AN: Lmao, 5 chapters and I’ve surpassed the word count total for my 16 chapter slash story. Ladies and gentlemen…growth!

My excuses:

The long one-shot I posted

Attempting – and giving up on – nanowrimo

Starting university. Which got me really depressed for ages.

Due to this being pathetically late I haven’t replied individually to people because I wanted to get this up, but know I love hearing from you all. Also, if you still read this and think I need a kick up the arse (which I do) feel free to email me and hurry me along. Thanks for all your support I love everyone who reads this and anyone who reviews and adds me to their lists.

If you’re iffy about what you read, go reread my warning for this in chapter 1 otherwise don’t blame me if there’s something in this chapter you don’t like (same for all the others too obviously). You were warned.

Chapter title suggestions are gladly welcomed.

Apologies if Jaynee’s boyfriend was previously named, I can’t find it if so but I could just be missing it. To avoid confusion he’s now Mick and I will fix it if I do need too lol.

Also, does anyone mind that a lot of this story so far pivots around lunch time at school? I was just wondering if those scenes were enjoyed or not? I personally like them, but if it seems repetitive and not funny then let me know!

Thank you all, and onwards to the chapter!

---

That Friday night at Liam’s with him and Jaynee and the following Saturday were amazing. Talk about just what I needed. We pigged out, stayed up until four in the morning, laughed, joked, talked and just let go like I had not been able to do in weeks. I pushed both of them out the bed because I couldn’t decide who I should push out this time and they swore to get me back. We did homework Saturday and pissed around again that night. Of course what goes around comes around and Sunday sucked because I spent five hours cleaning the fucking mess dad and his mates had left for me and Monday bit because those are the nights me and idiot-face have to work on our English project together.

Getting one over on slut features Friday night gave me and idiot some sort of mutual ground and the agreement we made to try and not bring up the diary thing has done us some good at least because if the outcome of the blackmailing was going to be the same either way, at least this way I can forget he knows anything. Denial is a good thing.

Tuesday morning, I got into Jacob’s car and he greeted me with birthday wishes. How in fucking hell did he know it’s my birthday today? I even nearly forgot!

“I’m going to kill Jaynee and Liam,” I muttered. “I don’t see why they insist on telling people it’s my birthday.” To be honest I’d have forgotten about it had it not been for them banging on about it loads.

“Its your eighteenth!” He sounded so scandalised it was actually funny.

“Yeah?”

“Why aren’t you excited?”

“Why are you?” Today is just another day of the year, being another year older doesn’t make me feel any differently.” I suppose the fact that I’ve been raised not to think anything of it also plays a part… “All turning eighteen means is that you can now legally get pissed out your skull, and since I’m not bothered about that I don’t really care.”

“Its special! You only turn eighteen once! You’re such a moron.”

“Don’t pick on me on my birthday!” He growled. Hehe double standards. “Clearly you don’t turn eighteen twice but I highly doubt that I will turning six again any time soon either and that was hardly a crucial turning point in my life.”

“Your presents in the glove compartment. Open it.”

“You got me something?” I didn’t bother to keep the disbelief out of my voice because its not like I’m not genuinely surprised.

“Yeah…”

I shrugged and tugged a card and a neatly wrapped package out of the glove compartment. It was all squashy. I ripped the paper off and exclaimed “oooh thank you!” As I saw what it was. I had wanted the blue strip in my hair re-dying for ages now.

“What are you so happy about? Its just hair dye.”

I pulled on the now faded and growing-out streak of blue in my fringe and rolled my eyes. “I needed some! I can honestly keep this yeah?”

“Yeah…it cost me like four quid…”

“Ace. Thanks.” I grinned. I proceeded to open the card which was pink, had glitter on and was a typical girlfriend card. As I flipped it over I saw he had left the price tag on…£1.79. “You paid that much for a piece of card? And you think that I’m the moron? Jesus!”

All he did was roll his eyes. “Open the actual present.”

“What did you get me something else for?”

“Boyfriends usually but something more than hair dye for their girlfriends.”

“Well I could have just lied about it. Return it, get your money back.”

“Just fucking open it and keep it.”

“Okay okay…wow that’s nice…” I never wore any jewellery apart from my watch and some simple silver studs in my ears but the silver pendant and blue stone with its matching earrings were gorgeous. “You picked this out?”

“My mum helped me…”

I snickered. “Tell her thanks…It’s actually really nice…”

“Good, I thought it would match your eyes and Casey always loved jewellery.”

“Of course she did, she was a golddigger. Retard. I still cant accept it though. I don’t see the point. You could have got me like a bag of my favourite sweets or something.”

He ignored me. Lovely child that one.

We got out the car and he took my hand in his, but as we were walking up to the entrance doors I felt him falter slightly. I bent down to fake tying my shoe lace, and whispered up at him, “what’s up with you?” I looked around casually and then growled, “oh, never mind I get it.” Casey and her troop of loyal sluts were loitering around the entrance. I let him pull me up. As we passed them, I thanked him again for my present. I am such a good actress.

“Want me to put it on for you?”

“Sure.”

We stopped and I noticed with satisfaction we were being watched. He Made a big show of fingering my hair and pulling it back so he could slip the chain round my neck, he let his fingers trail down the chain to the pendant, which must have looked really suggestive to anyone else despite it not actually falling down anywhere near enough to reach my chest. I glared at him anyway. And then I glared at cowface Casey who was blatantly watching us, the obsessed whore.

What the fuck is the point in dumping someone if you’re just going to stalk them afterwards?

He barely seemed to recognise I was glaring at him and instead put on a face that anyone who thought that he had a brain would mistake for thinking…which cant be good. He stretched his hand out again and fiddled with necklace. This time he traced my neckline back up and one hand rested on my neck, the other went to my waist and his lips met mine.

Fucking cuntbucket.

My first kiss everyone! For show, for someone I hate and by someone I hate. Excuse me if the butterflies that should be present in my stomach right now is actually a bird puking up caterpillars. Poisonous caterpillars.

Okay so I have no point of reference, but if I hadn’t have been caught off guard, in a highly uncomfortable situation, with a guy that I hate and should I have been responsive not still like a statue, then I would probably say that it wasn’t all bad.

However as it stands I was caught off guard, highly uncomfortable, being kissed by a guy that I hate and utterly disinterested in responding…thus this is not going in my book of great experiences. So yes, it was bad.

So I bit his bottom lip.

Hard.

And it must have been bloody hard too considering I tasted blood myself.

Ooopsie.

I leant up, locked my arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, “just because you brought me jewellery does not mean that I am your whore. You had no fucking right to do that. We could have faked it. I swear to fucking hell that I will kill you if you do that again, that was far from your childish little game of revenge, it was fucking sexual harassment.”

I reached the outside of the tutor room door and paused to calm myself because I knew Jaynee and Liam would be waiting for me. Sure enough when I opened the door I was pounced on by the both of them. I don’t know who fell over who’s what but we all landed in a heap on the floor. I landed on the floor, my schoolbag breaking my fall, Jaynee on top of me and Liam on top of her.

All three of us cursed together and then fell into a heap of laughter. We were joined by several snickers of people in our tutor group and the roaring laughter of Paul who was in here for some reason. “Are you not going to get up?” He asked.

“It’s comfy!” I shouted.

“Really?” He lowered himself down and sat on Liam’s back adding one more person to our pile of retards. As the foundation of this pile, I was getting quite short of breath.

“Pauuuul!” Jaynee groaned, “you’re pushing Liam into me and he’s squashing my left boob!”

I shouted in laughter and couldn’t stop as soon as Liam started to call Paul fat.

“You’re gonna have to get off me, all three of you because I cant breathe!” Eventually I got pulled up to my feet and I mock grumbled, “well thanks guys, I think you’ve pushed my stomach straight out my back but whatever.” I poked Paul, “what are you doing here fatso?” He shoved me and handed me a card in a yellow envelope.

“I’ve gotta get going to my registration now, happy birthday. I’ll see you at lunch, gonna eat with you lot today.”

“Wiked! Thanks,” I hugged him and noticed a certain someone was very pleased with the fact dinner would be a little more crowded than usual…

I sat down and opened my card from Paul and the two from Jaynee and Liam as well.

“Happy birthday!” they chorused.

“Your presents in my bag,” Jaynee grinned, “you’re going to fucking love it!”

“Yep!” Liam nodded enthusiastically “we brought it together. Paul chipped in a tenner too, that’s why he didn’t give you a present. We want you to open it at lunch though!”

“Nobody had to get me anything.”

“Of course we did.”

I shook my head. “with the sounds of it you’ve got me a bottle full of pure awesome juice since your both pretty much pink with barely controlled glee..” Both of them nodded enthusiastically. Wierdos.

“Nice necklace,” Jaynee smiled as she inspected it.

“Thanks, Jacob got it me…” I rolled my eyes.

“It is nice,” Liam said.

“I still don’t understand this whole birthday thing.” They sighed.

And I got birthday beatings. The nineteenth of which certainly was not good luck. Especially for those pair…

---

Dinner was crazy. Jacob sat in the middle of me and Dan and Liam sat in the middle of Jaynee and Paul. Dan had even brought me a birthday card – god knows why.

“I wish those two would fucking hurry the hell up!” Jaynee was bouncing in her seat waiting for Liam to get here with Paul; as usual we were sat down first. Jaynee wanted to give me my present.

Finally they arrived, I laughed, “thank god, Jaynee’s about to explode.”

“so why are you two so late then?” She was being suggestive and treading a very fine line…but was being very funny regardless!

“Lets not do this!” Liam warned. Me and her caught each others eyes and looked away.

A smallish box was pushed towards me, it was smartly wrapped in dark blue paper which had planets and aliens all over it which made me grin. It also had a huge gold bow on it which had somehow ended up on my forehead.

“Happy birthday!”

I opened the present and gasped. “No way guys, that is way, way too expensive.”

“No its not, don’t you like it?” Liam looked slightly hurt and I felt awful, so I lunged forward and grabbed his and Jaynee’s hand.

“Guys I love it, it’s just too much…”

“Seriously, its not, I paid more for Mick’s chain on our anniversary.” Jaynee argued and Liam insisted that they got a really good deal for it.

“Well how much was it?” I stared at the mobile phone box that was now sat in front of me, I knew it wasn’t top notch but it defiantly wasn’t cheap.

“£90…” See, defiantly not cheap.

“That’s only £40 each though, because Paul gave us a tenner towards it.”

“That’s loads, I feel really bad…”

“It’s your eighteenth!” Man was I getting sick of hearing that today. I’d rather not grow up please.

“Lee,” Liam glared at me. “You need a phone.”

Jaynee nodded. “Not only because it will stop you going out your mind bored, its convenient and more importantly it’s safe for fucks sake.”

“Plus! You can put music on it, it has a memory card slot, themes and…” Liam started to babble on and I couldn’t help laughing.

“I don't understand excited geek, try English.”

“Fucking technophobes.” I heard Dan snort and he high fived Liam.

“You don’t have to worry about topping it up because its on contract, so we’re paying every month and that means if ever you’re in an emergency you can always ring people, if you go over your two-hundred texts and sixty minutes which is your allowance for the month then you pay the extra. Deal?”

“You’re keeping that phone Lucy.”

“Deal then.” I grinned and got up to hug Jaynee and Liam, I kissed them each on the cheeks. A couple of minutes later the box started to ring and vibrate across the table, the ring tone was set to happy birthday, only it wasn’t the traditional birthday song it was some spruced up rappy version. Jaynee smacked Liam around the head who yelped because he hadn’t been looking at her.

“Oi! Maniac! How hard was it to find the proper music?”

“What is she, six?”

“Acts like it,” Paul muttered and I nodded enthusiastically. “Poor baby,” he turned to Liam and rubbed his head better, Liam took the opportunity to flirt and curl up to him like a wounded child.

“Maybe I should rub you better from earlier,” I turned to Jaynee and reached out to touch her right boob in turn getting the attention of everyone at the table.

“It was my left…”

“I know. This way I can touch both. I think you’re giving me an erection.”

“That’s Mick’s job, thank you very much. Here, have my leg instead,” and she moved my hand to her thigh.

“How you can say such a whorish comment and get away with it is beyond me.”

“Practice.” Liam snickered. She hit him again.

---

The ride to twatfeature’s house was predictably shit. This English project was going to be the end of me. We were working (and arguing) in his room when Charlotte, his sister, came bursting in again. She ignored idiot boy – good choice – and flew straight to me.

“Hi sweetheart!” I picked her up and swung her round making her giggle like crazy.

“Hi!”

“You’ve got a twig in your hair silly, what have you been doing?” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“I’ve been in the tree house!”

“Tree house?! Oh my god! Wow!” the sad thing? I’m not faking my enthusiasm. Tree houses are cool. End of.

“Me and Jay built it!” I smiled in spite of myself at her nickname for him. How the fuck did lard for brains here actually manage to build anything?

”Is it safe then?” I smirked in his direction and he scowled.

“Of course.”

“Come on then. Show me! You can bring the work down, it’s not cold, we’ll work there.” With that I turned on my heel and let Charlotte take me hand where she pretty much skipped all the way out to the garden. Which, for future reference, is the best thing ever. Ever, ever, ever.

It is ginormous. Which is a word by the way. Completely gorgeous. Jacob was stalking after me and charlotte with a s cowl on his face whereas I couldn’t keep a grin off of mine, and then I saw it. It was amazing. There was a huge tree – obviously – off to the side if their garden, a ladder, with easy to use steps and hand rails lead up to a tiny box like entrance where it opened up built around the branches. The tree was that old and that’s strong that the bloody thing had bloody levels! Different stages and nooks and crannies for you to see. Hehe, I bet you can see into their neighbours gardens…

“Can I live in it?” Charlotte disappeared and I tacked the ladder, which hurt to use but believe me the pain was worth it. “It’s brilliant up here!” Within five minutes I settled and doing work again. I don’t think idiot was too impressed with my desire to work here though. Cool, this place just keeps getting better and better!

He leaned over me to get a pen and I scowled at him to get off of me before I jabbed a pen into his fucking brain via shoving it up his nose. He smirked at me, “am I making you uncomfortable?”

Twat. He knew he was. “No, just bored. And nauseous. Take a fucking bath and put a bag over your face.” I got up accidentally – of course – standing on his fingers as I went and sat higher up. After a while we had nearly finished our project and I couldn’t have been happier about it – we had been working for chuffing hours. So I was celebrating. By pissing him off. I don’t quite know how we got onto the conversation but we were talking about his friends and I was trying to get him to admit that they’re nothing but a bunch of tosspots. It was fun.

“Look I’m not slagging them off okay!”

“Aww why not? You’re boring.”

“Because they’re my friends.”

“But you have to admit you want too, they’re idiots! You know you enjoy eating with us.”

He snorted but I knew it was fake because my friends are fucking awesome and infectious and his suck.

“Well why does Dan join us then?”

“Because he’s my best friend.”

“And all of your others aren’t even awesome enough to care?” I smirked. To be honest, I’m not one hundred percent why I was taking so much pleasure in slagging off his friends because they’re not even worth the oxygen or energy it takes but you know what? Pissing him off was a definite defining factor.

“I feel sick,” he groaned.

“Subject change…you’re probably feeling guilty for earlier. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t expect you to know what that actually felt like since remorse is a human emotion you’re obviously unfamiliar with. Bastard.”

Once again he ignored me and changed the subject. “Fuck its getting dark.”

“Yeah it is getting dark actually…SHIT! What time is it?”

“Umm…half nine…” I was too shocked to even comment on how amazed I am he could even tell the time.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” All of a sudden I felt my chest tighten, my heart leap and my breathing stop. I was going to be almost two hours late. Dad was going to fucking kill me. Literally. I don’t think I’ve ever moved so fast, but I was up within two seconds flat and gathering all of my work together so I could shove it in my bag and make a break for it.

“Shit you’re late aren’t you?”

“Thank you captain obvious,” I snarled, “hurry the fuck up, I need to go – now!”

Something about the utter urgency in my tone of voice made him haul ass because we were speeding off to my house within 5 minutes. I think the need to get home soon being etched so firmly onto both our brains addled our common sense, because I found myself not even noticing when Jacob bypassed the corner where he normally drops me off at and stopped outside my house instead. My hands shaking it took me three attempts to unbuckle my seatbelt and I forced the door open so hard I almost went flying face first onto the pavement. Which in all fairness, wouldn’t be as bad as what is going to happen to me in a matter of minutes.

If I believed in God I would be praying my arse off now…

Although I think the reason I don’t believe in someone up there living in the clouds controlling my life for me is quite clear, because if God is real, he – or she of course – is a cuntbucket for all the pain they’re subjecting me too.

My heartbeat was beginning to match the pace of my quickening feet, my brain was ordering me to get there as soon as possible where every fibre of my being was yelling to turn around and run, but I couldn’t. I got halfway up the path and my heart stopped at the same time my footsteps did because I saw the front door swing open.

“Lucy. Thank god you’re home. I was getting worried.” The icy cold tone of his voice matched the temperature of my blood.

As I finally reached him, he placed a large hand on my shoulder and squeezed, it was only when I heard shuffling behind me it registered we were still on the front garden and he couldn’t hit me in public. I turned to see Jacob holding my school bag loosly in his fingers. I stretched out to take it from him noting that for some bizarre reason he looked confused. His eyebrows were creased together as he started at us for a few seconds – my dad looking furious, and myself, terrified.

His eyes weren’t fixated on me specifically though, they were pointed at the hand on the shoulder, the knuckles of which were turning white from the pressure of squeezing so hard – a nice contrast to the purple bruises they would leave behind.

Even though I know that he hates me, I just couldn’t help wishing that he would be kind enough to pull his overly large head out of his arse and help me out here.

No such luck.

It did puzzle me though, why he looked so surprised at what he knew was going to happen. The hints were large enough even if he hadn’t have read my diary about it for fucks sake. Before deciding I had bigger things to worry about, I concluded it was the sadness and uniqueness of the situation that had done it, I mean its not exactly common is it? He was probably in shock.

“Sorry she’s late, it was my fault.”

“That’s okay son.”

And with that I was steered inside away from the one person who could have possibly even thought about helping me at that moment and right into trouble. We got inside, I feared for my life, dad slammed the door, I dropped my school bag and dad dropped the father act. I felt a searing pain in my stomach from sheer hatred of Jacob right before it was neatly replaced with a fist belonging to my so-called father.

“How hard is it to be back on time? I give you so much freedom! Let you go prancing around with your friends all of the time and when I ask you to be back for a certain time you just disobey me! It is not acceptable!”

“Sorry.”

“You are a fucking liar.” Yes. What’s your point? “You deserve everything that you’ve got coming to you.” He punched me again and I fell to the floor, he kicked me but then let me rest for a seconds, I managed to pull myself up with only one thought going through my head – get to my bedroom. “So. Weak.” We were circling each other, and I ended up at the foot of the stairs where I bolted round and made to run up them as fast as I could. Only I couldn’t go very fast at all because my stomach was killing me. And when I heard him thundering upstairs behind me, my stomach melted and fell in a pool at my toes, because I knew as soon as I reached the top, he had me.

I reached my bedroom door and all at once my heart began to race and fail me. His hand grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me round, and within a meagre ten seconds he had struck me round the face and pushed me in my room telling me not to come out again. Shit. I’m going to have a fucking mark on my cheek now. Fuck fuck fuck. I didn’t even have the weekend for it to flourish then fade. How the fuck could I hide this from Jaynee and Liam?

As I was reaching for the box in which I kept my blade, I knew that I couldn’t. I was so doomed. Its not like I can just skip school and have a day off at home either.

I laid the blade down on my bed, and inspected my injuries – actually, it was just bruises, no lasting damage. I could pass off being fine if it wasn’t for my fucking face. What the fuck is he doing hitting me there anyway?! He thinks I’m the stupid one!

I pulled out a towel so I didn’t get blood on anything and I pushed my shirt down so the top of my arm and shoulder was poking out through the neck hole and brought the blade down. Three vertical cuts, probably five centimetres in length, one after another. You cut, watch the blood dribble, revel in the relaxing, soothing pain – which disappointingly, I barely feel now anyway, and then you wipe it away again. And if you smooth out the skin, the blood beads up again. Honestly, it’s fascinating. I think I was probably sat there for an hour before the bleeding slowed, but it went fast so that’s not bad. I packed things away and winced as I did so – I was going to be so sore and so stiff in the morning. Eventually I went to sleep, and the one last thought I had before I did so wasn’t exactly comforting…

My dad was right.

I am weak.

---

I didn’t want Jaynee and Liam to worry about me until the last minute because there was no escaping this one – I was trapped, it would be impossible for them not to see the bruise. So I sent her a text asking for her to bring me some make-up into school to cover the bruise with – he skin was of a fairly pale complexion just like mine was so I should be okay using hers. I told her I had a huge spot and that’s what I needed it for. Her reply read, ‘lmao okay drama queen, will see you soon luveth xxxx’ I knew that even though she was joking, she’d feel guilty about calling me a drama queen later.

Of course abuse is a god-awful thing, people deal with it differently, knowing and seeing are two completely different things. I just wish idiot-faces way of dealing with it wasn’t taking the piss out of me. Maybe he’s in denial or something. He probably didn’t even believe my diary when he read it, or maybe thought I was over exaggerating. Obviously he’s shocked to find out that I wasn’t and he’s just trying to pass it off as not his problem, a fact made clear by me climbing into the car the next morning, and him asking me, “So um, what’s up with your face?”

I think I started at him for a full ten seconds before responding. By responding, I mean exploding “WHAT?” which made him jump, even though he was driving so it probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done but who gives a shit.

“Seriously…”

“Oh! Seriously?” I snarled. “I walked into a door.” He laughed. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to hate me that much. Apparently it was. Even though I hate him too, it actually hurts a bit. Not something I like to admit, but it does. That, plus sheer anger pulsing through my veins caused an absolute explosion on my behalf. It’s just a good job we were stopped and parked at school this time.

“I hate you so much. Talk to me today, turn up at lunch and I will rip your fucking bollox off.” Doesn’t sound like a lot for an explosion, but the amount of utter malice I got in there made my exit from his car utterly effective.

---

I walked into tutor with my hood pulled up, Jaynee and Liam were sat talking as usual and thankfully I saw she had brought what I needed – she was rolling it around the table. I didn’t even get a chance to sit down before they realised that something was wrong. I did look like shit anyway.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked me worriedly, Jaynee was staring at my face with a quizzical look on her own.

She got up and made a move to pull my hood off my face and as an instant reaction I jerked back, “bathroom. Now.”

“shit” Liam cursed. He swung down under the table for his and Jaynee’s bags and told one of the girls that sit on the table over from us to tell our tutor we were here – e was cool, he’d mark us present.

We ended up at one of the girls bathrooms that was pretty much out of the way from anywhere and since it was quite early as well it was empty, Jaynee checked it out first and then beckoned Liam in who hid in a stall, Jaynee pushed me in after him and she followed, somehow locking all of us in there. It was to say the least, fucking uncomfortable.

“Show us your bruises now.”

“It’s not -”

“Stop it. We know the signs, that’s the only reason you wont pull your hood down and the only reason you need make up.” Liam pulled my hood down for me and Jaynee – since she was in front of me – tilted my face so she could see it. When she let go I dipped my head down and started at my shoes. I hated this.

“why didn’t you tell us? We would have picked you up!”

“I wasn’t allowed back out.”

“Would he really have noticed?” No. “you could have at least told me when you texted me earlier,”

“I didn’t want to worry you both.”

“For gods sakes Lucy,” Liam hissed, “you know by now that you should have told us, that bruise is fucking awful. He really hit you! How can you not be bothered?” A clunk told me he had sat on top of the toilet seat with his head in his hands.

“Are you okay Liam?” Another pang of guilt shot through me

“I’m not the one we need to be worrying about.” He looked up at me, ”Where else do you hurt?”

“Nowhere it’s just my face,”

“Bullshit.”

“If we have to strip you naked to see then we will. Just pull your fucking shirt up Lucy.”

“Seriously, it’s just my face.”

“We’re not stupid! We know that he does this a lot more often than you tell us about and we know that the only reason you’re telling us now is because we can see for ourselves, so we know that it is damn well not just your face.” Jaynee sounded fierce…she was starting to scare me a tad.

“It is, I mean when’s the last time he hit me?”

“That was a stupid thing to say really. “We don’t know about that but we can tell you the last time you told us about it. We all know they’re two different things.” Fuck. Liam was getting bitchy. Not a good sign.

How they did it within the confines of a ridiculously small space I don’t know but they managed to find enough room to have us all standing in a line. Liam stood behind me and gently – though tight enough so I couldn’t get them free – held my wrists behind my back. Jaynee lifted my shirt up to just underneath my bra, and she looked at my stomach and checked my back. She had a horrified expression on her face as she traced my bruises with one of her nicely painted nails.

I was stood there watching her nearly crying and I felt like the biggest bitch ever I don’t want to make her feel like that! And if she was so upset over someone else hurting me, would she be even more disappointed that I did it to myself?

Gently, she rolled my shirt back down and shook her head sadly, a slight gasp escaping her glossy lips, telling Liam softly that they were right. I didn’t know what to do, and the only thing I did do certainly didn’t help matters.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek, followed by another, and another. Jaynee cries when others do, and she started as well and she hugged me, and so did Liam and we were just crammed into the toilet cubicle for five minutes, me sandwiched between them both, before we had all calmed down.

“Right. Lets hide this then. Come here.” Jaynee tilted my chin upwards her, and I avoided her gaze as she expertly dabbed the make up on me. Looking in the mirror afterwards I was amazed at how well hidden that bruise was. I defiantly made the right choice in asking her to do this for me. If this is how well make-up actually works Casey must look like a fucking sixty-year-old man. She pressed the make up into my palm, “Keep topping it up.”

And we all just stood there. Awkward…

It’s a good job we all have first lesson free or we would have been bollocked for skipping.

“Do you want to go to the nurse?”

“No point. The pain killers aren’t real.” Everyone knows that they’re just compressed flower – she’s not even allowed to administer fucking plasters.

“I meant to get checked up.”

“Nothing you can do for bruises, my ribs aren’t broken.”

“Come on guys, lets go for a walk.” We headed out the girls toilets, first making sure the coast was clear for Liam, and then we walked round the schools field. I knew that they would want to talk about this, ask me for every little detail, scold me for trying to hide it and try to convince me to tell everyone. But as we were walking along, me holding one of each of their hands in my own, I felt safer than I had done in a while.