Jordan’s hands trembled as his eyes feasted on the sight of blood that dripped from his fingers. He drew short shaky breaths and tried to wake up his mind, but it refused to see what he had just done. Jordan didn’t wish to see it himself.

Crimson stained his hands and clothes and there was no avoiding it. Devastation and regret closed in around him, seeming to close his throat. I had to do it… he thought. There was no other option…

Even though he tried to justify his radical actions, he screamed curses and words that should never be said out loud to himself as his mind finally woke up to take in what he had done. But there was no going back now. This man was dead, and Jordan was the one who had killed him.

“Jordan!” a girl’s sweet voice shattered the memory and jerked Jordan back into reality. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jordan’s eyes slowly opened. The figure of his beyond-perfect girlfriend stood before him with her hand resting on her hip. “Shiloh-sama…” Jordan muttered in an inaudible voice. The world around him slipped back into focus and he shook the remains of the memory from his head. “Is… school over yet?”

“Nope. We still have two more years to go,” Shiloh said with a wry grin.

Jordan sighed; now was a bad time for Shiloh’s sarcasm. “I mean of today Shiloh-sama,” he said.

“Hasn’t even started yet,” Shiloh said, outstretching her hand for Jordan.

For the first time, Jordan realized he was lying on the ground. Still unsure of exactly how he got there, he took Shiloh’s hand and rose to his feet.

“I got kind of worried about you, Jordan. Sam said you just collapsed over here and refused to wake up. He was about to call the paramedics…”

Jordan shook his head. “There’s no need for that, I promise. Nothing to be afraid of,” he said with a reassuring smile. Even after all these years, Shiloh’s fear of doctors still had never faded.

Shiloh swung hers and Jordan’s hand as she led them toward the large white building they called a high school. Only seconds after they passed through the gates, the warning bell shrieked at the students to make their way to their homeroom classes.

Jordan’s mind crawled through the first ten minutes of homeroom, fading in and out of consciousness. Temporary blackouts came regularly to him, but were still beyond his tolerance. He knew what happened when he blacked out, and it usually resulted in disaster. And he could feel the voice in his head hissing its sins and ridiculous taunts, wanting to take over and plunge him into darkness.

It had been happening more often than it usually did, and the thought of his other personality’s elevating violence sent chills down his spine. His other mind had no name; Jordan was far too afraid to really give him his own identity. It was bad enough that he had to hear the demonic whisper every time he closed his eyes or lost his train of thought and he thanked God that he was never able to see his face when he changed. But that was the only thing he was unaware of about his other state of mind.

He could hear every plan, every kill, every wicked thought of destruction that his Other brought to attention. None of his own thoughts were hidden from his Other and nothing good that he thought of was left untwisted.

The school bell rang again and Shiloh pushed through her usual crowd of fawners to Jordan’s desk. “Come on Jordan,” she said. She grazed Jordan’s cheek with her icy hand and rested it at the bottom of his jaw, turning his face up to look at hers.

“Oh… Yeah…” Jordan slid his books into his arms and walked with Shiloh to her locker.

“Bad night?” Shiloh asked.

“Yeah… I can’t stay focused today…” Jordan replied with a slow shake of his head.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Damien…” Jordan admitted.

“Oh.”

Jordan knew that was the final word that would be spoken of the subject. Shiloh didn’t want to think about Damien’s sudden death any more than he did.

To make everything worse, he heard Shiloh’s cry of delight, which only meant one thing; Cory Strife.

Against his better judgment, Jordan tore his eyes away from Shiloh to stare his rival in the face. He had to admit, there was nothing wrong with Cory… except for the fact that he made everybody radiate with jealousy and complete awe.

Every girl loved Cory; there was no reason not to. They would jump through hoops to see him smile at them. Every tooth was perfectly aligned and caught the light, even when the world around him was pitch black. His crystal blue eyes shone with elegance and sincerity in any situation and he had a personality to match. He never said a hateful word to anybody, no matter how much they got on his nerves…and it sickened Jordan to the core.

Jordan was also beautiful, but, unlike Cory, his beauty was intimidating instead of godlike. He had flawless porcelain skin set against his sharp brown eyes and nearly black hair that chopped off just above his eyes. He was very well structured and had strength beyond any normal sixteen year old boy, but he concealed it under black long sleeved shirts, loose pants, and tight wristbands. His wristbands, on the other hand, had a purpose more important than that.

Shiloh flung her arms around Cory’s neck and momentarily pressed her lips to his cheek.

Cory retuned the gesture and added one of his smiles that could make angels stare in admiration. He leaned forward in a bow to Jordan and returned his gaze to Shiloh. “Have you seen Chazz anywhere?” he asked in a smooth, velvety voice.

Shiloh shook her head and made her glossy almond-colored hair flutter around her shoulders. “Not since yesterday,” she replied.

“He’s in the courtyard,” Jordan said spontaneously. He had no idea how he knew Cory’s boyfriend Chazz was in the courtyard, but he knew that he wasn’t wrong. His Other was never wrong.

Cory flashed a smile at Jordan. “Thanks,” he said as he turned to leave the hallway.

“I’m going that way too,” Shiloh said. She slipped her arm under Cory’s and walked with him to the courtyard.

Jordan’s chest burned with jealousy and he followed Cory’s movement with hateful eyes. He knew Cory and Shiloh weren’t involved with each other in that way, but his soul caught on fire every time he saw Shiloh with him.

His Other was also riddled with jealousy of anyone who got too close to Shiloh. He had already tried to kill Cory once, only succeeding in giving him a severe concussion and, ironically, it happened in a hospital. The sole reason Cory didn’t have his head knocked clean off his shoulders was because his Other’s control on Jordan hadn’t been as strong as it was now, and Jordan had no will to take anyone’s life… except his own.

But Cory never held it against Jordan; he knew what was really behind Jordan’s actions. He avoided Jordan a little more than he used to and worried about Shiloh being with him without anyone else around in case something went horribly wrong.

Despite Jordan and his Other’s love for Shiloh, his Other had tried to kill her multiple times. His Other wanted Shiloh to suffer for something that was beyond her control- he wanted Shiloh to pay for him falling in love with her.

The next class inched by just as slowly as homeroom. Jordan managed to hear every word the teacher said even though he wasn’t paying an ounce of attention. That was one of the only redeeming qualities of having dissociativeidentity disorder; he could be aware of everything around him even when he was in complete mental hibernation. It saved him a lot of energy and guaranteed him good grades without paying attention at all.

“Jordan?” the teacher asked.

The voice hissed sixty eight in Jordan’s head and the words passed through Jordan’s lips, answering the question he never really heard.

“See class? Jordan listens so he gets the answers right. Maybe the rest of you should try it,” the teacher said.

Jordan and the voice that told him the answer laughed in unison at the teacher’s stupidity. If only she knew… Jordan thought.

Break finally came and students poured into the courtyard and hallways while some of the seniors left to take their half days. Jordan made his way through the mobs of high school students in search of his girlfriend. Not to his surprise, Shiloh was surrounded by fawners… and Cory. It was times like this that Jordan hated dating the most popular girl in school, but he couldn’t help loving her so he bared the crowds following Shiloh’s every move.

He finally got the last layer of the crowd to part for him and felt their harsh glares on his back as he approached Shiloh. “Come with me Shiloh-sama…” Jordan muttered. He lightly grabbed Shiloh’s arm and led her away from Cory and the rest of the student body. He finally stopped in a deserted hallway and pulled Shiloh into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Shiloh hugged Jordan back and inhaled the sweet smell of his neck. “What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“You know I hate you being with him all the time Shiloh-sama,” Jordan said, following his response with a kiss on Shiloh’s lips.

“He’s been my best friend for thirteen years Jordan. I’m going to hang with him if I want to,” Shiloh said. She held Jordan’s gaze, trying to persuade him with her eyes. “I know you don’t like him, but just be nice. Please?”

Jordan sighed. He could never say no to Shiloh. “Fine… I’ll try,” he mumbled in surrender.

“That’s all I ask for,” Shiloh said with a bright smile. She raised herself up on her toes and pressed her lips to Jordan’s. After a few seconds, she let herself back down. “Are you still coming over after school?” she asked.

The voice hissed at Jordan to say no. Blow her off… it hissed. We have no business there.

Jordan pulled the corner of his mouth up into one of his rare smiles. “Of course I will…” he said, “as long as your parents don’t give me the death stare all night like last time.”

Shiloh sighed and rolled her eyes. “We won’t even be around them,” she reassured him.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” Jordan said quickly. He knew too well what would happen if they were alone together and he refused to risk that with her again.

“You worry too much,” Shiloh said.

“More like I’m too reckless. I could never be too worried about this.”

“Hey, I’ve lived this far haven’t I?”

“Barely…” Images of Shiloh’s encounters with his Other flashed through his mind, tearing him apart. He gently took Shiloh’s right arm and turned it over to reveal a pink line carved into her flawless skin from a few inches above her wrist up to her elbow. “Remember this?” he asked. He locked eyes with Shiloh and traced the line with the tip of his finger. “I won’t let that happen again.”

Shiloh jerked her arm out of Jordan’s grasp. “That was my own fault,’’ she snapped. But they both knew the truth: Jordan had lost control and his Other had dragged a blade through Shiloh’s arm for the sheer joy of watching her nearly bleed to death.

Jordan shook the memory from his thoughts. “I’d rather have your parents glaring at me; that I can deal with. You getting hurt by him again… not so much,” he said. He tucked a lock of Shiloh’s hair behind her ear and smiled again. “I love you.”

Shiloh stood on her toes again and kissed Jordan. “Love you too.”

They spent the rest of their break talking in hushed tones in the deserted hallway. Jordan wasn’t a people person anymore for obvious reasons, so the less people around him the better. But he made sure that he was never truly alone with anyone. The sound of the occasional frustrated sigh from a classroom reassured Jordan that there were still people in the hall that could hear them if things got out of hand.

Jordan looked up at Shiloh after several minutes of playing with her fingers. He said nothing, just looked into her glittering emerald eyes.

“What?” Shiloh asked.