Do you think I’m easy

Letting my desires get the best of me

As your fingers moved across my skin

My breathing slow and harsh?

But there’s something about your caress

That sweet smile on your face that

Crushes my every worry, thought of backing out.

When I’m in your grasp, within your reach,

I’m secure in your arms, I trust you.

The way you kiss, maybe I’m naive,

Just makes me want more

To be with you and never leave

But when you’re gone and reality arrives

To take your place, the night replaying in my head

I’m wondering why I allowed this consensual violation.

I hardly know you, fuck, I don’t know you

Yet I didn’t hesitate in acting like a slut,

Willing to do anything to make you happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I was comfortable

I was okay, more than okay

With the manner in which your fingertips

Brushed my inner thighs as your tongue

Teased the flesh of my neck, and not once,

Not for a minute, did I feel ashamed

About my looks; it felt natural to expose

My body, my most hated secret

To your eyes, to your wandering gaze.

Maybe I’m just a little confused,

Overwhelmed, if you will.

Part of me simply wants to relive the moment

Where your arms slipped around my waist and

My lips met yours in a moment of fire, but

At the same time, am I going too fast?

Three dates and I’m half naked on your bed

Reeling for days about how I must have appeared

What you must think of your girlfriend

Or am I just some slut, some toy

With no inhibitions? Maybe I am, a whore

Who lets animalistic instincts dominate her thoughts.

Until I remember the talking, lying

In your arms, how you cared enough to

Make sure you weren’t pushing the boundaries and

Every doubt I have is gone. For the moment.

And all I can think about is hating myself

For ever second guessing this crazy thing,

This whirlwind, hurricane of emotion that seems

TO highlight my every weakness, fear

Of commitment and being tied down,

Getting myself hurt and not deserving you.

Then follow the regrets, not kissing you the

Moment that you pecked my forehead, not

Holding your hand as we walked to your house;

Too afraid of what you might say, how

You might react, as irrational as it is.

I’m confused, I don’t know where we stand,

I feel like you know me better than I ever will

But I know nothing about you.

You know what I think about you, my

Incessant fangirling and squeeing

But I haven’t a clue as to what

You think about me, is this just physical?

Is there something there or am I delusional?

I’m flooded, and I can’t help but think

That I’m drowning, and the pathetic thing is

I’ll swim out deeper every time

Just to see where this

Flood will take me.