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Teardrops on My Guitar:
Written by CaliGirls.AtHeart
Every time he looks at me, I swear that I’m going to melt. His eyes are this gorgeous shade of green with brown flecks in them. I feel like I’m drowning in them every time I look into them. But those feeling of mine should be hidden. He’s not into me and he doesn’t like me that way. We are just best friends. We always have been. From day one.
So he has this girlfriend. She’s absolutely gorgeous. She’s tall and skinny. Model skinny. She’s got this long, wavy, brown hair that goes perfectly with her. She has big bright blue eyes that are very deep and intriguing. She has really good fashion taste and is just perfect in every way. I’m not exactly her exact opposite, but close enough. I’m tall and I have blonde hair. It’s thick and really hard to manage. I have these bushy eyebrows and my eyes are kinda dull. My hair is droopy and is flat. I have pretty good fashion sense but its not like her’s. I’m normal sized, but not skinny like Natasha.
Trust me, I know. Graham talks about Natasha all the time. He’s always gushing about her. It’s so sickening. But since I’m his best friend, I have to plaster a fake smile on my face so that he doesn’t find out that I’m green with jealousy. I’ve always imagined us going out and how perfect we are for each other. I’m crazy in love with him.
Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny,
But I can't even see anyone when he's with me,
He says he's so in love, he's fin'lly got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night...
I’ve been in love with him for two years. I was dating some other guy. He eventually got jealous of my relationship with Graham. He said that I was in love with him, so he broke up with me. Since then, I’ve admitted that I’m in love with him, and I haven’t dated any one since. No one has caught my eye. Since I’m so in love with him, I can’t seem to get him out of my head. I think about him when I wake up in the morning. I dress myself with the intent of impressing him. I know that it’s useless, but still, I do it. When I go to sleep, he’s all I think about. Thinking about him somehow lures me to sleep where I dream about him.
Graham is absolutely the funniest guy that I’ve ever met. He tells the funniest jokes that make my side hurt from laughing so much. He makes funny faces and does the weirdest things. He’s the one person that can put me in a good mood when I’m mad. The only time that he can put me in a sour mood, is when he talks about how much he’s in love with Natasha and how this is his first girlfriend that he hasn’t screwed and then dumped because she’s real and not a slut. If she wasn’t his girlfriend, I would call her a slut anyways.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...
One of my passions is playing the guitar. It soothes me and calms me down. I like to write songs and play them on my guitar. I go home and lock myself in my room and just write and play all night. It always seems that I do that when Graham has a date with Natasha. That’s pretty much every night, so I have this big binder full of lyrics. Only about half of them have music to go with them. I never play my songs for anybody. Not many people know that I play the guitar. Graham doesn’t even know that I write songs. I don’t have the best voice, but it’s pretty good.
I remember the day that Graham told me that he and Natasha were officially going out. I fake smiled and pretended to be happy for him. A part of me was truly and genuinely happy. That was only a small part of my heart. Like a heart valve or something. So I rushed home and ran up the stairs with tears streaming down my face. I locked myself in my room and started to play a song that I had written for him and about how much I loved him. Tears stained the paper and hit my guitar. They just kept coming and coming and didn’t stop. I ended up falling asleep crying on my guitar.
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be,
She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause...
I hate how whenever Graham hugs me gets near me, I can’t breathe. He makes me loose my breath and get all light headed. And I hate how he walks and looks perfectly relaxed and chill while he does it. I hate how he never has had acne. When I say never, I mean never. He hardly has zits and his face is flawless. I hate how he can make my cry and the same time make me the happiest girl. I hate how he cares about me so much that he would break up with Natasha if I told him that I didn’t like her. I hate how he would drop everything with her to do something with me when I need to hang out with my best friend. I hate how I’m in love with him and that there’s nothing he can do about it since he doesn’t even know.
I hate Natasha. Okay, I don’t hate her as a person, because she’s almost perfect for him. Almost because I think that I’m perfect for him. I hate the fact that she’s his girlfriend. I must say that she’s a pretty good girlfriend. She’s not clingy and she understands that I’m his best friend and that we hang out all the time. She understands that I have priority over her since I’ve known him since forever and that I’m basically his number one girl. She doesn’t get jealous and make him do whatever she wants to do. She’s in love with him so she’ll do anything for him.
As Graham’s best friend, it is my duty to give Natasha the “your dating my best friend speech.” The speech where I threaten to ruin her life if she hurts Graham. I’ve got connections, so I can really ruin her social status and make her the outcast of school. She assured me that she would never hurt him. She better love him and hold on to him, because otherwise, I’m coming in and taking Graham away from her.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...
Don’t you hate it when you hear a song in the car driving home from school and it gets stuck in your head? I heard Britney Spears’ Gimme More the other day and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. I don’t’ know why I keep singing it what not. It’s so annoying. It’s like no matter what you do, it won’t get out of your head. So your stuck singing it for days and days. My undying love for Graham is that way also. I can’t get him out of my head no matter what I try. No other guy makes me light headed and lose my breath when they are around me. I’m starting to think that this is blasted curse.
Everyone has heard the Disney song, When you wish upon a star. It’s from the movie Pinocchio and they play it at Disneyland. I have always believed that if you wish upon a shooting star, that your wish will come true. Whenever I’m out at night, I wish on a wishing star. I always wish for that same thing. I wish that Graham will love me back and make me feel special. I wish that Graham will see me as more than his best friend and his sister. I wish that Graham will break up with Natasha. I wish that I can get over Graham and move on. None of those have come true yet, so I just keep wishing on a star.
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight...
One thing I didn’t tell you, is that I have this one wall in my room that dedicated to pictures and memories of me and Graham together. There are pictures of us together, him by himself, me by myself, him and my family, me and my family, and me and his family. There are ticket stubs of movies we’ve gone to see together, there are random notes that we’ve sent each other, birthday cards, flowers, and basically all of the memories and pictures that we’ve had and taken of together since we’ve been best friends.
For my birthday, he gave me his senior class picture in a picture frame. He gave it to me because he told me that he was always going to be there for me even if he had a girlfriend. He didn’t want me to forget him and he wanted this picture to be constant reminder that we were best friends. Every night, I look at the picture and tell his face that I love him. Every night before I go to sleep, I pick up the picture and kiss him. I hug the picture close to me and cry a few tears. Then I put it down and try to drift off to sleep.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do...
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,
And he's all that I need to fall into..
I try to rid myself of all love that I have for him and forget about my love for him. Each night, I vow to myself to move on and to be happy. But instead, I feel my heart break a little more, bit by bit, piece by piece. He’s my everything and at the same time, he’s nothing.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see...