A/N: Note that this story is over half a year old and I sort of lost interest in it. Coming back to it, it is my side project, but I think more enjoyable than my other story. Well, whatever. I probably will not update this as much, but even so, I hope you readers enjoy it.

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The sun was shining brightly today. A beautiful crescent of grass surrounded the school. Beads of dew clung onto each stem, giving the yard a look of sparkling stars. And...well...that was about it. In truth, it was a rather uninviting scene. While the plant life was spectacularly gorgeous, the school was a mottled wreck of frames and crumbling concrete. Black marks, whether it be paint or sharpie, tattooed the walls in childish scrawls. Piles of horrendously maimed bricks dotted the sidewalk. As I stood there, gaping at this monstrous design of inaptitude and seemingly self-abusive actions, the warning bell rang. The sharp squealing sent me into a frenzy of confusion and awkward poses. For a moment, I was sure that this wasn't a school, but rather a disguised hostel just waiting for its victims to come in and set themselves to a shortened life of torture and macabre scenes. Even after the apparent truth came to mind (that it indeed, sad as can be, WAS a school), I could not shake the reluctance off my shoulders. The second warning bell rang, just as disturbing as the first. Hearing it for the second time, I was able to imagine it as the cry of the intriguing species, Babius Maximus.

By and by, I suppose that this was a wasted endeavour. The school had been listed in my transfer as being "the most prestigious and ingeniously able school ever created in the new age of our children's generation." That should have been enough to make me realize that the school was no more "prestigious and ingenious" as Laura Mallory was. But instead, I decided to take a chance and check the place out. Worst came to worst.

Why did I spend ten miles of walking for this?! I had never been so struck with anger and disgust in my life. It was worse than the time where I had discovered that Mickey Mouse was really some fat man with three kids and a beer belly in a costume. Actually, maybe it wasn't as bad as that time. The incident had been most shocking... I mean to discover that a mouse, who was so nice and polite, to have the mind and perverted expression of child manipulation...well..it was just wrong. I mean, if you met a guy who's best friend was named Goofy, then heck...you wouldn't really expect him to be some drunkard under pounds of cotton fabric would you? Anyways, I think you get the point of the extent of my...disposition.

One might ask why the heck did I walk ten miles. The truth is, ever since my mother went off to Jamaica for her supposed "break from home", homelife wasn't what many would call comfortable and relaxing...as my mother would probably be calling the tropical vicinity in which she was staying. My father, without the company of his departed spouse, had started to stress out and overreact to pretty much everything.

"NO NO NO! I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNAAA!! I DON'T WANNNAAA! I HAAATEEE GOING TO WORK!"

"PUT THAT DOWN! Are you crazy?! Without your mother here, the stove might finally crack and hunt us down for using it to burn day-old peppermints!"

"OH MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME! Why did you leave me when you know that you're the only who knows how to cook cereal!!"

I shuddered at the memory. After those somewhat...intimate yet insane accusations, I was able to wriggle my way out of "homelife". Slapping a note with the words GAMBATE! heart heart xoxo on the door, I rushed to pack my bags with as much tinfoil recipes and Caprisun as I could lift. Then, with a shout of epic challenge, I heaved the whole thing onto my back. And then...fell out my window.

Poor me.

Luckily, I was on the second floor, and the fact that bag was huge saved me too. Albeit, much of the Caprisun was leaking out of the sides and the lasagna was completely scratched up; that didn't stop me though. With another cry of GAMBATE, I was able to tumble down my driveway and roll straight into my mailbox. The good thing about that happening was I found the application to be received into the embrace of a "prestigious" junior high school. Thus, after many hours of deliberation (in which I ate all my food and soaked up the fruit juice) my feet were shuffling down the highway in plaid shoes.

In one week, those shoes were torn to shreds, much like a mosquito that gets hit by a car's bumper, then injected into the motor, massacred in the whirring gears, and ejected out the nearest exit. I was barefoot when I finally decided to ask directions. Again, as if by fate, luck came to my side. It seemed that my walking in continually widening circles had finally led me about three miles from the school. Using the directions, I was able to track the school over the forests, creeks, rude pedestrians, and flouncing businessmen; the businessmen had some issue with me walking without shoes, so I gave some kid five bucks to pick on them. In time, the businessmen were as tattered as I was. The kid had found his friend's pitbulls and set them on the group. It had been a friendly scuffle...particularly entertaining when one guy got bit right on the socks. No blood, but a lot of howling and tug-of-war moments.

After many touching moments in which I shouted at myself for leaving the sanity of my home and coming instead to a feral land, I finally reached the school. I was nervous. Really nervous. There were butterflies in my stomach...probably from lunch the day before.

It WAS a disappointment, I decided. All that work and this is what I got.

Well, at least it was better than cooked cereal.

The first thing I noticed was that the inside was strange. I couldn't quite keep up with why, but something about the enormous hallway seemed to vibe with not foreboding chills, but with some other kind of emotion. I had a feeling close to hatred almost immediately. Well, well...this was certainly going to be a pleasant experience.

I made my way to the receptionist and leaned on the polished counter. To be able to afford high-shine marble tabletops and not have enough to redecorate a single door of the school...the feeling grew bigger along with my regurgitated insects.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

A middle-aged woman sat on a rolling chair in front of an old-fashioned telephone. You know, the double end type that has a wheel instead of buttons. I myself preferred this kind of telephone because it was pretty cool to be able to stick your finger inside a shallow cut in a piece of plastic and turn something underneath it, but at this moment, I had that close-to-hatred feeling to it too. Why? Well because the stupid phone was hogging up the attention of the secretary or counselor or whoever she was. I rapped my knuckles on the marble, a tad too hard maybe, but even then, she didn't hear the impact or my yelp of pain right after. I thought about walking around and tapping her, but the moment my foot left the waiting area, her eyes shot towards my direction. It was so surprisingly fast that I actually leapt back. Her eyes were shaded with enormous horn-rimmed glasses. Graying hair framed her rather stern face and seemed to move like snakes. The serpent snapped at me. For a minute, it was not an elderly lady I was facing but the mythological creation of Medusa.

I fell into a chair and seemingly fainted. The next time I opened my eyes, they averted to my right, almost as if something was drawing me to it. The lady was still on the phone, nodding like a puppet. A large green clock hung above her and I noticed that it looked strikingly like a frog, although the letters above it said BIG BEAR. From my reckoning, it had been nearly an hour since I had come in. Enough was enough.

"Excuse me...uhmm..."

She ignored me.

"Hey lady! ARE YOU THERE?"

Her hand started jotting some notes down.

"OLD WHORE!"

A large candy bar entered her mouth.

Ok, that's it. I'm through.

I gave her a piercing glance and decided to show myself the school instead of asking such an irresponsible attendant. Sticking my tongue out at her, I jogged off the vicinity and looked around for the classrooms.

To my surprise...

There were none. I blinked and wondered if I was really in some kind of half-built auditorium. The hallway had led into a huge dome-shaped room. Curtains surrounded all the walls in red furnishings. It was like those little satin ribbons on Valentine Day chocolate boxes. I couldn't tell what anything was. On a whim, I decided to see if there was anything behind the curtains. Walking over quickly, I pulled the nearest one open with a flourish.

"NAOOOO!!"

"AHHH!"

Crash, boom, bang. The works.

From the depths of the curtain, a girl had popped out from seemingly nowhere. I was incredibly surprised as you'd probably imagine. Having someone of the opposite gender suddenly apparate before your eyes is something you'd expect to only read about in Harry Potter and not experience in real life. It was even more surprising when it seemed like the whole scene had been dropped into the hands of the director of 300. Every single movement became reminiscent of bullet-time. This time, I was more awe-inspired than anything.

"N A A A A A A A a aaa aaaaaa oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" she cried, her voice blurring into an unrecognizable croak of mercy. I uttered an equally

distorted shout as she plopped on top of me. Even at the force of impact, it took FOREVER; as in it took me more time to fall than it took people to find Penny Brown.

"Nao..." she mumbled once more, speaking into my shirt. As the movie-effect came to an end, the excruciating pain came at me full force. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I had to blink back a few tears. The girl was on top of me in an awkward position, one that would seem very suggestive had anyone come in. Hastily, I pushed her off, regretting not being more gentle the moment she let out a hurt Nao.

"Nao..." she cooed, looking very forlorn. I smiled reassuringly, but that seemed to set her off."Waaaaahhh!!"

Was this really...a junior high student? I couldn't help notice that she had the body of a junior high student. Hey, I have male instincts too you know. Nevertheless, I don't think she noticed for strands of black hair were obscuring her face at the time, hiding the brimming tears behind. I cringed a bit, my mouth worked into a somewhat half-maniacal loop. She was really letting me have it!

"Hey...uhm..are you ok?" I asked slowly, trying to make sure that I didn't come off at the wrong mood. She stopped sniffling for a moment and then looked at me with a completely straight and dry face.

"Nao...who are you?" she asked, tilting her head a little.

Who am I? That's all you have to say after ambushing me like Al Gore did to the world with his "Inconvenient Truth"?

"Nao..you don't look familiar," she said, tilting her head a little.

Nao...what the heck is Nao?!

"Naooo..." she said, tilting her head again.

I could feel my eye twitching. Thinking to myself wasn't getting me anywhere, especially since all the questions running in my head were irrational beyond belief. There had to be action. Sadly, I was torn between wrestling her down and yanking her hair to see how many Nao's she could ring off, or standing up and politely asking her the way to the exit. I had had enough of the school in the few seconds of conversation I'd been lucky to be part of. Unfortunately, as expected by now, there was no chance to run or fight.

"Nao."

"Eh?"

"Me Nao!" she said in a cutsy voice, like she was talking to someone with her unrealistically low mentality. I was so stunned that I didn't even notice the subtle, apparently unintentional, insult to my intellect. She repeated the phrase, this time pointing at herself and then pointing at me.

"Me not Nao," I said bluntly. She hiccuped and backed away with a terrified expression. Yes! It's true! I am not Nao!

"NAO?!" she screamed, nearly blowing my eardrums apart. Holding my seemingly bloody pair of external hearing aids, I smacked her right on the head with a heavy fist. The screaming stopped, but her head abruptly shot back up and bashed me in the chin. That started an inevitable chain of accidents that seemed like purposeful hits. We spent about twenty minutes giving each other bruises before I found the sense and calmness to stop.

"DAMN YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS NAO!"

"Nao is me!" she squealed, gingerly feeling her lumpy head. Suddenly, as if a stark bolt had struck my bruised skin, I realized that her name was Nao. Feeling very stupid, I pointed and introduced myself. She went back to head-tilting.

"Naooo...so you Bibimon?" she asked.

Bibimon?

"Naoo...Bibimon is big panda from the mountains!" she explained, using her hands to exaggerate the size of the bear.

I wondered if there was an Anger Management class here.

"Naoo, so you are new?" she inquired, looking at me straight in the eye.

Well, I suppose that's another way to say it.

"Naooooooooo! Let me give you a tour!" came her plea.

LIKE HELL! I'd rather fall out my window again; this time without the bag.

After all my demands that she let me go, threats to sue, and even pleading guilty to a jury (naturally, they wondered who I was), I was left hanging onto HER arm now. Don't call me a hypocrite...after all, it had been an exhausting week and fighting with this ditzy girl wasn't really recharging me. Actually, at that moment, my legs stopped working. I drifted down onto the floor, as if I was a slithering snake. A melting puddle, I laid there, in the center of the auditorium, with a flower on my chest. REST IN PEACE.

"Nao?"

GOD! Will she not even let me DIE?!

Poke poke. I felt her finger jabbing at my armpits. Poke poke. The ticklish feeling started coming around as she found my ribs and started stabbing for all it was worth. I jumped up and snatched at her hand.

"BLARRGGHH!!"

"NAOO!!" she cried, hopping away from me like a distressed bunny. Sympathy started to wash over my heart. DAMN NO! GET AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SYMPATHY FOR SUCH A PERSON!

"Oo..."

Poking me again? What kind of reactions do you have...! Oh wait, never mind. It's obvious that I'm just having a nightmare. Right?

Please. Say yes. Please.

---

A few minutes later, as Nao cradled her swelling head, I dusted my hands and took another look at the auditorium. I felt like I was missing something. No doubt I HAD missed something crucial, having to deal with idiots for the past morning. The curtain from which Nao had popped from floated mysteriously with some kind of ghost wind. On another whim, I walked over and shifted it over, half-expecting another NAOOO to come and bust me between the eyes. No such luck. Instead, I saw a blank white wall. Oh. Well, not what I really expected but meh.

Then, it came.

"NAO! Nao, get over here!"

"Naooo..that hurts naoo!"

"Why were you hiding behind the curtains?"

"Naoo, me no hide in curtains, me come from curtains!"

"What? SPEAK ENGLISH!"

"What english nao!"

"ENGLISH IS THE LANGUAGE WE'RE SPEAKING."

"Naoo...then we speak english nao?"

"I mean...PROPER."

"Waarom?"

"What?"

"Nao..."

This was becoming more confusing every second. She had come from the curtains. She had apparated before my eyes. PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. I looked her over once more, taking into detail her coal-colored hair, smooth brown eyes, and short skirt. Dressed in provocative clothing, using your own name as a catchphrase, and talking in broken english. I was utterly stumped. Was she foreign? That'd explain it all. She didn't seem foreign though...maybe born here and then kidnapped by a circus? That made the most sense, yet at the same time, seemed the most illogical.

'Nao, where are you from?"

"Mountains nao..."

Oh. So Bibimon isn't a figment of your imagination.

"How did you get here?"

"Nao...plane."

Very possible. Which is why I think you're lying.

"How did you get behind the curtain, I mean."

"Oh...I catapulted."

Catapult? Oh I see, you're delusional. Perfect sense. Let me just sign you up to my psychologist, he'll love having you.

"From where...?" I said slowly, trying to make sure my message got through to her.

"The painting!"

"Oh yes yes...of course. The painting THAT DOESN'T EXIST!"

"It is behind you on the wall."

"Look lady, I just looked at the wall and I'm telling you there's no HOLY SON OF A-!"

Where the wall had been, a beautiful scene of glittering lakes, wide green meadows, and soft mountains greeted me. Comprised solely of watercolors, the painting seemed to bask in its glows and hues, wrenching from me yet another heartborn sob. Damn it! I hated this school to the point of wanting to commit the highest arson against it. Not only did it drip with contempt towards EXCEPTIONAL TEACHERS but rather, it gave me exceptional STUDENTS. Yes, I said it. Exceptional students. I didn't want to be pressured down by higher ranks! I mean...she had to be exceptional to play this prank on me and paint the wall in the few minutes I had turned away from it, right?

"Mumururu made it!"

Burst my bubble why don't you.

"Who's Mumururu?"

"Nao...I not remember."

That was it. I was down. I had officially fainted for the second time in my whole life. I just couldn't handle it anymore. Nothing was going right..nothing was happening in a way that SHOULD have been binded by REALITY! Raise the white flag gentlemen. The hyperactive klutzy lass wins this one. And so, I fell unconscious. My last coherent thought, as my head fell onto the polished marble floors, was...

Am I leaving my safekeeping to HER?!

Ok, so I lied. Hearing that one thought echo in my brain made me realize that...LIKE I WOULD! I straightened back up as fast as I could, but Nao, actually believing my faint, had started pouring tears on my head.

"NAAOOOO!! No fall no fall!!" she demanded, slapping me several times in the face. After surviving several reddening whacks, I blew up my sore cheeks and was about to release my outburst on her when the girl howled louder."CPR!! CPR!!"

It seemed she thought me choking to death. At that point in time, with her arm headlocked on my Adam's Apple (which was about the size of a pea), I was sort of becoming asphxiated. The slight paling in my flesh tone drew more alarms to her.

"NAO SAVE YOU!"

Immediately after that cheesy cry of rescue, she pushed me headlong into the painting. I was uttering a cry of protest, expecting my face to hit solid wall, when suddenly, I felt nothing in front of me and air rushing into my ears. My eyes watering, I saw a several-hundred-foot drop waiting anxiously for me. Dear God, I pray to you. If I should die, make sure that you keep this girl well and alive long enough for me to transfer to limbo.

"HOLY SONOFASMIDGEAROT!"

Don't be too prissy over that remark. I was falling to my doom here. There weren't many choices. But, as if some author had applied to me a deus ex machina, a sudden burst came from below. Out of the ground came forth an enormous stream of blue plastic, whipping its way across various paths and cycles. In short, it was a water slide. One too big for my tushie, so to speak.

"Naooo!" the ecstatic female chirped, falling down with me at a greater speed. I didn't even try to figure out how she did it...after all, this girl was beyond physics already. She crash-landed into the slide and started zooming away like one of those leaves that end up trapped in the vortex of a speeding river. And like the speeding leaf, she was unsuspecting of the great fall that loomed ahead. At least...there should be a great fall right?

Wrong.

Instead, she looped up into a huge spiral, much like roller coaster, just as I hit rock-bottom. Yes, it was made of rocks; they were surprisingly soft. Feeling like I was grazing my butt on styrofoam, I followed her lead and was forced into an excursion of continuous manhandling of my intestines and stomach. I reckon that, had I not been served cooked cereal half my life, I would have chucked it right then and there.

"WHERE DOES THIS GO!"

"Nao!!"

Typical.