I chew pens that aren't mine and return them.
I hold my fingers up to the blackboard
not to scratch down, just to watch your face.
I lie to everyone, all the time.

I drink beer for the taste.
I purge myself to keep sober.
I refuse to get my drivers license,
I can't be bothered to be a designated driver.

I say that drugs are bad and that smoking kills.
I make fun of ravers and house music.
I snort crushed ecstasy tablets when I'm bored
and chain smoke Marlbaros when I'm high.

I buy designer fakes and pretend they're real.
I borrow clothes that I never return.
I'd tap your boyfriends ass.
I like your favourite bands earlier stuff.

I belong to True Love Waits.
I slept with the pastors son.
I forget birthdays and make up stupid excuses.
I love real fur.

I never tell people how much I hate them and
most people say I'm the nicest person they know.