I love and hate you

I miss yet despise your presence

You bring peace of mind and a headache.

It's easier to leave when smoke fills our vision

Smoke from a burning building

A fire we built in our living room.

It started small, this fire of ours

We paid no attention at first

But then it grew, without warning

And we can't stand the smoke.

I've always said I loved you,

But now my feelings have changed

A little bit, sure, but changing still

And now I burst at the seams to tell you truth

I say, "Use your mouth and speak your mind,"

"Verbalize your gratitude and uncertainties,"

"Express your love to those you care for,"

"You were given a mouth for a reason,

Use your courage for a simple complication,"

I whisper to myself, alone.

It's easier to speak to you when you're not here

When I can't see your face

And feel grief by looking in your eyes

Or be seduced by your velvety voice

No, this will I keep in my mind:

Queer notions; secret passions and ploys.

Yes, you will never know

And with that reassurance

The contradiction, like black and white

Doesn't seem so bad anymore