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Title: Good God Woman! Would You Put Some Clothes On?
Summary: A Nudist Camp's Girl's Introduction into society. It's Not Pretty.
Author's Note: A little story that's been floating in my head. My friend mentioned something, I can't quite remember what, and the line "Good God Woman! Would You Put Some Clothes On?" popped into my head. This is what came of it. I find this insanely hilarious, I don't know if you will too. Anyways, Read, Enjoy, and Review!
Story Notes: Slight Biblical References. Sorry if it offends anyone, it is not meant to. Believe in what you want to believe. Actually, I'm sorry if any part of this story offends anyone. It's not meant to.
Mary nodded as she ate her breakfast. Dad continued on.
“And, Mary you must always remember that no matter what others say, you are still our special child.”
Mary nodded again and stood up from her chair. The scraping of the chair on the floor was accompanied by the sobs of her mother and father. She walked over and gave them each a kiss on the forehead.
“I’m going to get dressed now.”
Mom and Dad shared a look.
“Our little girl has grown up so much since she ran around in nothing but a diaper.”
“I know, boy do the times go by so fast nowadays.”
Mom nodded her agreement. “They sure do.”
Mary stared at the red-faced girl quizzically. Why was she so angry? Didn’t she know that Mary was special? And why was she so angry about her nudity?
“Why? The human body is beautiful,” Mary replied, confusion etched on her face.
“Yeah, you tell her, babe!”
“Would you like to see my beautiful body, babe?”
Mary stared at the shouting men for a moment. They stood in a corner, huddled together. Sometimes they whispered, most of the time they shouted. Mary was glad to see fellow pro-nudity supporters. The men returned her stare with a stare of their own, except theirs, unlike hers, seemed to wander aimlessly. She turned back to the huffing girl.
“The body was meant to be seen,” Mary said, flipping her long hair over her shoulder to prove her point. The shouting men applauded and whistled their support.
“Yes, which is why normal people wear clothes,” the girl said sarcastically. “And that’s why people who go out in public without proper attire are arrested and fined.”
She received several ‘boos’ and rolled her eyes at the incredulous look on the girl’s face.
“Really?” Mary asked in surprise.
“Really. Note the fact that every one of these people is wearing clothes,” the girl stated, indicating the group of shouting men and the newly formed crowd of spectators.
“Not for long,” one of the men shouted.
“I sure hope that’s a lie,” the girl shot back; “I wouldn’t want to go blind.”
The group of men laughed and cries of ‘Ooh, burn’ could be heard. The girl let a self-satisfied smile cover her face. Meanwhile, Mary felt tears come to her eyes. Pulling herself together, she stood up, determined.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to go change that.”
The crowd erupted in cheers.
At the moment, Lucy watched as Mary interrogated, well more attacked the security guard at the front entrance to the City Court.
“Good God, woman! Would you put some clothes on?”
“No, I will not. Why would I? The human body is a work of art, how dare you try to suppress it? What is wrong with you, you dictatorial bigot!”
The security guard stepped back in shock. Mary took this moment to dash through the doors. Lucy ran past the shell-shocked guard and followed the girl.
The “acting” judge, Alvin, gulped. Being both a defense attorney and a prosecutor, he’d seen a lot of things. But never had he experienced anything like this. The nude girl had barged in, interrupted court proceedings and the case at hand, yet no one had moved to do a thing. Even the guards were too stunned to move. He twisted his tie from side to side. Was it hot in here or was it just him?
“No, that’s, that’s not the problem, Miss. You can’t change the laws, which you are currently breaking, without proper reasons and due process.”
Mary stared at the man, her glare making him burn. He had to focus hard to keep his eyes on her face. It was so difficult not to let them wander to more interesting areas of the girl. What would his mother think of this?
“Good God, woman! Would you put some clothes on?” a large woman in a flower-patterned frock demanded, standing up.
Alvin jumped. Ah, yes, that is what his mother would say. He was more surprised that she hadn’t said it sooner.
“But the human body is-”
“What is your name, young lady?” Alvin’s mother demanded.
“Mary,” Mary squeaked out, cowering at Alvin’s mother’s approaching form. She was most formidable foe Mary had come against all day.
“It’s a shame that you’d do something like this with a name like that. What would your mother say about this?”
Mary piped up slightly. “My mother would agree.”
Alvin’s mother seemed taken aback, but caught herself quickly. “Would she now? Poor woman, someone needs to give her a good talking to. Take me to her.”
And Mary did.
“Thank-you, Jack. Yes, today Nudists everywhere are giving up their ways and coming back into society after today’s strange events. A young woman, Mary Gracen, decided to demand that New York Laws be changed after she was told that it was indeed illegal to walk around in the nude. When reaching the Courthouse, she was stopped dead in her tracks by the acting judge’s, Alvin Peterson, mother. Mrs. Peterson demanded to meet Mary’s parents and it all snowballed from there. Now, Nudists are leaving their camps and putting on clothes as they embrace society once again. The parents of Mary Gracen had this to say on the matter:”
“We’d never known how utterly abominable our acts were until Mrs. Peterson’s wise words helped us see the light. We are extremely grateful to her and we encourage other nudists out there to reform their ways and sign the “I Will Reform” Act in an effort to instate communities that will help others more lost than us to see the light. Once again we are so glad that Mrs. Peterson has helped deliver us from our darkness.”
“And there you have it. I’ll keep you posted with more updates. Back to you, Jack.”
“Thank-you, Maria. Hehe. And to think this all started with the words ‘Good god, Woman! Would you put some clothes on?”
