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A Group of Friends With all Their Problems go to Group Therapy. Have Fun.
Characters:
Matt- friends view him as a "fake emo kid." Loves music and always wears a black 1920's jazz hat.
Adam- pretty cool guy. left his friends for Academy highschool and now doesn't talk to them much. "ditched them."
Martha- fun loving girl who's still trying to get over the fact that Adam left and doesn't talk to them anymore.
Rina- bubbly asian pink loving girl. used to "luv" adam but now doesn't know.
Kyung- an asian guy that can be very pessimistic but sometimes really hyper.
Catherine- an asian girl that hates asian guys. (go figure) loves to ruin nice moments. an artist.
Emma- friends call her an "emo" girl because she wears black a lot but in reality is a very happy and laugh out loud sort of person.
Tom- a funny and energetic red head kid, doesn't really care too much about all the drama but loves to hang out with his friends.
Vicky- a bubbly person who loves to hear about all the drama of the friends.
Ryan- a guy who used to be nice but is now a jerk. pretty good looking and hates emma (and sometimes catherine.)
Melissa- ryan's twin sister. is a CLASS A BITCH. doesn't really like anyone in the room besides Ryan, Nick, and sometimes Emili.
Nick- ryan's best friend and emma's EX-best friend. has recently been hanging out with the wrong people and being a jerk.
Emili- over energetic, over annoying, over... everything. no one really likes her. she HATES emma. she hangs with ryan, nick, and melissa.
Steph- Martha and Emily's best friend. loves to hate adam now-a-days. a funny happy person.
Matt: (blows up) YES. ADAM. BUT OF COURSE HE WONT COME BECAUSE HE NEVER DOES BECAUSE HE DOESN? T LIKE US! BECAUSE WE'RE NOTGOOD ENOUGH FOR HI-
Adam: (runs in out of breath)I’m here!Matt: FINALLY.Martha: YEA, THIS ONE FREAKING TIME.
Rina: YAY ADAM!
Steph: No Rina, be quiet. He doesn't deserve your joy.
Adam: See Emma! I did my part! I came! Aren’t you proud of me!
Emma: Oh shut up! You don't deserve my joy...
(Adam sits down depressed)Therapist: I can see that we're gonna have a LOT of work here...
Martha: Adam has been my friend since we were like three, and yes he has messed up before but now, he's just an...ASSHOLE
Adam: Martha, come on!
Martha: NO!
Steph:God Adam, why don't you go break another girl’s heart?
Martha: Yeah I think the only ones left are Emily, Emma, Rina and Catherine,and considering that you managed to break Steph, Vicky, Ashley, and my in such a short time, I’m sure you can do it!
Matt: YEAH AND THEN U'LL HAVE NO FRIENDS!
Adam: (feeling really scared) Rina back me uphere
Rina: I don’t know what to say anymore... I’m leaving
(Leaves...Adam tries to follow but Martha and Matt force him down)
Therapist: geez...
Catherine: (mumbles) but I don't wanna like Adam...
Therapist: (little too much enthusiasm) CATHERINE! Why don't you tell us about YOUR problems!?
Catherine: umm... ok... well. I guess that I-
(Ryan and Melissa enter through the door)
Ryan: is this the rite place?
Emma: (angered) What are THEY doing here?!
Tom: Emma... we need to solve your problems too
Emma: But-
(Emili and Nick enter)
Emma: OF COURSE ALWAYS INTERRUPTING ME. HOW LIKE THEM!
Nick: I guess this IS therapy...
Emma: (fuming… panting from being mad)
Therapist: What are your names?
Ryan: I'm Ryan.
Martha: (mutters) A.k.a jackass.
Melissa: I'm Melissa.
Matt: (whispers to Tom) Is that that bitch I don't like?
Tom: (whispers) Yea.
Nick: I'm Nick.
Kyung: (mutters) Jerrrrrk.
Emili: and I'm Emili!
Whole group besides last 4 and Therapist: Ugh…
Therapist: So... what are your problems?
Emma: DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
Adam: (whispers to Tom) Good thing they're here, now I don't get bullied.
Tom: I SAY WE GO BACK TO BULLYING ADAM.
Emma: I SECOND THAT.
Martha: I THIRD THAT.
Matt: I FIFTH THAT.
Steph: Don't you mean fourth that Matt?
Matt: Oh right... I FOURTH THAT.
Therapist: WHY ME? WHY ME?
Catherine: WILL I EVER GET TO TALK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS?
(Whole room goes silent.)
Martha/Emily/Emma: Screw you Catherine.
Catherine: that's it, I'm outta here
(leaves and then Vicky comes in)
Therapist: YES! Someone new, what are your problems?
Vicky: Oh well everyone else was here so that's why I came... I guess I hate Adam
Adam: VICKY!
Matt: Hahaha yes...
Melissa (whining): Weren't wetalking about me?
Emma: Shut up Melissa.
(Melissa bursts intotears)
Ryan: EMMA!
Martha: OH SHUT UP RYAN! (Is aware she quoted HSM but doesn't say anything) Everyone hates you.
Adam: (hopeful) More thanthey hate me?
Steph: Maybe...We're not sure.
Tom: Yea a few months ago we would've said yes but now eh
Kyung: BENNY AND THEJETS!
Therapist: What the hell?!
Kyung: I haven’t said anything in awhile
Martha/Emma/Steph: BENNY AND THE JETS
Melissa: Does no one care that I am crying?
Emma: NO!
Nick: I’m leaving, this isridiculous.
Emili: Ugh, I’m gonna slap someone
(She slapsEmma. Nick stays because he sees that this could get interesting.)
Martha:OH NO U DID NOT!
(Martha slaps Emili. Emili slaps back. Martha slaps Emili again and she remains on the floor.)
Emma: OMG I WANNA PUNCH RYAN!
Ryan: Why-(Ryan gets punched by Emma)
Matt: Oh my god! So we're punching people now?
Adam: RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.
Matt: GET BACK HERE!!
(Matt and Adam get in fight on ground.)(Catherine punches Melissa. Tom and Nick have sissy slap fight.)
Therapist: STOP THE CHAOS!!(whole room goes silent)Therapist: (fuming) NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. WE'REGOING TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS AND FIX IT.
(Whole room is still silent. Emili slowly gets up and leaves quietly.)
Therapist: (calm again.) So when did this all start?
(Whole room goes into own rants about how it started, groups form that fight over what happened. Groups include: Martha-Adam-Matt. Vicky-Tom-Kyung.Nick-Emma-Ryan. Catherine-Melissa-Steph.)
Therapist: I knew I shouldn't have run away from that accident... damn karma!!
Martha: GUYS, SHUT THEHELL UP!
Therapist: …Thank you.
Martha: I will start from the top and if ANYONE interrupts me, except for Emma, because she's Emma, I will kill you, and I'm not kidding.
Steph: She's not, I've seen that look.
Martha: Okay so when we were in 8th grade, Vicky liked Adam,Adam said he liked Vicky, and it never really worked out. But we found out later, thathe never liked her-
Adam: is this relevant?
Martha: DO U WANT TO DIE? (Adam shakes head) SHUT UP THEN! ANYWAY, we got mad, but we got over it. Then I liked Adam, and I asked Emma to see if the feelingswere returned, but they weren't.
(Adam almost interjects but Matt slaps his handover his mouth stopping him.)
Martha: So I got over it. Then, ADAM LEFT FOR THAT SCHOOL! We thought we'd still hang with him, we tried, god knows, we tried, buthe left us, he ditched us, the end!
Therapist: Adam, you are a bad person!
Adam: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Matt slapshim)
Matt: You know it's true.
Steph/Vicky/Kyung/Emma/Tom/Catherine: Yea!
Therapist: Now Emma, why do you hate Ryan?
Emma: Well, we all hate Ryan, he's an ass.
Melissa: HE IS NOT!
Catherine: Shut up Melissa. We atleast liked Ryan at one point, we've always hated you!
Therapist: I havea suggestion, stop talking and hanging out with Ryan, Melissa and Emili.
Vicky: I never do!
Therapist: then you're ahead of the pact! And Adam, you should buy everyone expensive gifts and dot on them until they forgive you.
Martha/Steph/Emma/Vicky/Catherine: YES PRESENTS!
Matt/Tom/Kyung:YESPAYBACK!
Adam: I never should've gone to that damn school.
Nick: (mutters) I'm still here...
Emma: no you're not.
Nick: What the hell does that mean!? I'm RIGHT here!
Emma: NO YOU’RE NOT.A Nick wanna be is right there, the real Nick is... MISSING.
Ryan: Emma shut up! That doesn't even make sense! There you go again with yourstupid poetic metaphorical shit, you make NO FU-
Tom: LALALALLALALALA I CANT HERE YOU.
Melissa: I think you’re here Nick.
Nick and Emma: (looks at her in disgust...)
Therapist: WHY DO YOU GUYS ALL HATE EACHOTHER. I want you to go around andsay one thing you hate about the person and one thing you like about theperson.
(Everyone groans.)
Therapist: Emma you go first. Say something you hate about Ryan.
Emma: That shouldn't be hard. Let’s see... he's an egotistical self-centered perverted friend stealing manipulative lying jackass.
Ryan: I AM NOT.
Therapist: And something nice?
Emma: Ummm... He has good hair?
Therapist: Very good. Ok now Ryan you say something you hate about Emma.
Ryan: She's an annoying controlling consistent lying taking advantage of smartass.
(Emma looks at him in disgust. Ryan looks back and makes mean disgustingface. Emma sticks her tongue out at him-)
Therapist: (getting annoyed.) And something nice??
Ryan:...ummm... Oh god, I can't think of anything... (Trying to be a jerk.)
Therapist: SAY SOMETHING.
Ryan: (scared) Ok Ok. (Back to normal) ummm... she's... smart?
Therapist: Ok, good job. Let's move on. Matt, say something you hate about Adam.
Matt: He's an asshole who thinks he's god's gift to the world.
Therapist: Ok, something nice?
Matt: He USED to be cool.
Therapist: Adam, something you hate about Matt.
Adam: I’m scared of him and something nice...he's my best friend.
(Martha laughs)
Therapist: Martha something you hate about Adam.
Martha: He's a player, a liar, an asshole, a ditcher, a sellout, a phony and...his mom is creepy.
Vicky: AMEN TO THAT!
Adam: WHAT?!
Matt: She is dude.
Therapist: Something you like Martha...?
Martha: He's...one of my oldest friends and always will be.
Adam: Really? I don't hate anything about Martha, I love her!
Martha: This is what I meant by fake!
Therapist: I can see. Emma something you hate about Melissa?
Emma: She's a controlling bitch!
Melissa: Well you’re mean.
Steph: Is that the best you can do! God!
Therapist: Stephanie, something you hate about Martha.
Steph: I HATE NOTHING, SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND!
Martha: YEAH SCREW YOU BITCH, TRYING TO TEAR US APART?
Therapist (groans): Vicky, something you hate about Tom?
Vicky: I don’t hate him, but he can be evil (Tom cackles) my point exactly
Tom: well you’re loud and you always yell…
Emma: We're all like that.
Matt: THAT'S IT! This is going NO WHERE!!
Martha: Matt sit down, shut up and stop being a fake emo kid.
Adam: Amen to THAT! (Tries to high five Martha but she just denies him) You know who I like best out of everyone here?
Therapist (looks intrigued): who...?
Adam: I like... KYUNG.
Kyung: I FINALLY GET TO SAY SOMETHING! I like you too Adam.
Martha: KYUNG I'M GONNA KILL YOU.
Catherine: I’m gonna tell you’re mom!!
Kyung: SHUT UP CATHERINE.
Emma: (giggles)
Nick: That's not funny!
Emma: YES IT IS.
Tom: (giggling in background) It actually really is guys...
Therapist: Ok now, Kyung. Please tell us something you hate about Adam.
Kyung: ARE U TRYING TO BREAK ADAM AND MY FRIENDSHIP APART?
Therapist: (rolls eyes, sarcastic.) Yes, that's exactly what I’m trying to do. That’s exactly it.
Matt: WHAT TYPE OF FUCKING THERAPIST ARE YOU?!
Therapist: well... I... I’m a damn good one! And you’re gonna sit down and listen to me, even if it breaks you’re friendship apart!!
(Room is silent. Lowell walks through door; he doesn't say a word. He runs over and hugs Catherine and Emma then runs out.)
Catherine and Emma: DAMN YOU LOWELL. DAMN YOU FUCKING SKETCH.
Matt: WHO IS THAT KID?!
Tom: Nerd boy.
Matt: Ohhhhh... rite.
(Whole room silent. Emily arises. everyone is surprised because they forgot she was there.)
Emily: (semi furious) now! I haven't said anything this entire time! But I’m about to!
Catherine: (raises hand) ummm... no disrespect Emily, but you did say “screw you Catherine” awhile ago.
Kyung: SHUT UP CATHERINE.
Catherine: FUCK YOU KYUNG.
Therapist: Let's all talk about Kyung and Catherine's problems.
Emily: BUT I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.
Ryan: SHUT UP EMILY.
Therapist: So Catherine, why do you hate Kyung?
Catherine: Because he's an Asian guy... and he pisses me off.
Therapist: but Catherine, you ARE Asian.
Catherine: I NEVER asked for it!
Emma: (mutters) Damn Twinkie.
Therapist: Anything good about Kyung?
Catherine: NOTHING.
Therapist: YOU’RE WORSE THAN RYAN.
Catherine: NEVER EVER EVER SAY THAT, I'M GOING TO SUE YOU.
Tom: (singing) Sue me. Sue me. Shoot bullets through me. I love--
Matt: THIS SUCKS.
Melissa: This DOES suck.
Vicky: SHUT UP Melissa. Hey you guys were right... that felt good.
Adam: Anyone want ice-cream? I’m buying..
Martha: Trying to impress us Adam?
Steph: Trying to win us back?
Catherine: Screw whatever he's trying to do. I WANT ICECREAM.
Kyung: SHUT UP CATHERINE.
Therapist: SHUT UP KYUNG.
Kyung: SHUT UP CATH-... wait... that wasn't Catherine.
Therapist: LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.
Catherine: WELL MY PROBLEM IS. I'M HUNGRY.
Emma: ME TOO.
Nick: ME THREE.
Matt: ME FIVE.
Vicky: MATT FOR THE LAST TIME. IT’S FOUR.
Therapist: I GIVE UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
(Therapist runs out of room, arms flaying and screaming and ripping hair out of head. Whole room goes silent and watches her off..)
Tom: (building up from a whisper to a glorious scream.) hey guys... hey guys... she's... GONE.
Emma: (singing) ALLELUIA ALLELUIA.
Everyone: ITS HALLELUAH!
Emma: SHUT UP.
(Everyone laughs.)(Everyone awkward silence)
Ryan: Hey guys... I think we should all be friends.
Martha/Emma/Emily/Catherine: WAIT… RYAN??
Ryan: Yup. We all were friends, I’m sure we could do it again.
Adam: You know what? I agree with Ryan.
(Whole room adlibs agreement. everyone hugs and high fives.)
Catherine: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO GET SOME FREAKING ICE CREAM.
Tom: Screw that. Let’s go to Sesame Street!
(Everyone who had been in the room before besides Therapist runs in room.)
Rina: I WANNA SEE THE COOKIE MONSTER.
Kyung: THERE IS NO COOKIE MONSTER. IT’S THE CELERY MONSTER.
Emma: DAMN GEORGE BUSH. DAMN OBESITY. DAMN THE GOVERNMENT.
(Everyone screams in agreement: DAMN THE GOVERNMENT.)THE END.
(Then group bows of course!!) : )
review please because i luv u!