Recipe For a Clichéd Romance

Ingredient-1

Someone you really hate.(like “I want to bash their head in every time I see them” hate)

“Do you guys want to go to the beach or do I have to drag you?” I asked my lazy bum friends. As a answer I see Zack shake his hand. Or maybe it was the finger? Oh well. I’ll gave him something to suck on. Marie nods still having her head in her book. Looney Tunes waved his tail signaling his approval on Zack’s behalf. Psssh nice best friend I got.

“Get you’re arses up you mother lovin’ butt munchers!” Well I guess you’re wondering who I am right?

-5 minute pause-

I don’t care. However since you’re putting up with me I’ll tell you guys.

My name is Kathryn Evans. I’m about 5’8,and 17.My eyes are dark brown. Along with my hair. I keep telling everyone that it’s DARK BROWN. Not BLACK. Can you even be born with black hair? AAAAAAAAnyways I have an average build, well I guess my boobs are a little big, maybe it’s cause of my Hispanic blood or something. I’m chubby, I don’t like my thighs but I wouldn’t say I would get surgery for them. I’m perfectly comfortable with be fluffy. I’ve never been really pissed before but I love pissing people off especially my sisters.(Cue evil laugh)

“Oi I’m talking to you mujer” said the one who gave me the finger

“Don’t call me that I got a name!” gosh they don’t remember my name. Nice friends I got. “Yea yea are we going or not?” Marie always has to bud in.

“WOOOOOOFF WOOOOOFF!” said “man’s best friend”

“Shove it Looney! Plus what the hell have I been saying for the past 20 minutes?!”

Marie gets out a tape recorder. Wait….they still have that in stock? And why is she pressing play?

“Do you guys want to the beach or do I have to drag you?” OH NO SHE DIDN’T.

I’m standing with my mouth hanging open.

“There that’s what you said. “Marie says with a smirk. Evil Evil little bookworm. You know what.

“Evil Evil Little Bookworm!” hahaha take that. Uh -oh

“WHAT!?WORMS WHERE WHERE!” well let’s say Marie doesn’t like anything that moves and especially if it squishy and live underground.

“ RUUUUN!” I break out in a run to the beach.Oh yea didn’t I tell you guys I live 15 minutes from the beach.Heeehheee anyways.Marie chases me all the way to the beach. Me being too lazy to change, I have my bathing suit on. A two piece with red top and black bottom with red flowers. It’s the tie around you’re neck type. Arg my thighs are probably shaking but If I stop Marie is gonna……

“UMPF!” stupid wall. Wait why is there a wall in the middle of the beach? Plus are walls supposed to be warm and muscily. (is that a word?)

“Hey cutie, Did it hurt?” says Mr. Sexy want to lick off a sundae says with a smirk.

“Hell yea that hurt. Can you work out less and stop being so hard it felt like I ran into a wall?” Oh yea I’m outgoing I pretty much say stuff without hiding around the bush.

“Well thanks for noticing my working but (he ignored me mother effer I give him the meanest glare in my book) I wasn’t talking about that. I meant Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” oh gawd lamest pick-up line in the book. I look up to him wait did he just hit on me?

“Uh sorry for not paying attention but did you use the oldest pick-up line in the book. And why are you still in front of me. I need to run if you didn’t notice my psychotic friend is gonna kill me if I don’t.” Marie is a slow runner so she’ll be here any second…

'"ATHRYN MAY EVANS GET YOUR ARSE HERE NOW!!” crap. I flinched and Mr.….grr Mr. Smirk is well….. Smirking.

“Damn…See What did I say she’s gonna kill me!” not moving

“Why should I move I shouldn’t let you get away.” I think I’m gonna vomit maybe on his fake tanned chest?

“Get a life and new pick-up lines while you’re at it. I heard EBay is cheaper these day. My friend got a guitar for a penny. No lie.”

oh well might as well chatty up where’s a cigarette when you need one. Like you know in the movies where the smoke before they die. I’ll probably die before she gets here from the smoke.

“You’re funny how about you me on a date. Then my place?” He wiggles his eyebrows. Oh no do I have to give him ‘The List’?

the list is a list of reasons why I don’t/shouldn’t/can’t go out with a guy changes with type of guy

“One I don’t know you. Two why should I? Three I don’t know your name, age, and if you’re not some rapist. Four why should you want to go out with me? Aaaaaaaaaaaaand five Why should I?” He looks confused. Did I short fused his brain?

“Well one and three. I’m Damien Blackmoore,18, I don’t have a record. Plus if you and me have sex it’ll be because you wanted to. Two you won’t regret it. Four believe it or not you’re beautiful and five you won’t regret it.”

That’s how I met my sexy prince charming. Well if you can call him a prince.

I ended up fixing my whole story. AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO READ THE GRAPEFRUIT STORY MAY YOU REVIEW IT...

Thank you!

ChArMeD