom sighed, again. Jeez… Enough with the sighing! Just get it over with and tell me! Mom glanced to a room upstairs.

“Because Abuela isn’t feeling that well,” she whispered. Then we just stood there in silence, like we were waiting for something to happen. Mom hesitated before speaking.

“Look, I have to bring this food to Abuela before she starves. See you,” she said, starting up the stairs. I held my breath as I leaned against the railing, watching mother-dear bring my abuela something to eat. I hope she gets better…

---

“Caroline!” I heard faintly. “Caroline, wake up!” I groaned softly as I tried to open my eyes.

“What? “ I asked, half asleep. I looked around. “By the way, what time is it?” I noticed the grim expression on Mary’s face. Oh boy…

“What’s wrong?” I continued, looking at my clock. 4:30. If I was woken up at this time because ‘Santa’ didn’t put the presents out yet, there is going to be some SERIOUS trouble.

“Abuela…” Mary started, but she didn’t finish. Oh gosh. Don’t think that thought, Caroline. Nothing happened to Abuela.

“Abuela…?” I urged her on, trying to figure out what she was going to say.

“Abuela’s gone.” Mary finally finished. Right then and there, everything came crashing down. How can Abuela be gone? She was fine last week! Mary walked away, like nothing ever happened, leaving me behind in a daze.

“Abuela’s gone,” I repeated. “She’s actually gone.” It took me a few minutes to wrap my brain around the fact. I realized that all I could do… was cry.

---

“Well, thanks for visiting,” Mom said, helping me load my belongings into the car. “Even if things didn’t go as planned.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“It’s okay,” I replied. “It’s life, you know?” After everything was set and ready, I went around giving my relatives a hug goodbye. There were some bye’s, some goodbye’s and even some see-ya’s, but none of those salutations would be as comforting as Abuela’s. I knew that for sure.

Then, I hopped into the car, buckled my seatbelt, and drove off. During that time, I meditated about what happened. It’s not just Abuela’s death that had affected me, but knowing she’s around. That’s what really touched my heart. I know, from Heaven, that Abuela’s always watching me. Always.