A.N.: I haven't been active recently. My personal life is for shit right now. And this sucks. Somehow, though, I'm not sorry.

“Accidentally Threw Up”

R.M. Sanders 012408

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“He called me a slut!”

“Correction,” the boy with the smoldering eyes snapped. “I called you a slutcake. If you’re going to tell the story, get it right, stupid bitch.”

“Hey!” Jayden cut in, eyebrows knit together as he examined the two. I also looked at them, biting my lip as well. The girl to my left had luscious blonde hair and a huge rack. True to her description, she was known as the class tramp. He, however, was the brooding basketball star (think Lucas from One Tree Hill) with an excellent reputation. He never skipped class (unless it was for those oh-so fucking important basketball tournaments), and he had grades to match that winning smile of his.

He was the subject of my wildest fantasies, needless to say.

“Look,” Jay went on, rubbing at his temples, “we can’t get anywhere unless you two stop bickering, okay?”

Jessica, the blonde, crossed her arms over her chest. She snapped her gum and looked away noncommittally. Travis, Mr. Sexy Eyes, nodded.

“Good, now… I’ll need each of you to tell me what exactly happened. And only the facts, please. I don’t have time for bullshit.” Jayden sat forward in his chair, hands forming a temple in front of him.

I sat back in my chair, hiding behind my veil of black-and-orange hair, “Make it snappy, too. We don’t have all day, and I’d really like to eat.”

“Can I go first?” Jessica popped her gum. My jaw quivered. If she kept on doing that, I was going to have to smack a bitch.

Jay nodded.

“Well,” Jessie pouted, “Trav and I were at a party. You know, one of Erica Matheson’s parties in her parents four-story—“

“I was there, idiot,” I spat, rolling my eyes. Jayden shot me a look that was a mix between amusement and scolding. He was there, too.

“Anyway,” she pointedly said, popping her gum in my face, “We were at Erica’s and he had been, like, drinking. Well,” she paused here to giggle. “We all were. Anyway, we, meaning Travis and I, were dancing and having a good time, and then, like, all of a sudden we’re upstairs. ‘Kay?”

Jayden nodded again, making a sound of agreement through his nose.

“So, we’re kissing and, like, all of a sudden, we’re, like…”

“Fucking?” I put in. She blushed and nodded. Figures. The class tramp and the basketball star. So stereotypical.

“Anyway, we come back to school on Monday and I here all these bad things about me!” Jessica sat forward, giving my boyfriend full access to her mile-long cleavage. Luckily, Jay had a slight allergy to plastic.

“Like what?” Jayden pressed, squinting his eyes in thought. He looked adorable and I had to force myself to keep a straight face.

Jessica thought a moment, her clear blue eyes rolling to the heavens, “Well, I heard that I suck in bed, that I give great head, that we had a golden shower, and that I like to be spanked.” And if that wasn’t enough gross images to process, she went on. “Oh! And that my boobs are fake. But, like, everyone knows that.”

Oh, confidence. I like that in a woman.

“I didn’t tell anyone any of that, you liar,” Travis spoke up. “They’ve heard it from Joseph, Eric, and every other football, basketball, tennis, baseball, and golf player you’ve screwed!”

“I do not screw the golf players! How dare you even suggest that, you asshole!” Jessica stood up, and it looked like she was going to lunge across the table that separated the two of them and claw Travis’ eyes out. Which, I admit, would’ve been really fucking awesome to see.

“Sit down, Jess,” I rolled my eyes, standing next to her. I placed my hand on her arm, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. For all the plastic and make-up that inhabited her body, I had to admit that she was rather pretty. I guess you had to have a bit more than loose legs and straight teeth to be in the “in” crowd.

“I don’t sleep with the golf players. Nor the baseball players. Really, Monarch, I don’t.”

I nodded and we sat, Jess burying her head in her manicured hands.

And, damn, she had good grammar, too.

“Either way,” Jayden interrupted, “we’re not going to get anywhere if you two keep spitting accusations back and forth to each other. We need to resolve this like adults. That means talking, staying calm, and not being dickheads.”

Ah, but that was my boyfriend. Perfect grammar and big words.

I couldn’t have been prouder.

“Fine,” Travis was in the same position he had been sitting in the entire time we had been in here. He was slouched in the seat (much like I had been), arms crossed in his lap, legs spread apart in a “V” in front of him. “I’ll talk if she will. But I want a chance to tell my story.”

Jay turned his umber eyes to Travis, a small smile dimpling his cheeks, “If that wasn’t exactly clear, you’ll get your turn. Don’t worry.”

Travis returned the smile, “I never do.” I knew that Trav and Jayden weren’t exactly “friends,” but it still made me a bit jealous that Travis was the center of Jayden’s attention.

“Okay,” Jayden turned back to Jessica and I (we were sitting in front of he and Travis, if that wasn’t clear). “So continue with your story, Jessie. Travis won’t interrupt again.”

“Oh,” she popped her gum. “I was pretty much done.”

Jayden sighed, “Okayyy. Travis?”

Travis finally moved. He stuffed his hands deep into the pocket of his purple and white hoodie. “Pretty much everything that Jessica said was true. We screwed at Erica’s. Everyone knew. And not because I told them. She goes around telling people who she’s slept with.”

Jessica looked like she was going to say something, but my hand on her arm stopped her. Rudeness would not be tolerated on my watch as a peer mediator.

“Well,” Jayden tapped a pencil against his smooth chin, “is there anything else you’d like to say? Because now’s the time to do it.”

Travis shook his head.

“I have something that I wanna add, Jay-Jay.” Jessie sat back in the plastic seat (they were a match!).

“Go ahead. You guys don’t have to wait for my permission to add onto something, either. Just don’t interrupt each other and don’t be bitches. Because I’ve had my fill for the day, thanks,” Jayden let a smile play with his lips.

“Well, like, Shandra told me that Bianca told her that Ashlo told her that Travis was spreading all of these rumours. And I believe Ashlo. She’s reliable,” Jessica nodded her blonde head, running French-tipped fingers through the perfect locks.

Travis narrowed his almost-black eyes, “Ashlo’s the one that told you that you were pregnant because you accidentally threw up one of your pills before you had sex.”

Jessica made a pathetic noise that could only be called a whine and looked at me. Psht. Like I could do anything about it.

“Too much info, thanks,” Jay smiled, but tried to hold it in. “But vital information, I’m afraid.”

“Really, though, Ash is a good best friend. She tells me things that are absolutely important,” Jessie insisted.

“Yeah, like where to get your fake-ass Coach purse,” Trav shot.

“Why you evil bastard!” Jessica was up now, and it was all I could do to hold her back. She was about my size, weight-wise, but she was a tiger trapped in a kitten’s body. Wait… ew. “You swore that you wouldn’t tell! Now everyone is going to know that my purse didn’t come from Saks!”

“Too late,” Travis just kept on sitting, a calm smirk on his face. I never knew that the popular crowd could be so… devious… “Everyone already knows. Again, it wasn’t my fault. Ashlo has a big mouth, y’know.”

Jessica audibly gasped. Then she sunk into the chair, sobbing into her hands. “I’m ruined…”

“Your reputation isn’t everything,” Jayden said sympathetically. He reached across the table to give Jessica’s arm a light squeeze. “When you get out of high school, you’ll go far away, get a good education, and do whatever you set your mind to.”

Travis snorted in the background. Jay shot him a look.

“Trust me, Jessica, you’ll do fine. Your rep isn’t the most important thing in the world. You need to focus on your grades and get into a good college. Don’t worry about what Stephan is doing or what Kelli is wearing. You focus on you, okay?”

Something that Jayden said perked Jessie up. She immediately wiped the tears away (thank god for waterproof mascara is all I have to say), and turned her eyes to Travis.

“I think we can solve this, Trav.”

He raised one eyebrow to show that he was listening. Jayden and I were also attentive.

“But I think I need to do some damage control around the school. As soon as you two” (meaning Jayden and I) “can, could you start saying nice things about me? Like what you just said, Jay.” We nodded and she went on. “I’ll tell everyone positive things, and I will be successful.”

The three of us watched as Jessica stood, flipped her hair, and flounced out of the room, throwing back a “thanks” that sounded really petty.

Travis looked at me, “So what do I do now?”

I shrugged. “Go back to class?”

He didn’t say anything else, just picked himself up out of the chair and left.

I watched him go until I saw that Jayden’s eyes were on me. “What?” I inquired. He just smiled.

“Y’know, Monarch, you suck at this.”