Chapter Seventeen

Cassidy waited in the reception area of Fiona’s school. Nerves churned in her stomach.

Less than an hour ago, she had hung up the phone after speaking with the hospital worker. He had given her Fiona’s school address and asked if she would pick up Nathan’s daughter on his behalf.

Of course, of course, had been Cassidy’s reply. She had scribbled down the address. Everything after that, including catching a cab to Fiona’s school, had passed in a foggy blur.

What’s happened to Nathan? What’s happened?

Be reasonable, she told herself. If he was well enough to ask for someone to phone her, he wasn’t dead.

But if he died – the last words I said to him-

Please, please, just let me see him again. Let me tell him how stupid I was, how thick-headed. Let me tell him that I never intend to choose a job over him and his wonderful daughter.

Her train of thought derailed as she saw Fiona walking down the hall towards her. The girl’s expression was unreadable.

When she reached Cassidy, Fiona folded her arms. Her mouth drew out into a thin line. “What are you doing here?”

Cassidy tried to gather her thoughts. Her mouth felt dry when she tried to speak, as if it had been filled with cotton wool. “I realise you probably don’t want to see me-”

“Duh.” Fiona looked away, her face drawn, her eyes shuttered. “Unless you’ve come to apologise for choosing a stupid job over us, we’re done here.” She scuffed the toe of her shoe on the squeaky laminate school floor.

“Your father’s in hospital,” Cassidy said. The words seemed to float out of her, and she felt as if it was someone else’s voice she heard.

“What?” All the colour drained from Fiona’s face. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around herself. “What? Why? When?”

“I don’t know. This morning. Someone called me from the hospital. I’m here to take you to see him.”

Fiona absorbed this for a moment. Then she said, “Okay. But once we get there, you should go. He won’t want to see you.”

“Fiona!” Cassidy knew she deserved that, but she was still shocked. “I care about your father, you know. I just want to know that he’s okay.”

“It sure didn’t seem that way last night, did it? It seems like you care more about the dead than the living.” Fiona adjusted the pack on her shoulder and started walking towards the school exit. Then she stopped, and turned back. Her face was wrought with emotion. She let her hands fall to her sides. Suddenly she seemed so small. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Come on, let’s go. I need to see my Dad.”

Hating herself, Cassidy nodded.

What if it’s my fault that he’s in a hospital bed somewhere? What if I upset him, and he wasn’t concentrating at work-

She hailed a cab, and gave the surly looking driver the address. As they sped away, Cassidy prayed that, when they reached Nathan’s bedside, he wouldn’t send her away.

She had so much to say to him.

--

A nurse walked Cassidy and Fiona along a narrow white corridor. They passed doors with small windows in, and Cassidy could see patients in their beds, looking drawn, pale, some with IVs in their arms. Some with huge bunches of flowers on the window sills and bedside tables. Some holding bears. Some with visitors.

The smell of antiseptic in the corridor made her feel sick. From the look on Fiona’s face, the girl didn’t like it too much, either.

The nurse stopped by a door at the end of the corridor. “Mr McCabe is in here. You can see him now. Visiting hours finish at seven tonight, so you have a while yet.”

Cassidy thanked the nurse, and the older woman left.

Fiona stared at the door in stony silence. Then she turned her gaze on Cassidy. “Once we’ve seen that he’s okay, you should go.”

Cassidy felt tears prick the back of her eyes, but she nodded. I deserve this. Fiona is right. I care too much about the dead, and not enough about the living.

“You’re right. I’ll go. I just want to see that he’s okay.”

She turned the handle and opened the door. Immediately her gaze was drawn to Nathan. He was propped up in the hospital bed. A sheet was drawn to his stomach. His chest was bare, except for a wide white bandage that wound around his ribs. The edge of it disappeared under the thick woollen bed sheets.

His hair was tousled, and looked damp and smeared with dirt. There was a cut on his left cheek.

He’d never looked more handsome to her.

Fiona hurled herself across the room, and flung her arms around her father. He smiled, but Cassidy didn’t miss his wince of pain.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said to his daughter, kissing her hair.

“Dad!” Tears of relief streaked down Fiona’s cheeks, plopping on to Nathan’s shoulder. “I thought… I thought… What happened?”

His mouth turned down. “Work. I was chasing a suspect in Brooklyn. We got into this maze – all alleys, full of all kinda of dirt and rats. I slipped a little – and he had a gun.” Gently, he patted the large bandage. “He shot me.”

Fiona stared at the bandage. Her eyes were wide. “Is it still... Is it out?”

“Yeah.” He shifted, and winced again, his eyes squeezing shut in pain. “It’s out. Doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

Then he seemed to realise that Cassidy stood by the door. “So, they called you,” he told her, needlessly.

She took the smallest step forward. “They did. I came – we came – as soon as possible.”

“Thanks for bringing Fiona here,” he said, and his voice was devoid of emotion.

Cassidy felt hollow inside. It’s no more than you deserve, she told herself. But still, still, she felt as if someone had carved a hole inside her. Now her loneliness whistled through the gap, chilling her.

There was silence in the room for a long moment. Cassidy turned to leave, her hand on the door handle.

Then she stopped, and her gaze lit on Nathan and Fiona, holding each other tightly.

Aren’t you at least going to put up a fight? Don’t they deserve that much? This family could be yours. All it takes is a little courage.

She cleared her throat. Father and daughter looked up.

“I’m an idiot,” she said, and cursed inwardly when her voice wavered. She looked at Fiona. “You were right, Fiona. You were right when you said I’m more interested in the dead than the living. I was, for so long. I shut myself off from love, from… from everything bright in the world.”

Nathan’s gaze locked with hers. The corner of his mouth turned up, ever so slightly, and it gave her courage.

“But last night, when I got home, I realised something. I realised that I didn’t care about London, or Roman remains. I realised that, until last night, when I’d be so incredibly stupid, so thick-headed… Until then, I’d been happy. Happier than I’d ever been, right here, in New York. And it was because of both of you.”

Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to think better of it. Cassidy waited, and sure enough, he decided to talk to her. “Last night,” he began. “Last night, I was going to offer you everything. Everything I have on this earth that matters to me.”

“I know.” Tears welled up, spilled over, and Cassidy made no effort to wipe them away. “I know, and I screwed up. I screwed up. But I want a chance to at it again. Please. Please, give me a chance to make you happy. To make you both happy. I love you,” she said to Nathan, “I love both of you. I couldn’t see it for so long, but…”

She trailed off, empty.

I’ve said it. I told them. Told them how much they matter.

The rest is up to them.

Nathan kissed Fiona’s hair. She looked up at him. “What do you think, honey?” he asked. “Does she deserve another chance?”

Fiona looked across at her. Cassidy was amazed at the emotion and the maturity reflected in the teenager’s eyes. It seemed like forever passed before Fiona spoke.

“I guess everyone’s allowed to screw up once.”

Cassidy’s shoulders sagged with relief. She started towards the bed, her eyes on Nathan’s, trying to read his expression. “What’s your verdict?” she whispered.

Nathan’s face was blank for a moment. And then, almost at once, a slow, sexy smile spread across his face and warmed his blue eyes. “I’m with the kid,” he said. Then he crooked a finger at him. “Come here. Nothing like having two beautiful women in your arms to heal a gun shot wound.”

Cassidy walked slowly towards the bed. Her mind was clouded with relief, sadness, fear, happiness – so many emotions were assaulting her senses all at once. When Nathan’s arms curled around her, she let out a ragged sigh.

I haven’t lost him. I haven’t lost them.

“I love you,” she whispered against his chest. His skin was warm against her cheek. “I love you both, so much.”

“We love you, too,” Fiona said. Her brow furrowed, and then she said, “Does this mean you want to marry us?”

Cassidy laughed a watery laugh. “Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.” Her body sagged against Nathan. Every shred of emotion had been spent, and she felt light and airy, like she was floating on a gentle wave.

“If only I had known earlier,” Nathan teased. “All I had to do to get you to marry me was get shot.”

Cassidy rolled her eyes at him. “Watch it. I’m not above poking you in the wound.”

Fiona sniggered. The sound was like music to Cassidy. It seemed like the girl had forgiven her for last night.

“Are you going to move in with us?” Fiona asked her.

“I’d like that, very much.”

Fiona looked from her father to Cassidy and back again. When her eyes lit on Cassidy, she said, “So you’ll be my Mom.”

Cassidy felt an invisible fist squeeze her heart, hard. “I would love it if you called me Mom. When and if you’re ready.”

Fiona smiled a beautiful smile. “I think I’ll be ready pretty soon.”

Nathan hugged them both to him. Then he nudged Fiona. “Honey, would you mind getting… some coffee or something? I’d like to talk to Cassidy alone for a moment.”

“Sure.” Fiona stood, and kissed her Dad’s cheek. Then she locked gazes with Cassidy. “I’m glad,” she said, “I’m really glad that you love us. I thought…” She bit her lip. “I thought you were going to leave.”

On impulse, Cassidy got up and rounded the bed, taking the girl into her arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek when Fiona hugged back, hard.

I have a family now. This is my beautiful family.

Fiona shut the door behind her, and Cassidy heard the gentle slap of her sneakers on the hospital floor as she went off in search of sweets and drinks.

Cassidy moved to sit by Nathan. She rested her head on his shoulder. They sat that way for a long time, holding each other, and then Nathan gently tilted Cassidy’s chin up, and kissed her, long and deep. It was a kiss that had everything inside her heating up.

“So,” he said, his eyes dancing with lust and humour, “What do you think about providing a sibling for Fiona?”

THE END

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