The World Underneath You

Chapter 1

Words Left Unspoken

The summer sun beamed down on me as I sat out on the front porch watching the other kids riding bikes, playing basketball or just hanging out enjoying their last days of summer vacation, I thought about how much I wish I was still back with my friends. Instead here I am in this new neighborhood and house about to start this new school in a few days, as my brother goes off to Iraq to fight in this pointless war. Though I know not everyone thinks that; I do, but I’m not going to get into that. My brother was inside trying to comfort my mom about him leaving, he has been the man of the house since my dad left us ten years ago. I am not sixteen years old and my brother is nineteen. I am angry with him, he believes that he is doing right being in the army, I don’t mean I’m not happy that he is fighting for your country and all but my mom and I need him more. Him an I are so close that if I was to lose him I wouldn’t know what to do.

I heard the front door open I refused to look up at him, I continued to stare out at the other kids as he walked in front of me in his uniform and sat down next to me.

“Alamara, I know you’re angry with me, but this is what I choose. I just wish you would understand why I want to do this and why I did this.”

I turned and looked at his emerald green eyes and now shaved down brown hair, his freshly ironed uniform. He frowned, maybe because of the face I was making. The face of sadness and loneliness.

“Please, I don’t want to leave like this.”

“I know why you did it, it’s just I’m not thinking the same way. I still love you and always will.” I said crinkling my nose.

“I promise you, I will not come home in a body bag.”

“Not funny,” I groaned at the thought.

“Fine, I promise I will live longer than you. I will write you emails as much as I can.”

“Fair enough.”

“You should go in and help mom get ready, we have to leave for the airport in ten minutes.”

I stood up nodding, knowing that my mom was probably a complete mess. I started for the door, he was already on his feet holding my arm. I looked at him nervously.

“Wait.”

I couldn’t read the blank expression on his face, I knew what he was about to say next and I wouldn’t like it.

“Promise me something…” he paused waiting for my response.

I stared at him and nodded, waiting for that sentence I was dreading.

“Promise me if something does happen to me you will take car of mom.”

“Alex…”

“Let’s think logically,” He said looking down.

“I promise… but you have to keep your promise and I wont have to keep mine,” I staid trying to relieve some stress that washed over me.

He let go of my arm, opened the door for me and I went inside. There are still boxes randomly scattered about the living room waiting to be unpacked. I walked down the miniature hallway dreading the thought of trying to comfort my mom enough to get her ready to send Alex off to war. Her door was cracked open, I slowly pushed open the door, and slowly walked forward into the empty room. Her sobbing was uncontrollable. She sat at the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. This was new to me, I didn’t know what to do or what to say for that matter. I was never good at comforting. I slowly walked the rest of the way into her bedroom and sat down next to her on the bed. The first thing I could think of was to rub her back, try to calm her down. Her sobbing slowed, she grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

“Mom…” I started but I couldn’t find the words to say.

She looked at me, her blue eyes red, her brown hair in knots, and tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.

“We could lose him.” She mumbled between sobs.

The thought hit me and I felt the tears swell up in my eyes. There was a gentle knock at the open door.

“Mom, Alamara, we need to go,” he said in a blank tone.

I heard his footsteps leave and I looked at my mom, with tears falling from my eyes. She started to rub the tears off my cheeks that had escaped my eyes.

“It’s time to be strong for him,” mom replied now wiping her own eyes.

I started at her confused, where did this strength all of a sudden come from. She stood up in front of me and took my hands in hers.

“Come on get up.”

I got up onto my feet.

The half hour to the airport was quiet as I had feared. The walk to the gate was worse. There was no words to explain how I felt, well maybe there was but I didn’t want to think about them. He hugged me and kissed my head.

“I love you,” we said in unison.

He smiled and I half smiled trying desperately not to cry. He hugged mom who didn’t want to let go and I thought I him mumble mom I have to go. She let go and he kissed her wet cheek.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” she sobbed now.

He turned away quickly as he could and headed for the gate. He didn’t look back, he might have cried. I probably will never know. Now I had to be strong for my mom and I have to look after her. From now on I will look forward to those emails he will send, that will hopefully comfort both my mom and I.