|You, My Friend, Are Dreadfully Mistaken
Author: Carnivale PM
Jack Spade's life consists of stalking Ronnie, starting riots in his debate class, dreaming about Ronnie, attacking George Fischer, and trying to convince Ronnie that they DO, IN FACT, have a relationship. [slash.]Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,517 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 12-14-08 - Published: 02-01-08 - id: 2470563
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I love you guys! I was trapped chipping at a giant writer's block for A REALLY FREAKING LONG TIME. As you could probably tell. I planned to update this on November 11 (because that was my birthday!) but it didn't work out that way... Now that stats page is working again (hallelujah) and I checked, and I got seventeen reviews on the last chapter. ((faints)) So I was very inspired.
"What the FUCK just happened?!"
Everyone turns to stare at me. Shit. Did I just say that out loud? I've never been good at keeping things to myself...
"So you guys aren't going out?" Danica asks, seeming confused. "I thought that you and Ronnie had been together since, like, eighth grade."
"Really?" I ask, almost grinning before I realize that would be a bad, bad, move. Then I see George's face. He's white as a sheet, and I think it's pretty funny. Maybe I'm just hysterical? Isn't it supposed to be hard to tell?
"And maybe I'm just really observant, but I didn't think you were anywhere near a closet," she says to him. I giggle; I can't help it. He gives me a glare, the sort that actually scares you. His expression says, 'I plan to gouge your eyes out with a fork,' and that sounds unpleasant. My eyes are nice, I like them.
I throw my hand in the air. "Ms. Hendersen?" I call. She looks up from her US Weekly, and I ask, "Can I go to the bathroom?"
"Sure." I get up and run out the door, because I can feel Fischer's eyes burning a hole in my Hannah Montana t-shirt.
I get into the hallway and start strolling down towards the water fountain. Hm. If I was a distraught, gorgeous blonde, where would I be hiding? Fortunately, I know this blonde very well. I head straight for the boy's bathroom on the other side of the building.
Sure enough, I get there and he's sitting against the wall, eyes closed.
"Hey, cupcakes!" I cry. He jerks, opening his eyes and sitting up.
"I'm busy being angry with you. Go away."
"Oh, you can't stay mad at me! Heck, I can't stay mad you. I saw you making out with my mortal enemy, and I'm not even mad anymore! Yay! Do you really have a crush on me?"
He gives me that look. You know the one, the be-serious one. The well-that's-a-big-painful-duh one. Oh.
"Y'know, Jack, even if you are 'creepily obsessed' with me, you should have told me."
"You didn't tell me!"
"I thought it was obvious!"
"NO ONE ON THIS PLANET IS LESS SUBTLE THAN ME!" I shout, to prove my point. "You're just too self-conscious to accept that someone might think something nice about you!" Oh, I'm so very smart.
"You're too busy thinking about how great you are to notice me!"
"Well, in my defense, Ronston, I'm pretty great."
He throws a book at me. "OI! Uncalled for much?!"
"Leave me alone!" he screeches.
"Jeez, you're like an emo Greta Garbo."
"Go away or I'LL KILL YOU!" Lawl. I always laugh when he threatens me. Unfortunately, my laughing doesn't help the situation, and he throws a pencil case that hits me smack dab on the forehead.
"Ouch!" I yelped. "Dude! Make awkward sexual advances, not war!"
He paused for a second, then burst out laughing. Can't stay mad at me, as I said.
"You are retarded," he shook his head.
"You are offensive. And if you like me so much, why were you making out with Fischer in the hall?"
"I'll bet. Nothing could be worse than kissing that THING."
"No, I mean... I thought you liked him, and I figured if he liked me, then you'd give up on him and notice me."
"That's pretty embarrassing. I'm not gonna lie."
"Alright, well, enough maturity! We are now lovers. And we are going to skip the rest of the day and go to lunch at Wendy's."
"It's way better than fast food! Well, not really. But going to MacDonald's seems a little lowbrow, even for us."
Wendy's fries are delicious. I realize that I could lose those extra pounds I've told you about if I really tried, but one of my great joys in life is eating junk food. I'm stuffing my face with my fries and Ronnie's fries, because he's a skinny freakazoid, and I'm considering ordering more of them. LOVE IT.
The answer is yes. I'm kinda-sorta officially going out with the man of my dreams, the love of my life, my Edward Cullen, all that- and I'm thinking about french fries. I'm guessing that by this point you're not surprised.
"You're disgusting. This is like feeding time in the zoo."
"Am I a lion of a hippo? On second thought, don't answer that."
"You're more of a lion right now- You're being pretty violent with those poor fries."
"Oh good. You know hippos kill more people a year than lions, on average?"
"Yes, Jack. I'm the one who told you that. In those exact words."
"You're a smart lad." I swirl a fry through ketchup and then devour it. Tastey, as Fergie would say.
"So are we, like... a couple?" he asks.
"Sure thing, angelface."
Excuse me?! Just 'cool'? I look up, all ready to bring down the THUNDER, and see that he's smiling down at his burger. Well, if that isn't just the cutest thing I've ever seen.
"You know, Ronnie, I might kiss you right now, but I'm afraid of getting George's cooties."
"It's good to know you're mature."
Oh, screw it. Getting the cooties is worth it. I grab his nose ("Ow!"), yank him across the table, and kiss him smack on the lips. Even better, he kisses me back. (Squeee!)
Ladies and gentlemen, I feel like my heart is on some kind of hallucinogenic drug, riding a carousel spinning at about sixty-six thousand miles an hour.
Oh yes. It's THAT good.
EEE! I like how kisses are from Jack's perspective. XD If it seems a little strange, well, you know why.
Yeah! One. More. Chapter. And then I'm done. I'm pretty excited for this. Goodness. Anyway! Leave me a review as a late-birthday present, please! Seven more and I hit the triple-digits o-o (This is just shocking to me.)