What Is the Word

I see them together,
And feel many words.
I feel the power,
Yet I feel so weak.
It’s so easy for them,
And yet impossible for me.
Cursed while in the doorway,
Living in a city alone.
Twin swords form an oval,
A second pair in another room.
The two joined together,
And it’s only been a week.
I grabbed the blue book,
The dusty one in the corner.
I had to know the word,
To see if I was right.
Three answers in three rows,
One for, against, and behind.
One said it was to be on watch,
For keeping my heart safe.
The next was a call to rival,
Against that which stood in the way.
And the last as a call,
To be behind is where it needed to be.
What is the word I wish I did not ask,
And this I don’t want to feel anymore.
It’s so hard to watch the two,
And it’s only been a life.