Chapter 4

So for the time being I have been dreaming and wishing that I should tell him and pray that his reaction isn't bad. Cause sometimes I have dreams that has his reaction really good and we end up being a couple. And sometimes I have a dream and his reaction is negative. He doesn't feel the same way. Were better at being friends. I know now that I'm dreaming and wishing about Shawn hoping that he feels the same way for me as I do for him. So now I like have something else that hopefully would support me. What I mean is my mother is dating.

Some of the guys my mom has been seeing is nice. There's this one guy my mom's been out with. He's cool. He's pretty nice, is a good chief, and knows his stuff, My mom likes him a lot. He's cool, he got a nice convertible.

Anyway at school there was a spring dance. Yes a lot of time has passed. And well at that moment I'm hoping that Shawn asks me.

So I'm sitting in my room listening to Brandy. Until my mom calls my name and tells me I have a phone call. So I pick up the phone.

“Hey.” I greeted.

“Hey Nadia.” Shawn's oh so lovely voice greets. “How are you?”

“You know I hate small talk.”

“Okay. You're a girl and the spring dance is coming up so...”

“Are you just now noticing I'm a girl?”

“Of course not.” he said laughing. “I've always noticed. That's beside the point. The spring dance is coming up and I need a date.” was this his way of asking me to the spring dance.

The spring dance was for the underclassman class who weren't able to go to prom. So it's full of freshman and sophomores. A couple of juniors and seniors go, but that is if they're dating an underclassman.

So back to the story. “So what are you asking exactly?”

“I need a date.”

“And...?”

Why was I being difficult? Oh I knew why. Because I wanted him to ask me straight out. If he wanted to go to the spring dance with then he needed to ask.

“Do you think Jewel is interested?”

I was hurt. He wasn't going to ask me. Why did I get hopeful anyway. I knew it... he only thought of me as a friend. “I don't know... why don't you ask her?” I said with a bit of an attitude. “Good bye.” at least I didn't straight hang up without saying good bye.

I called up Edmund. I spilled out my heart to him and told him how I felt. I told him how could he be inconsiderate and not realize that I'd be a great choice? He knew I didn't have a date. God Shawn is so inconsiderate. Why am I in love with him? And then after I said that last line, why am I in love with him, I stopped talking.

“You're in love with him?” Edmund asked.

“Yes.” I admitted. Why lie to him? I wasn't telling Shawn how I felt I might as well tell Edmund, “have been since I first saw him.”

“I knew it.”

“Edmund, what am I going to do?”

“Tell him.”

That wasn't an option for me. Not one at all. “Be my date?”

“Okay.”

So to move on. Brooke, yes her, and I went shopping for dresses. I got a pretty pink dress and she got an orange one. So then on to the dance. Music was good. I looked beautiful so did my date. I had to admit that he did look sexy.

So I wander if I had run into Edmund and not Shawn would the role be reversed. Would I be in love with him? Edmund is just as sexy and sweet as Shawn is, but why not him?

Sorry, didn't mean to get on that tangent. Back to the dance.

So Shawn did go to the dance with Jewel and they looked nice together. Of course I was angered and I had to admit jealous that I drunk from the punch bowl. It tasted funny, but I didn't care. I was too angered to even care.

I watched Jewel and Shawn dance which killed me even more. Edmund knew how I felt. He tried to keep my mind off it. He'd attempt to make me laugh. It didn't work.

So I drunk a lot of that punch. Why am I pointing that out? You'll see.

So I danced with Edmund I also danced with Shawn, but for a nano second.

“Jealousy is really bad.” Edmund said.

“I'm not jealous.” I repeated over and over and over again. Out loud I told him and in my head. I wasn't jealous.

“Oh yes you are.”

So I danced with Edmund for a bit trying to get my mind of Shawn. Didn't work. So after the spring dance us three went to my house.

“I so enjoyed the spring dance. How bout you two?” Shawn asked.

“It was fun.” Edmund answered.

“Great.” I replied. Something was going on with me. That punch had an affect on me. I was walking crazy. Edmund held my waist as we walked into my house. He helped me further when we sat down. “Thank you Edmund. I love you.”

Edmund laughed. “I love you too.”

So all Shawn could talk about was that stupid dance. How he enjoyed spending his time with Jewel and how well they got along. It was bothersome and I just couldn't take it.

“Shut up.” I said.

“What's wrong with you?” Shawn asked.

“Could you just stop talking about thee stupid dance.” I said, my word were slurred. “I mean who cares.”

“Obviously you do.” I heard Edmund mumble.

I ignored his comment. “Are you alright?” Shawn asked concern.

“Just peachy. Fking perfect.” I replied sarcastically. Now was the time for me to be honest with him. “I think you should notice that there is a pretty girl right here you could have took to the the stupid dance. Oh but no you wanted to take Jewel.”

“Nadia you're drunk.” Edmund said trying to shut me up.

“No I'm not.”

Edmund tried to shut me up but it didn't work. “Now I have some questions for you Shawn.” my words were slurred. “Remember when we first met, when you said pretty were just talking about my name or me? Or at the lunch table that same day where you talking about me? Or do you really think of me as just a friend? Because I don't. I never have and I'm tired of pretending and sitting here waiting for that time where you can notice me. I'm in-.”

I never got to finish that statement. My floor was soon covered in throw up.

So in the morning I had no memory of that. Not at all. No, that day came to me very slowly. And still it's a bit of blur all itself. Edmund stayed with me the whole night though. It seems that I passed out along with throwing up. Thanks to my two best friends who cleaned up the mess before my mom came home from her date. And Edmund stayed the night too making sure I was good. Shawn stayed too, but kept his distance.

So not knowing what I said or did was very scary. Edmund told me that I had almost told Shawn that I was in love with him, but if Shawn is smart he'd realize it. Right?

So that's the end of that chapter of my life.

A.N. may 20, 08