In the Beginning

The problem with being a tomato is that no one loved you. You were round, fat even, and most people just pushed you to the edge of their salad. You couldn't hide either because you were fire engine red. People noticed you, no matter how hard you tried to remain inconspicuous.

Then there was the whole problem of being eaten. You weren't like lettuce which was easy to stick a fork into. You rolled. You twitched. And when you finally speared on the end of a fork, your innards spewed out on some executive's white shirt for all the world to see.

His name was Marzano, and he would rather end his life himself than meet death in such an undignified way. That was how he found himself on the stairs outside of an office building contemplating jumping to the concrete below. The problem?

Marzano had just discovered he was afraid of heights.

It was a such a long way down to the concrete below. A very, very long way down. Marzano carefully rolled back from the edge. Maybe plunging to his death wasn't the way to go about it. He could always roll down the stairs one at a time and throw himself under the tires of a car in the parking lot.

Yes. That's what he'd do. No need to drop. Just a brief squish and everything would be done with.

With that in mind, Marzano headed towards the steps.

---

Caspian wondered if being in that salad so long had scrambled his seeds. Instead of resting gracefully on a bed of lettuce looking tempting to people as they wandered by, he was sitting on a concrete landing where a chill wind was blowing. He was an idiot.

At least the scenery was nice. Because in front of Caspian, slowly approaching the edge of the step, was another tomato straight out of his dreams. His wet dreams.

He didn't know why they were out here. He didn't know what the other tomato was thinking. Hell, he didn't even know the other tomato's name. But he did know one thing. If it was the last thing he did, Caspian was going to meet that tomato.

Now he just had to figure out how to do it without seeming like a creepy stalker.

The Meeting of Two Hearts

Marzano had never realized just how far down one step was from another. It wasn't like he hadn't known there would be a drop. He had. That was kind of the definition of steps. There was a plateau and then a sudden drop. Everyone knew that.

It was just so very different when one was actually looking over the edge. The drop wasn't as dramatic as the drop off the landing to the ground. It was still pretty far for a tomato that was only an inch tall.

Maybe just sitting up here near the door was a good idea.

No. No, it wasn't. He'd gathered up enough courage to take that flying leap off the salad. Mostly it had been blind panic mixed with a healthy dose of depression, but that was besides the point. There was no reason why he couldn't go down the stairs and face his death under a tire with dignity.

Or as much dignity as a bright red fruit that often got mistaken for a vegetable could have.

Taking a slight roll backwards to gain momentum, Marzano got ready to hurl himself into the unknown.

---

Caspian didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed. In the end, he settled for being entertained. The tomato he'd followed off the salad was trying to convince himself to go over the edge of the steps. He was currently speaking to himself. "You can do it... no problem... just a little distance... it won't be so bad..."

Normally he didn't go for the insecure ones, but damn if this one wasn't cute.

Maybe he should have broadened his horizons a while ago. Dealing with the other perfect tomatos, like himself, always led to arguments about who was better. There was only enough room for one ego in a relationship. His.

Caspian moved up behind the other tomato. He rolled slowly, stealthily, until he was right next to him. He was mere millimeters from his victim when he spoke.

"Hi there sweet thing."

"EEEP!" The other tomato jumped forward in surprise, squeaked again as he teetered on the edge, and then tumbled right over. Caspian was right behind him. There was no way he was letting a good thing get away.

Warring, Bitter Hearts

If Marzano had a heart, he would be having a heart attack right now. As it was he was having the tomato equivalent. He'd bounced down three steps, and was slowly rolling towards going over a fourth. If Marzano could stop shrieking in fear long enough to think, maybe he'd be able to stop in time.

Maybe.

Someone bumped into him from behind, sending him rolling towards the edge at an even quicker pace. That finally jerked him into action. Marzano threw his weight backwards. He teetered on the edge, but slowly, slowly, rolled backwards.

"Well, that was fun." Mindless terror turned to towering rage almost immediately.

"Are you insane?" Marzano yelled. "What were you trying to do? Get me killed?"

"That's an odd question coming from the tomato that jumped off a perfectly good salad and then spent the last ten minutes looking over the edge of the stairs." Marzano got his first look at the other tomato and froze. He hadn't known such a blemish free skin existed on a cherry tomato. "What's you name anyway?"

Only the fact that he was still on the emotional rollercoaster allowed him to speak before things went all awkward. "Marzano."

---

"My name is Caspian." This was great. The other tomato – Marzano -- was so freaked out about rolling down a couple of stairs that he totally didn't notice his stalkerish behavior. "I was grown in California. What about you?"

"Me?" Marzano looked confused. It was adorable. "Er... I'm not really sure. I didn't pay much attention. I think I may be organic?"

"That's cool." Caspian rolled to the edge. "There are only a dozen more steps to the bottom."

"Should you be so close to the edge?" Caspian smiled. Marzano was worried about him. Things were looking brighter all the time.

"Are you worried I'll fall over?"

"No. Yes. Just... come back from the edge."

"If we're going to make it to the bottom of the steps, we're going to need to go down the rest," Caspian said. Then he rolled over and gently bumped skins with Marzano. It was the tomato equivalent of a kiss. "Follow me down." Then he hurled himself over the edge, whooping in glee, certain that the other tomato would follow.

Their Love will Last Forever

"Idiot!" Marzano yelled as Caspian sailed off the edge. The other tomato had kissed him. Him. Why was he standing here instead of following? "Wait for me."

If he didn't think about what he was about to do, Marzano found he could roll off of the step fairly easily. The problem was that once he was started rolling inertia made it difficult to stop. One, two, three, four steps went by with remarkable speed.

Marzano spent the entire time screaming.

Only when he slowed to a gentle roll did he dare think about what he'd done. By that time he was at the bottom of the steps. Caspian rolled up to him once he'd stopped. "That was awesome. So now that we're down here, what are we doing?"

"Um..." The sudden realization that he was going to have to tell Caspian, possibly the most flawless tomato ever, that he was going to throw himself under a car tire hit and hit hard. "I... hadn't really thought about it. I was going to... maybe kill myself."

"Kill yourself?" The shock and disbelief in Caspian's voice made Marzano feel about three millimeters tall. "Why?"

"Because I didn't have anything to really live for," Marzano replied. All of this had sounded much better when he was alone at the top of the stairs contemplating a drop down. "I mean..."

"Well now you do."

"Huh?"

---

"Now you have something to live for," Caspian repeated. Why was it always the cute ones? "You and I are going to be together. That will give you something to live for."

"But I don't even know you!" Marzano protested. Caspian resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Sure you do. My name is Caspian. I was grown in California. I'm cute. You're cute. What more do you need to know?" Caspian looked around them. "Wouldn't you much rather stay with me than be squished or eaten?"

"Yes, but..." Marzano started.

"No buts. I'm going to go up under those bushes." Caspian rolled in the direction. "Lots of light, plenty of water. You can follow me or you can kill yourself. I know which one I'd enjoy more."

Caspian started rolling towards the bushes. But not too swiftly. He wanted to give his new emo boyfriend time to make-up his mind. Just as he was about to go into the shade, Caspian looked behind him.

Marzano was rolling after him.

Score one for the Cas man.

---

Forever afterwards tomato plants grew in the shadow of the building, a symbol of Marzano and Caspian's undying love. Or at least their ability to have hot, hot tomato sex and spread their seed around. Take your pick.

The end.