Jas Rey 2-20-08

The Holy Ghost Is Haunting Me

When will it happen?

That yellow spark

That makes life

Pretend like it’s worth living?

When will my reasoning and intellect

Turn to ash by the fires of hell

So I can meet my owner?

Seeing that it is the only porthole to happiness

According to the precocious prophet in the pulpit

Maybe it will it ignite

When I let go of my will

To a book of dramatic fiction

With bits of romantic poetry

Or maybe it will happen

When I let my primitive needs

Suffer until my shell shrivels up

It is not that my love for him dims

For I can’t think of a day

That can’t function without it

Or maybe it’s because

You raised me to follow

A lonely tyrant

Who needs me more than he says he does

Why has it not happened?

My life is full of rituals and fake laughter

And the belief that irrational judgments will set us free

While the ones connected to reality and goodwill

Must suffer the same burden as my reasoning and intellect

I did what the manual told me to

So what troubles you still?

Is my heart not crushed enough?

My soul not dry enough?

It’s a funny thing

What I put myself through

Only to make life

Pretend like it’s worth living

Maybe that yellow spark won’t come

And maybe

I won’t care