My gaze lowered as I jammed my hands into my pocket, staring blankly at the ground.

“Will… Don’t… Don’t be like that…”

“Like what?” I jerked my head up to lock my eyes with his, hoping to make some connection, but I flinched away at the last second. “Upset? I should be happy about this Jake?”

“You know it has to be like this. You know, it can’t work.” The clear purpose in his words cut like a knife.

“That’s not true..” I whispered under my breath, reassuring myself more than anything. I took a step closer to him, hesitantly reaching my hand out, brushing it against his cheek. I couldn’t look at his face anymore, it hurt so bad. Slowly I closed my eyes, “Tell me this isn’t what you want, tell me I’m not what you want.”

My mouth was inches away from his and I let my cool breath wash over his lips. It condensed in the chilly air, it was getting lighter, soon the sun would beat down on the fields.

He was tense, I knew he was having a civil war with himself. The warmth, the air, my thoughts, they were all knocked out of me as he stepped back. “I have to go.” It was short, it was bitter, and I could tell he didn’t mean it.

I watched though, I watched as the man I would give everything for walked away from me. His boots reminding me with each soft crunch on the frozen ground, that he was leaving. I didn’t cry, but he did.