Xu sat huddled in a corner of her room. Her new home was bare; she had not yet bothered to furnish it. There were a few cushions that had been brought from others to sit on; she used these as a bed when no one was around. She had a blanket and a pillow. She hugged her pillow to her chest for comfort as she sat on the floor; her feet were curled round almost under her, in an almost protective manner. It had been a few months since the battle, Gilly hadn’t come back. She had never felt the way she did in the days and weeks after. Everyday was spent at the cave entrance waiting for him to come back. Soon she began to expect him less and less. Now there was just emptiness inside her, she didn’t know what to do, she was numb.

Lines that travelled down her cheeks betrayed the fact that she had been crying, though she never tried to hide it. Dani and Alex were in the house next door. They spent most of their time together as always. In her time alone though Xu would sit alone and dream of Gilly. Praying for him, that he was safe wherever he was and that she would see him again. ‘It was all going to be perfect after this’ she said to herself. ‘That was the last one.’ Tears started again. She hated being so helpless. Gilly had always tried to make sure that she could look after herself, while he was away and if anything ever happened to him, but for some reason she thought none of it was worth doing without him. Her sword hung on Dani’s wall now; she didn’t want to see it. Though she loved it greatly because it was made by Gilly and he had taught her how to use it, it reminded her of what had taken him away from her. There had been no fighting for over two months now. Since the combined armies had wiped out the alien troop that made the journey around the mountains to find them. Casualties had been huge. But even so there were no funerals. Xu had always questioned the tradition. She always thought it was wrong that the soldiers weren’t given that honour. But now it was a comfort for her. It allowed her the hope that Gilly and the others were still alive. She and the others had questioned every person who had returned from the first battle. None of them seemed to know what had happened to them.

Xu almost wished that she could have the same attitude as Dani. Although she was cheerful when Alex was around, there was a new hardness in her. She believed that there had been a plot against the group and that the soldiers were covering it up. The hate that she felt seemed to carry her through life with more strength than Xu could muster.

Dani put Alex to bed. She was quieter now her father wasn’t around.

“When is Daddy coming back Mammy?”

“There are people that he has to help before he can come back Honey.” She replied with a smile. Her belief that they were all still alive kept her going; she didn’t want to be as openly miserable like Xu was. Besides she had Alex to worry about. She had decided that it was better to tell her that her father was somewhere else, than to tell her that he should already be home.

“And Uncle Gilly too?”

“Yep.”

“And Uncle Allie.”

“Yes, they’re all together don’t worry.”

“Good, because I don’t want Daddy to get lonely.”

“I’ll tell him that when he gets back.”

“He has to help other people first though Mammy.”

“Yes he does.” She smiled, tears welling in her eyes

“But he’ll be back soon. Don’t worry Mammy.” Alex added seeing her mother upset.

“I love you Alex.”

“I love you too Mammy, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Dani closed the door to her daughter’s room behind her and rested back on it. The tears came quickly and silently. She moved to the cushions in the centre of the living area and sat down heavily. She held her head in her hands, hiding her face from the world. She hated showing how upset she was.

‘Why do I cry, I know he’s safe wherever he is. They were too arrogant to be killed as part of someone’s plan. They’d survive just to rub it in his face.’

She fought to suppress the remaining tears. As she looked up her eyes rested on the cupboard in front of her. She stood up and opened the doors. Inside were two swords, hers and Xu’s. She took hers out and sat back down on the floor, resting the sword in her lap. She used the material at the bottom of the shirt to clean off a thin layer of dust that had formed on the blade. When she had finished she saw the hole that had been cut in the fabric. She smiled

‘Still sharp enough.’

She tilted the blade so she could see her face in it. She smiled again, running her hand through her hair watching herself in the blade. She stood up and practised with her sword. It had been a few weeks since she had last done it. She was not prepared to forget everything she had learned. Her eyes travelled to the door, above it hung her favourite weapon. ‘You’re next’ she thought with a smile.

Mai sat at her mother’s bedside with a bowl of soup. She had been unable to get out of bed for a month now. Mai knew that she didn’t have long left; the thought of losing someone else she loved was almost unbearable. She lived with her mother now so she could look after her constantly. She had seen every person in the caves that had medical experience, however none of those people had the experience as the medics who lived on the surface and took care of the soldiers. But they were hard to find and by the time one came to their cave it would be too late. The doctors they had had very little experience with viruses of this sort, having mostly dealt with physical ailments. They were getting better at what they did every day but unfortunately not quickly enough. Some of the medics had moved into caves however there were not many around. The medics lived in the most dangerous place, the surface. Those that had fled underground were mostly their students, too scared to carry on in constant danger, or they simply couldn’t deal with the things they had seen in the medical villages. A l out of those who moved into the caves needed help themselves and couldn’t be relied upon. She wished that Xu would help more often. ‘Although she does have a lot to deal with at the moment.’ Mai felt guilty for mourning Gilly. She knew she had every reason to do so because he was one of her closest friend, but the love she felt for him was not that of a friend, she never knew what to say to Xu now, she generally just felt awkward. In her own room she burned candles and prayed for Gilly, sometimes she would pray for him to come back, other times she would just pray that he had gone to heaven. She tried to put him from her mind by being with her mother, it gave her something to focus her mind, but lately it had just made her feel worse.

She helped her to sit up and held the bowl of soup to her lips. Her mother finished the soup and started coughing uncontrollably. Each cough hurt more than the last. No one could tell them what was wrong with her. All that they could ever find out was that soon she would die. She was fighting it as well as she could, but she could feel herself becoming weaker.

“We need to find someone for you.” She said as she lay back on the pillows.

“Yes Mama, when you get better.” Mai said, as she pulled the blanket back over her mother. “Try to get some sleep now.” Mai stroked her forehead, checking her temperature, she kissed her cheek then blew out the candle and left. Her mother couldn’t sleep; she laid thinking of her daughters’ future. Eventually sleep took her, but she knew she would have to do something.

Tristeza sat on a hill near to the cave entrance. The grass was soft underneath her but she wished that she was sitting on rock, her friends around her, or alone with Alucard. She hugged her arms around her as the cool night wind wound itself around her body.

“I should have been with you.” She said out loud. Her voice was sad. She understood everyone else’s sadness, but where they had all lost one person they loved, she had lost three. She knew that they were all friends but they also knew that Dani and Xu would be crying about Scott and Gilly now, not about the others, she didn’t blame them, she knew that she herself was more upset that Alucard hadn’t come back than the others, it didn’t mean that she didn’t love Ghiaccio and Ian, she just loved him in a different way. She stood up, the wind whipping at her hair. The sky above her was an inky blue, the full moon lit up the land around her. She looked up at the stars, wondering if they could see her wherever they were. ‘No’ she thought ‘That’s silly, they’re alive, not stars.’ She agreed with Dani, there had been a lot of casualties in those few days, but it was very unlikely that not one of that group had come back, there was something that none of them had seen. Something else had happened that day, which no one would tell them about.

She was wearing a short shirt and a skirt, both flapped in the wind, her bare legs were cold, her bare feet wet with the dew on the grass. She paid no attention to either. “Why did you leave me behind?!” She shouted to the sky “I should be with you!” ‘Not alone’ she added to herself.

There were times she thought that she understood what Alucard had been going through since the start of the war. She had lost the one she loved and the rest of her family. Those thoughts disappeared quickly, ‘I have no right to think that, it’s not the same, he went through so much, even before she died. But he was taken from me too, because of someone else.’ She screamed at the sky again as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She fell to her knees, it was the second time she had lost a group of people that she loved, and somehow it hurt more this time.

Dani walked into Xu’s house without knocking. She looked around, not seeing her she knocked on the door of her bedroom. Xu came out, the misery she felt was written on her face. She hugged Dani as soon as she saw her. Dani kissed her forehead and pushed her away gently.

“How are you?”

“I’m ok I guess.” Xu tried to force a smile as she rubbed her eyes and cheeks with her sleeve. Dani smiled

“I’ve been thinking.” Dani started holding up a sword in each hand.

“No.” Xu protested, without hearing the rest of what Dani had to say.

“We owe it to them to keep practising.”

“I don’t want to.” She protested again

Dani slapped her face as Xu began to cry again. Xu was stunned, holding her hand to her face, trying to hide how much it had hurt from her friend. Dani saw the anger start to build up inside Xu.

“Gilly taught you how to use this sword so you could protect yourself when he wasn’t here. How do you think he would feel to know you weren’t practising? Do you want to forget everything he taught you?”

“No, but I hate violence, I hate war, I hate it all, I wont have anything to do with it or anything that plays a part in it.”

“Gilly didn’t like fighting either. But he was good at it. And he did it to protect you.”

“I can’t protect him though.”

“No but you hold him in your heart, if you let this go you will be letting a part of him go with it.” Dani threw the sword to Xu. She caught it naturally; she stood looking at the sword in her hand, studying every detail.

“You’re right; I can’t stop this can I?”

“He wouldn’t want you to.”

“He made all of this himself.” Xu said only half talking to Dani

“That must show you how much he loves you, and how much he wanted to be sure you would be safe.”

“I’ll practise.” Xu said, exhaling deeply, her shoulders relaxing. “But not tonight, I can’t concentrate.”

“OK, that’s all I wanted.” Dani smiled and sat down on the floor, Xu joined her, their swords laid down in front of them as they spoke.