(49)

Mere’s and Steph’s Band Class

Hillary: Are the people in Massaponax Band class band geeks?

Shania: Its not nice to call people band geeks. Anyway, they’re not. We are.

Mere: Hey, I’m not a band geek. I’m a drummer chick, thanks.

Tyler Reese: Then what am I?

Mere: I don’t know. You’re a sax-man cuz you’re really good at it. Notices everyone staring at her What?

Hillary: You said Tyler was a sex man cuz he was really good at it. I was thinking, and how would she know that?

Mere: Is that why you gave me that weird look?

Tyler: Yeah.

Everyone: bursts out laughing

-

(50)

Watching AFV where a little boy was bumping his head on fun house mirrors.

Me: Ok, you think that he’d be smart enough to figure out that if you see your reflection, you’re at a mirror.

-

(51)

While in Knoxville for bros. graduation, missing our friends

Mack: If it were Friday, they’d be in History

Me: Looks at watch Class ends in 5 minuets

Mack: IT’S NOT FRIDAY

Me: WELL EXCUSE ME!

-

(52)

Steph: after reading a note from one of our teachers Oh, you mean a Ping?

Me: What’s a ping?

Steph: a PNG, ping…looks at her note, and without looking up knows that we’re staing at her in silence you can stop staring at me now

-

(53)

Mack: Do you want to know how stupid I am?

Me: Yep

Mack, Mere, Steph, and Me: Bursts out laughing

-

(54)

Me: Reading from a quiz sewing, wakeboarding, gymnastics, or kilning dragon

Steph: Killing dragons?

Mack/Me/Mere: KILNING

Mack: You’re as dumb as a rock

-

(55)

Overheard Conversation

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, do you work here?”

Random Taco Bell Worker browsing Dollar Store: “Does it LOOK like I work here?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Random Taco Bell Worker browsing Dollar Store: “No.”

Customer: “Oh…well, do you know how much this is?”

Random Taco Bell Worker browsing Dollar Store: “It’s a dollar.”

Customer: “How did you know that if you didn’t work here?”

Random Taco Bell Worker browsing Dollar Store: “Lady, do you have ANY idea where you are right now? You are in a dollar store. Do you know what that means?”

Customer: “That’s impossible.”

Random Taco Bell Worker browsing Dollar Store: “…what?”

Customer: “This store doesn’t sell dollars.”

-

(56)

Granddaddy: You’re not as dumb as you look talking to Steph

Me: laughs and then stops Hey! That’s insulting to all four of us!

-

(57)

Stranger: Are you four sisters? Are you related?

Me: Totally deadpan and referring to my sisters I have never seen these people in my entire life

Stranger: Nods and walks away

Me: Stares after them I never thought that would work

Mack/Mere/Steph: Bursts out laughing

-

(58)

James: Walks into my StudyHall Uh, do you know where my class is?

Study Hall: They’re in Philadelphia

James: Oh laughs

-

(59)

Me: reading from a magazine If you were stuck on a deserted island, what three things would you bring with you?

Mere: Why don’ these people ever bring a boat so they can get off the island

Me: I know, they’re so stupid

-

(60)

Watching some Verizon commercial on TV

Announcer: Light up the sky

Mere/Me: Singing Let me light up the sky. Light it up for you. Let me tell you why, I would die for you. Just so you know, that was Yellowcard’s song ‘Light up the Sky’

-

(61)

In English Class, Mack is wondering if anyone is gone. This one kid in our class, Kelby, left during the second half of the third quarter and we’re now in our last quarter of school and one week away from summer.

Scott: Uh all the chairs are filled in the only person that isn’t here is Kelby

Mack/Me: Well Duh Mack was sitting in front of Scott and I was sitting behind them, listening to their conversation when we said ‘well duh’ at the same time

-

(62)

Mrs. Clark Evans (English Teacher): When you write your reflective letter, I want you to put on the date

Mere/Me: Why?

Mrs. Clark Evans: Stares

-

(63)

Me: Ok seriously, I think that it would be so much simpler to NOT do this until I finish typing everything

Mere: Which is why I’m not doing anything

-

(64)

Mack: Hah, guys, listen to this, someone has a profile named Hiroshima-Rose

Mere: What’s that supposed to mean?

Mack: You’re a flower the way she said it was like ‘you’re a flowa’, which made us crack up

-

(65)

Mom: Mack, do you want any watermelon?

Mack: No, I hate watermelon

Me: Wait, you eat watermelon but you don’t like it?

Mack: I only eat it for the speed sitting-I mean SEED SPITTING contests!!