A Day at the Robot Festival

Jonathan Garrett

"I say, Reginald, that robot appears to be wearing your lederhosen!" Luscious shouted above all the noise.

"Great Scott!!" Reginald exclaimed as he turned his attention to the mechanical play going on at the western stage. "That's the most grotesque scene I believe I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing!"

He said this, although he had long since stopped being surprised by the things he saw going on around him. After that business on the colonial station in quadrant five of the Marshall Nebula, this was quite possibly tame. Nevertheless, it was a particularly good pair of lederhosen and he knew that he would miss it dearly.

Luscious raised his phaser and prepared to put an end to the whole sordid affair.

"Never mind that, Luscious," Reginald said with a loud sigh, "The lederhosen is ruined now and I daresay those androids worked quite hard on their play, you may as well let them finish it, though God knows it’s a horrid abomination of all that’s good and right in the world."

Luscious lowered his weapon and gazed around at the sickeningly fanciful sights that surrounded them. It was enough to make any man go a little bit crazy with a phaser, even if you were not already the sort to do that from time to time. A robotic festival was simply erroneous on so many levels, disturbing even, and it didn't help that they were going around wearing other people's lederhosen and singing songs in that creaky robotic voice of theirs. It was very unnatural and, to be frank, off-putting.

"This whole affair is making me quite queasy," Luscious said, putting his monocle back in place, "What's say we leave this place and find a nice pub somewhere?"

"That sounds like a wondrous idea, Luscious. The drinks will most certainly be on me this time!" Reginald said and soon the two were laughing heartily.

In the distance the robot play came to a close and soon the participants began to exit from the stage accompanied by the metallic clink of several hundred aluminum hands. Soon the rest of the festivities also ended and the lights were turned off. Laying alone on the stage was a single pair of slightly worn, but yet still perfectly serviceable, lederhosen.