One day there was a little cucumber named Alyssa. The next day, Alyssa was a pickle. Alyssa was a sad little pickle. She was a pickle that wanted to become a rabbit. So she took a walk to keep herself from writing anything else on the walls (cough).

Alyssa the pickle ran around the woods at three in the morning until she tripped and fell. The poor little pickle rolled down the hill until she saw a field of rabbits.

“MY BUNNEH!” yelled a red headed girl running after the rabbits. She was wearing a tee shirt that said ‘Will Flash 4 Food’.

PLEASE HOLD WHILE AMBER LOOKS UP FROM THIS AND SAYS ‘NIIIIICE’

(yes, that’s just how much I know you :D)
Anyways, now that I have yet, ANOTHER bruise, we’ll continue one with the story.

Amber ran around and chased the rabbits. Alyssa, just to see if Amber would notice, bounced around the field like a rabbit.

“Look!” Amber pointed. “A drunken pickle!”

“WHERE?!” Just then, Nicole stumbled out from the trees holding the biggest bottle of alcohol Alyssa had ever seen.

“DID I TELL YOU YOU COULD COME OUT HUR?!” Amber shouted, pointing to her. “You BEST get yo butt back in dem trees!” She warned.

“I ain’t gunna take dis crap…”

“Yes you are!” Amber pulled out the whip and Alyssa took a step backwards out of fear. Then took two steps forward because she could have SWORN there was a shiny nickel in the grass.

Nicole stumbled back into the trees mumbling something about the sneaky squirrels and about how the silverware paid more. As soon as she got behind the trees, Alyssa caught a glimpse of something that resembled Shrek streaking across the field.

“Shrek?!” Amber called out. Just then all the rabbits died.

“Nope, must’ve been Brandon.” Alyssa clarified.

“OMFG!!!” Amber exclaimed. “I am TOTALLY missing pokemon! I must watch him Catch ‘em all! Because he should be twenty by now, but he’s still only ten! And who the heck lets their kid travel cross-country at that age?! He could get raped by that mysterious goat, Pete!!”

Alyssa turned and blinked at her. “I tried to remember what I forgot, but then got lost and forgot that I was trying to remember what I forgot so I decided to forget that.” Amber lifted her foot to try and kick Alyssa, but stopped short.

“Oh no.” She dragged Alyssa to the grocery store a few thousand miles away and they stopped in front of the food with a basket.

Alyssa flipped through the yellow boxes. “We’ll need lunchables. Lots and lots of lunchables. Oh, and we’ll need to pick up some cheese wiz for the cat.”

Amber eyed Alyssa – more like checked her out (Author nods with a dirrrrty smile) “You got a cat?” Amber asked flatly. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Before Alyssa could answer, Nicole stumbled down the aisle, tapping old people on their backs and running away. Then she proceeded to the frozen food aisles and knocked on the glass doors, running away before anyone could answer.

“OMG! I LEFT MY NICKLE IN THE MEADOW!!” Alyssa cried and hopped out the door, which is hard for a pickle.

But after getting to the meadow, she found someone already sitting there. The strange character sat there, cross-legged with a list. A list, of names…

“…Yes, he’ll need to go too…Oh, her too, definitely. She’s an obnoxious (dirty word)…” She read of the names. Then broke into song… “IF I HAD DOLLAR, I’D HAVE A BUCKET OF PEOPLE WHO TOLD ME TO GET THE TRUCK FROM THE CART OF FOOD WHICH HAD RUN AWAY FROM DAH POPO!!”

As Alyssa hopped around to the other side, to see this chicks face. He read her shirt. It said “YouTube myspace and I’ll google your Yahoo”

“OMFG! You’re…oh…nope…It’s just Amber again…”

PLEASE HOLD, AGAIN, WHILE AMBER LOOKS UP, SAYS SOMETHING, READS THIS AND THEN DOES IT AGAIN…

Alyssa was disappointed. She thought she had left her at the store. Just then, Nicole came running out of the forest screaming her head off, until she tripped on Amber, who had stuck her leg out in front of her.

“OMFG! Alyssa! I have the perfect outfit for you!” Came another voice. This time it was Dana the Talking Chree and his…er…girl/boyfriend (we are not sure of its orientation at the moment. Do not worry, the test results come back SOON!) MILKYPOO! (A.K.A. Dalton)

Milkypoo flew in and then tripped over a mangled bunny corpse. “What did you DO to them?!” He asked. Amber smiled with a dirrrrty grin. (Author has dirrrrty grin too)

“I wanted some lucky rabbit’s feet so I had them stick a pencil in a light socket, and then throw the pencil at the ceiling and then touch people with the pencils, so the boogieman came and ripped all their legs off, among many other (dirrrrty grin) things he did to them…” Amber explained. “But he ended up getting blood on the legs,” She scowled. Just then, a flying purple golf cart came out of nowhere and crashed into Dana the Talking Chree.

“OMFG! HOLY (bad word) A FLYING PURPLE GOLF CART CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND JUST CRASHED INTO DANNY!” Nicole yelled, throwing dirt clods at Milkypoo.

Alyssa and I smacked Nicole on the back of the head.

“His NAME is DANA” Alyssa shouted at the same Time I, the uber amazing, super wonderful narrator, said:

“I just said that! YEAH! I GET MY OWN CHATTY DIALOGUE THING! WHOOOT!” Nicole runs up to the narrator and glomps her. “Aww, I love you too.”

Amber got mad. “MY HOE!!” She pulled out Pablo Paperclips, the whip.

“WEEEEOOOOOOEEEEEOOOOOO!” Suddenly, Sandy ran into the field, a flashing light on her forehead. She pulled out a rock wrapped in a slice of bread. “We got a code 568purpleQ9Oprah. Psychotic rabbit killer with a weapon.” Chhhhhhhh.

“Bring on the cinnamon altoids.” A voice on the other end replied.

“NOO! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” Alyssa screamed, grabbing amber by the hair and Nicole by the tail, she dragged them out of the meadow and shoved them into her closet.

“Sittin’ here in the closet,” Nicole sang,” Won't come out of the closet.” She paused and Alyssa and Amber stared at her.

“SO I PULL OUT MY GUN! BETTER COME OUT ‘FORE I SHOOT SOMEONE!!”

-x-x-x-x-

A/N: OMFG! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!