When all turns cold

“I didn’t think you’d come,” she said softly. Her brown hair was tossed and messed from the wind. Her white ballet flats were in her hand as she sat on the one-foot concrete wall that separated the boardwalk from the sand. Her feet dangled over the edge, her toes barely just touching the sand.

“Why not?” the young man asked with a small grin as he sat down next to her. He looked out into the glassy ocean. It seemed to be a blue stone that could never be disturbed from its position, almost begging someone to come and cause ripples to fan out in its cold waters.

“I thought you were ignoring me.”

“You’d do the same if you were me,” he frowned. Then he began to laugh. Laughter was always the easiest way out of awkward moments like this, he decided.

“Just so you know, I didn’t invite you here because I love you. I just wanted to talk,” the girl said, unable to look the blue-eyed boy in his misty eyes. Instead, she chose to stare out into the ocean.

“I know. I didn’t think you still loved me,” the boy coughed, tried to hide the shaking in his voice.

“Good,” she said softly, leaving the two sitting in silence. A gust of wind brought the smell of salt water to her nose. She wrinkled her face in the presence of the unpleasant smell. He cracked a smile at her funny expression. Other than that, there was total silence.

“The beach is empty,” he said dumbly, unable to keep quite for long before breaking under stress.

“It’s the middle of January.”

“I know. But I saw people out here once when it was snowing. Granted, there weren’t many people. It just feels weird to be the only people here.”

“There’s a couple,” she nodded to two young people walking along the boardwalk, linking hands. The two stopped and the boy leaned against a lamppost to rest. The girl wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and leaned her head up to face him, looking him in the eyes. He looked down and smiled. He began to say something to her. But the two teenagers were too far away to hear them.

“What you think their talking about?” the teenage boy asked.

“Us?” she said jokingly, “I don’t know. Probably sweet-nothings.”

“That used to be us.”

“Don’t say that,” the wispy brown-haired girl said as she stood up and began to walk on the concrete wall, holding her arms out for balance. She looked like a little kid as she walked up the wall. The two couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t fall,” he said in response, standing up to follow the girl as she walked down the beach this way.

She turned to stick her tongue out at him. But as though meeting her own irony, she felt her foot twist as she turned and slipped. Her eyes went blank as she felt herself fall, her heart rising to her throat.

But before her left foot even left the wall, the boy caught her mid fall and helped her back onto the wall, “What did I just say?” he laughed.

She sat back down, frustrated for no real reason, “Thanks,” she mumbled, unaware of what else to say. She hugged her pink sweater closer to her, as the cold wind rushed around the two.

“Once upon a time, I told you that I’d always catch you when you fall,” he reminded her, standing in front of her, his feet digging into the sand.

“Always the charmer, aren’t you?” the girl asked jokingly.

“I don’t look like I’m trying too hard, do I?”

The girl felt a laugh escape her breath. She clamped her hand over her mouth, not wanting to laugh at any of his corny jokes anymore.

“See? You are falling back in love with me.”

“Now you are trying too hard.”

“What’s a guy to do?” he asked with a laugh and a shrug, “You can’t win them all I guess. We can still be friends, we’re good at that.”

“That reminds me of a line in a song: ‘And after it ends, we'll try to be friends. They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are’,” she said, “Or something like that.” She liked to quote song lyrics, especially from her favorite songs. She tried not to make a habit out of it, but it happened anyway.

“That’s true. At least with me anyway. You’re leaving didn’t kill me. But it made me who I am.”

The girl raised an eyebrow and almost snorted in laughter, “How so?”

“Let’s see: I am tired, I am lonely, and I am still in love with you.”

The girl looked down at the ground, “Its cold,” she said softly, feeling shame heat in her face.

“It’s January,” the boy said mockingly. He ran his finger through his curly blonde hair and sat next to the girl, “It’s also really sunny today.”

“Great observation,” the girl responded sarcastically. She was regretting inviting him to the beach. She wanted to get everything off of her chest. But it was getting more and more uncomfortable with every word uttered. She stood up, ready to go back to her car. She just wanted to go home now. She was regretting this.

“It’s just, I think it’s ironic.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I feel like it should be raining,” he sighed, looking back at her as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame the wind-blown mess, “You leaving?”

“Yeah,” she said, walking back to the car.

The boy stood up as well. She stopped walking and looked at him for a long time. The two stared at each other, losing all ability to utter words. The boy leaned in and planted his lips to hers, “Please drive safe,” he begged of her.

She touched her lips and looked to the ground. It was the very last kiss; a kiss so cold it met the bitter wind of the winter’s day. She looked back up, but was unable to meet the gaze of a boy she loved no longer, “Good-bye.”