Pull out
the makeup, flick on the lights, draw the curtains ready for the
grand entrance. Smooth those frown lines, conceal those spots, switch
on the smile – ka-ching! – and rally all the forces;
charm, humour and an infuriating carefree attitude for a full
throttle attack. The moment of truth approaches – brace yourself,
ARE YOU REAAAADYYYYY???? – deep breaths, shake out those nerves
twisting your stomach – c'mon, smile now, don't drop it
– bigger, wider…that's it, just a little more…perfect! All
ready, teetering on the spindliest of proverbial heels, don't
breathe too much, you might just collapse. Ready? Ready? Here we g-
hurry up now, the curtain is rising! Stomach in, shoulders back, chin
up, and smile. Bigger, please! Get out there! Now!