It’s like you’re
walking along, everything seems normal, and suddenly the ground
disappears beneath your feet, there is nothing holding you up, you’re
falling, and your arms are flailing, trying to grab onto something,
anything, but there’s nothing, you’re dying, you’re sure of it,
you can hardly breathe and you’re going down and there’s nothing
to catch you, nothing, you know it’s not real though, you know
that, you know it’s just your mind up to tricks again, you know
it’s the drugs, but that hardly matters, does it?, what you know
means nothing compared to what you feel, and you feel the world
ending, everything falling apart, and there’s nothing you can do
about it, nothing, but somehow your hand makes contact with
something, in the middle of all that nothingness, there’s something
and you grab it and you climb up, and then he’s there, looking down
at you, and you’re just barely hanging on and he doesn’t move, he
doesn’t reach his arm out to you, why won’t he help you?, you’re
angry, he’s leaving you there to die? Why? He doesn’t love you,
he doesn’t care, he’s here but still you’re alone, why are you
always alone? why won’t he help you? he must hate you, you must
hate him, and you’re yelling at him, and you’re just barely
hanging on, and beyond here is all that nothing, threatening to suck
you up, he could stop it, if he wanted to, he would hold out his hand
and pull you up, why won’t he? Your hand is slipping, you’re
going to fall again, you know it, you’re screaming, and he’s
crying, saying things like, “I love you,” but if that was true,
wouldn’t he help you? wouldn’t he? So he must be lying, he’s a
liar, and you’re all alone, and you’re hand slips and you’re
falling again, and then there’s nothing, nothing, until you’re
waking up hours later, wondering what the fuck happened.