it’s 220 am and i left they’re house about 4 hours ago. my hair is still wet from the rain because it was in a bun and i’m still in the clothes i borrowed from him because mine were to wet to wear at all. my sweatshirt and jeans were so heavy with rain that when i pealed down to my leotard outside his bedroom under the awning i felt pounds lighter. i keep smelling the t-shirt because it smells like him. clean boy is one of my favorite smells. the shirt that is fitted on him is baggy on me, which is surprising considering how thin he is- that makes me feel like a little child. and the shorts, the shorts are so big and baggy the crotch almost comes to my knees and the legs come down past the middle of my calves.

i’m listening to the rain, the rain that pelted us as we walked down ventura, the rain that created rivers along the sides of every street that my friend, his brother, picked me up and put me in to, the rain that jumped along with us on the trampoline, the rain that kissed us as we kissed each other. everything about this evening was just light and fun and like every other time- perfect. he carried me on his back in the rain for two blocks while i held the umbrella over both of us. he would have carried me farther but i made him put me down because his shirt had scooted, showing his back and i was worried he’d get sick. when we were all on the trampoline, he jumped right next to me while i was sitting so that i went flying into the air. when only he and i were on the trampoline, he pulled me on top of him and squeezed me, complaining of cold and snuggling up close and then kissing me in the rain.

it may not have been a life changing night but right now at 235 am when my hair is still wet from the rain and i’m wearing borrowed clothes that smell like him, it just seems really right.