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She'd felt this way for a
while. It was a strange sort of emptiness that settled in the pit of
her stomach like an overcooked scone. She smiled at those around her
and laughed at their jokes. She was as normal as anyone else around
her and acted as if the world was hers. Maybe at had been once.
But
now everything had changed and there was a darkness about herself
that she didn't like anymore.
As she sat at a coffee shop table,
she pondered these feelings. A doctor would call it depression. But
it felt so much more than that. It was a soul consuming loneliness
that made her bones hurt and her withered little heart rattle around
in it's bone cage. Her lazy fingers grazed the spoon that sat on her
saucer. Her drink was cold by now. The marshmallows slumped against
the cup, forgotten.
A woosh of air and a beam of sunlight
stricking the cold floor tiles signalled the entrance of him. The
only bright spot in her day. Everyday he entered at eleven o'clock on
the dot as he took his coffee break from work, a paper in his hand.
He ordered a flat white with trim milk, laughing personably with the
barista. He sat at the same table everyday, just across from hers, in
the sunniest spot in front of window. He took out his paper and began
to read. Glancing over the articles, she had noticed that he skipped
over the sad ones with a slight frown, moving onto the local interest
story of the little boy who saved his dad's life. When his coffee
came, his warm, white smile was always returned with a geniune
"You're welcome!"
When she thanked the
server, she was only ever rewarded with a slight nod. It was his
charisma. It filled the room and made it sunnier. Warmer. His
presence lifted her darkess, if only for a few minutes. At half past
he collects his paper together, wraps his scarf back around his neck
and says a cheerful goodbye, a sparkle in those marvellous eyes.
And
then the world is dark again and she is returned to her slump.
But
for those precious minutes, her life meant something. All other time
was just waiting for him to return and refill her day.
As she sat at her table,
shrowded in shadows, she gathered her information about this man that
meant so much to her. He had no ring on his finger. No family
pictures in his wallet. His long coat was covered in hair resembling
dog fur. The scarf was handknitted by a loving hand, with careful
stitching, but messy all the same. It held a few holes where stitches
had been dropped. It was loved, and whoever had made it loved him.
His eyes creased at the sides and laugh lines etched his cheeks that
dimpled when he smiled. He never half smiled, just lips, no teeth. It
was always full, and dazzling.
She watched him everyday as he
came and went.
And then, one day, everything changed. He sat at
her side of the shop, just as happy as ever.
She was put out
though. This new position was not so good for her casual
observations. If she wished to watch, it was more likely that she
would be seen and invisibility was central to her observations.
So
as she read the book that she know brought with her, she was no
longer watching.
Instead, he was watching her. She had enough
experience in being stared at to know when someone was staring at
her. She looked up shyly.
The man smiled warmly at her, his eyes
creasing as he did so. She turned back to her book, her cheeks
burning. As he left the shop, he walked past, his coat brushing her
as he did so. He graced her with a special smile. She felt the
darkness that had encased her heart lift with his light. Returning
his smile, she flushed once again.
"Will I see you
tomorrow?" His soft, deep voice asked.
Her eyes met his and
she nodded.
"I guess I'll see you then."
"I
guess so..." She whispered as he walked back down the high
street, a slight spring in his step.