Come with me, O my love, to where the flowergolds bloom

We’ll drink peas and whiskey through a curlicue straw

I’ll build you a palace of leaves, love and lint

With a moat filled with acid and lava

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Come with me to my boat, we’ll sail out to the desert

We’ll dig up a cactus and teach it to walk

We’ll frolic with dragons, and worship strange gods

And our children will all have goatees

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Come with me, O my heart, I shall marry you thrice

And make love to you till you explode

I’ll dress you like Hitler and jerk off while you dance

And we’ll drink peas and whiskey through a curlicue straw

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There’ll be those who oppose us, ‘tis certain and true

But we’ll take on all comers and fight back-to-back

You with brass knuckles and I with my chain

We’ll make a mound of their corpses that touches the sky

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We’ll bash them and smash them and kill them and hurt them

We’ll bite them and kick them and chop them and slay them

We’ll crush them with stones till they puke up their guts

Then we’ll take the stones off them and hang them by their guts and set them on fire, then right before they die cut them down and torture them with power tools and their blood will splash all over us (you’ll be so beautiful!) and we’ll cut off pieces of their bodies and eat them while they’re still alive then we’ll drain their blood into a bucket and shove their evil, disgusting faces in it and make them sputter and drown in a pool of their own vile, putrid, EVIL blood oh God I hate them SO MUCH I want to KILL EVERYONE!!!!!

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So come with me, O my sweet, I will love you forever

And further than that if I can

I’ll tattoo your whole body life-sized on my own

So that everyone knows that I’m yours

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I’ll swing in on a vine, catch you up in my arms

And we’ll fly through the Barrows of Time

With you in my arms and gold crowns on our heads

To that patch forgotten where the flowergolds bloom

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We’ll sing with Sri Krishna! We’ll jam with Kid Rock!

Lesbians will be thrown like confetti!

But then we’ll take our leave, for tonight is our own

And we’ll drink peas and whiskey through a curlicue straw.