Don’t give out, don’t give up
One of these nights, you might find someone to love.

Someone to Love, Fountains of Wayne

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When Laurence went over to Chyler and Drew’s apartment to look for Drew at seven o’clock the following morning, the apartment was empty. Laurence frowned to himself. Drew and Laurence visited Chyler together twice a week – once on Tuesdays, once on Fridays. And there weren’t a lot of places Drew would go on a Saturday morning.

Maybe something had happened to Chyler, Laurence realised. He turned back and ran to the door. When he opened the door somebody in front of him yelled. He yelled too, but shut up when he realised that it was Drew. “Where’ve you been? I was about to go to the hospital!”

Drew shrugged and held up a paper bag from a fast food restaurant. “I wanted to get breakfast since there was nothing in the house,” he explained. Laurence raised his eyebrows, because he’d always thought that Drew was the one who did the groceries. Drew understood. “Chyler and I normally do the groceries together. Even if I’m the one who’s paying all the time,” he muttered under his breath.

“How did it go after I left yesterday?” Laurence asked absent-mindedly. He didn’t want to talk about Vanessa just yet.

Drew shrugged again. Laurence sighed – he was monosyllabic today. Something must have happened last night. He draped his jacket on the back of his seat and sat down. “What happened?” he pressed, hoping for luck. It wasn’t easy, though – Chyler and Drew were pretty much a closed circle.

“Nothing much. She was getting really tired and visiting hours were over anyway so she just went to her room soon afterwards and slept and I came home,” Drew answered. He said it calmly and quickly, taking a bite out of his hamburger hungrily.

Laurence sighed. He couldn’t fight off the urge to ask another question, one that he had asked many times before.“Is there really nothing going on between you two?” he asked for what seemed like the millionth time. Drew nodded calmly, as he always did when Laurence asked the question. Drew stared at him. Laurence knew somehow that this was his way of asking about Vanessa. “Malcolm said they’re going out again soon.”

“When? And do you know why she changed her mind?” Drew studied him closely, grabbing a French fry. He offered one to Laurence, who shook his head. “You haven’t eaten breakfast.” It was a statement, not a question. Laurence looked at him quizzically, and Drew shrugged once more. “I can hear your stomach growling.”

He was ever so observant. Laurence took one. “They were discussing his art the entire time, apparently. He knows Vanessa’s been going out on dates with other guys. He doesn’t like it, but I think he’s pretty sure that he can change her mind.”

Drew chewed on his French fry thoughtfully. “I don’t think it was a date,” he said decidedly. Laurence looked at him. Drew sighed. “Stop looking at me like that,” he snapped irritably.

“Are you sure nothing happened between you and Chyler?” Laurence felt obligated to go back to that subject. His sister wasn’t that bad. “Didn’t you ever feel something for her?” He asked impatiently.

Drew looked away, thinking. There was a long pause before he moved again – he covered his mouth and shook violently with laughter. His eyes fell on Laurence and they widened as Drew placed an index finger on Laurence’s shoulder. “Do not repeat what I am about to tell you to her,” he said solemnly. Laurence frowned; he had never seen Laurence so serious before.

“It wasn’t exactly a secret, because we told each other afterwards,” Drew began slowly, as if taking care of what to – and what not to – tell Laurence. “Back then, we were kids – barely fourteen – and we liked each other. We told each other that we had liked one another back on Valentine’s day the year we were fifteen going on sixteen. Then she met a guy, but they broke up after nearly a year.”

Laurence’s frown deepened. “I never knew she’d met a guy.”

Drew sighed. “She was really secretive about it. I was one of the three people who knew, and I had to find that out myself.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal; we both dated other people for a while, and then we drifted apart. But I always thought that if we landed in the same university together, I’d ask her to give all that potential just one shot.” He paused, giving Laurence time to think. Laurence opened his mouth, but couldn’t find the right words, so he closed it again.

“We did get into in the same university, but for the first year… Let’s just say that she wasn’t happy. I figured that a relationship was the last thing she needed, so I told myself I’d wait. I dated other girls, but we never made it past the first or second date. Suddenly, one of the nights, she told me that she loved me – platonically – and would never leave me if she could. That was when I decided that enough was enough. I gave up then and there.”

He leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling, as if Laurence were no longer in the room with him. “I’m happy with the way things are,” he said, almost to himself. “She’s happy. I get to see her every day, first thing in the morning, last thing every night. I love her and she’s happy, and that’s enough,” Drew turned back to Laurence. “You know?”

There was a long pause as Laurence tried to digest all that information. It didn’t work. He laughed softly and looked Drew in the eye. “I don’t,” he said simply. “I don’t understand how you can just pretend that you don’t feel anything for her every single day when you see her day in, day out.” He grabbed his jacket. “I won’t let that happen to Vanessa,” he said, determined.

Drew fought hard to keep a rueful smile from forming on his lips. He’d lied; it wasn’t enough. He just didn’t want Laurence to know. “Shut the door behind you, please,” he called after Laurence. Laurence slammed it instead.